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Most disgusting things your child has done to you

Herein lies a list of Mumsnetters' most repugnant parenting moments. WARNING: If you're not already a parent, do not read this.

Disgusted baby


1. "I was sat on the toilet when my son came and threw up in between my legs. Bless him for trying to make it to the toilet."

2. "My son, at two weeks' old, peed in my hair during a 3am nappy change. I was so tired I just carried on sorting his nappy and settling him, then I put a towel on my pillow and went back to sleep."

3. "I've licked poo off my wrist (I thought it was chocolate)."

shocked baby

4. "My daughter barfed into my open mouth. Reader, I swallowed it."

5. "My 10-month-old seems to be perpetually covered in drool and snot at the moment. Today while we were playing, I stuck my tongue out at her and closed my eyes (just for a second), and she leaned forward and literally put her mouth around my tongue and licked it. As in, full-on French kiss. I laughed, but my whole face was smothered in snot and saliva, and I had the sobering thought that I have finally lost all personal boundaries."

Disgusted baby

6. "Today my son licked my eyeball. He is three. No excuse."

7. "When my son was a baby, he vomited in my eyes. I don't know how he even managed it."

8. "My daughter gave me a half-chewed biscuit. I couldn't work out where it had come from and so sniffed it as I was puzzled. It wasn't a biscuit. It was poo that had fallen out of her nappy somehow."

9. "My youngest son kept giving me his finger to kiss. I kept kissing it while trying to read - and then figured out he had been wiping his finger on his bum, up his nose, prodding his willy then getting me to kiss his finger! Little freak darling."

10. "When my daughter was little, I twice had the Holy Trinity of pee, poo and spew."


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Last updated: over 3 years ago