Ludicrous arguments had with family members

Mumsnetters share the ridiculous things that have sparked daft rows with loved ones.


1. The meaning of 'diagonal' 


"My son had a meltdown because I'd cut his sandwich across from top left to bottom right. He was 17 and refused to eat it because I'd spoilt it. I 'made' him another one, with the diagonal going the right way yes I just turned the plate around."


2. Pets (and ex-pets)


"We spent half an hour debating whether we had once owned a guinea pig (we had). My husband only agreed when I suggested he go down the garden and open the animal mausoleum so that we could identify the skeletal remains."


3. Science and geekery

Big Bang Theory 

"Our daftest row was over the atomic weight of chlorine." 

"Ex-MIL, about what the primary colours were. She kept saying they were yellow, red and green" [green is a primary for physicists, but not for painters, appaz. Who knew?]

"We had a lengthy and heated 'discussion' about whether a Star Wars TIE fighter would have pedals (ie clutch/break) like a car, and the level of technology which would allow advanced space flight (ie warp speed)."


4. Pop culture

"We nearly split up after a row over whether or not batman possesses ninja skills."

"The plot and characters of Les Mis. He is wronger than King Wrong of Wrongtown on wrong day."


5. The children (of course)


"I once had a huge fight with my ex about finding out the sex of our baby. He didn't want to find out and I was heartbroken. I cried, I screamed, we fought for hours. I wasn't pregnant. Wasn't even trying. In fact we had no plans for kids in the foreseeable future and didn't even know anyone who was expecting."


6. The origins and effects of food 


"My father-in-law INSISTS that banoffee pie is so called because it originated from a place in Scotland called Banafie. This argument comes up every fecking time banoffee pie is on a menu. Despite me explaining (nay, everyone explaining) that banoffee pie is made of banana and toffee he will not have it."

"My husband and I had a massive row when he argued that counting the calories you eat and comparing them to the calories you expend was ridiculous, because it doesn't take account of the calories you poo out."


7. Whether we're having enough fun


"I had an awful row with my mum when I was 14. We were on holiday on a river boat and I wasn't enjoying myself enough. I remember standing on the riverbank crying and yelling 'I'm having a brilliant time!'"


8. Linguistics

shhh finger mouth 

"I once had a flaming row with my brother about the correct spelling of the word 'Nessun' in Nessun Dorma. He was adamant it was Nissan. 'Pavarotti wasn't warbling about a FUCKING CAR, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!'" 

"I once had a huge row with a friend over the order of body parts in Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes. She was adamant it was 'eyes and ears and nose and mouth' and wouldn't accept that it didn't rhyme with toes! Actually, it still pisses me off."


9. Poor diction

"The time I was sitting on his knee and he said, 'That's a big ask'. The final 'k' wasn't audible."



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Last updated: about 3 years ago