School runs that were memorable for all the wrong reasons: eight of the best
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one with the striptease
"When I was a toddler, my mum had dropped my sister at school
and was kneeling on the back seat strapping me in when the
door swung shut on a fold of her dress. Child locks on the
windows and doors in the back of the car meant there was nothing she
could do but take her dress off, crawl into the front seat and get out
in just her underwear to open the door and retrieve it."
2. The one with the maths (and biology)
"My five-year-old was in the back of the car with his six-year-old
brother. He piped up: 'so mummy, you've had sex two times'. This
was not good for my driving."
one with the Houdini attempt
"I locked myself and my daughter in the back of the car. I had to
knock on the window to get a passing mum to release me."
one with the unauthorised passenger
"I've got to school before to find that, in the commotion of
getting everyone in, we've managed to bring the cat in the
one where it's all too quiet
"I had my son in the back of the car, clean, smart and ready for
school. Son was a bit quiet which should have warned me. Got to
school to discover he had found my make-up bag and smeared
foundation all over his face, his hands, his uniform, his chair - the lot!
I didn't realise how much those little bottles contain..."
one with the drive-through
"That would be driving into my child's school and out the other side,
without stopping to let him out."
7. The one with the vomiting
"Once, when looking after my friend's kids, the three-year-old was
sick in the car. Which would be bad enough in itself, except she was sick
ON the baby."
8. The one with the WRONG child
"Having three children means the school run is always pretty
hectic. One day I managed to buckle up the wrong child and drive
off. It wasn't until my son asked me why were were taking Katy
swimming with us that I realised. Luckily her mum was waiting for us
with my daughter in tow and was pretty cool about it."
And finally: the one that didn't happen at
"The worst school run pick-up for
me was when I forgot to do it. Cue frantic drive to school an hour later,
full of shame, to see the kids sitting there like Paddington bear, all
forlorn and forgotten about."
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