16 ways to annoy your kids

Why is irritating one's own children so much fun? Here's how Mumsnetters do it. 

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1. "Child: 'You know granny?'  Me: 'No. Who is granny?' 

Pause, repeat."

child annoyed


2. "I sing the Peter Rabbit theme tune in an excessively croony fashion.

My kids all hate it, which naturally gives me the impulse to do it more."

home alone boy shut up gif 


3. "My husband once threatened to collect our daughter doing his special 'robot dance'

... à la Peter Crouch. She burst into tears."

peter crouch doing robot dance


4."I make a big fuss of 'Mummy's little soldier' when his friends come over

...complete with cheek squeezes. He's 17."

girl having cheeks squeezed


5."Posting 'Is this the Harry Styles calendar you wanted for your birthday?'

...on my son's wall."



6."I've hurt my wrist, so I ask which one wants to help me put my bra on.

That gets them off to school sharpish."


7. "I love asking my step son to see if he has enough pairs of clean knickers.

The look of disgust is immensely satisfying."

eye roll


8."I often treat my children to an interpretive dance version of current hits. 

My eldest son was so traumatised after seeing me shake it to Moves Like Jagger that he spent the rest of the day upstairs." 

david brent dance office


9. "Skipping when I am walking anywhere with my daughter.

Always results in lots of 'Mum, stop it. Really Mum, please, stop it'."



10."I love to wind my daughter up by doing The Voice...

Think shades of Lady Bracknell - lots of 'I say!', 'Well, I never!', and referring to myself as 'one'."


11."I put my onesie on and dance Miranda-style

...whilst singing The Onesie Song which goes, 'I'm having funzee in my onesie'. Oh how I laugh as the teenage sons run off screaming."


12."When they ask what's for dinner, I say the scrapings from the sole of my foot. 

They scream 'Eurrgh!'"



 13."I ask mine for three acts of worship if they want anything.

The quality of the worshipping determines whether or not they get whatever they are after."


 14. "Changing the words to Frozen songs  

'I'm never going back, the pasta's in the pan!'"

frozen with speech bubble the mould never bothered me anyway 


 15. "The Morecambe and Wise dance through the wine aisle

I witnessed a dad doing this with his teenage daughter, and it was a thing of beauty in the embarrassment stakes."



 16. "When they tell me they love me, occasionally I screw my face up

and say 'Ewww gross'."

woman looking disgusted


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Last updated: almost 2 years ago