9 disastrous school runs

woman stressed out about school run

The school run: often stressful, sometimes hilarious, and – in these cases – totally disastrous. So if you've been having school run woes of your own, grab a cuppa and get a load of these nine trips that are probably definitely worse.

For more hilarious, and undeniably useful, school-related yarns, check out our Back to school pages.

1. The one with the striptease

1. The one with the striptease

“When I was a toddler, my mum had dropped my sister at school and was kneeling on the back seat strapping me in when the door swung shut on a fold of her dress. Child locks on the windows and doors in the back of the car meant there was nothing she could do but take her dress off, crawl into the front seat and get out in just her underwear to open the door and retrieve it.”

2. The one with the biology lesson

2. The one with the biology lesson

“My five-year-old was in the back of the car with his six-year-old brother. He piped up: 'so mummy, you've had sex two times'. This was not good for my driving.”

3. The one with the Houdini attempt

3. The one with the Houdini attempt

“I locked myself and my daughter in the back of the car. I had to knock on the window to get a passing mum to release me.”

4. The one with the unauthorised passenger

4. The one with the unauthorised passenger

“I've got to school before to find that, in the commotion of getting everyone in, we'd managed to bring the cat in the boot.”

5. The one where it's all too quiet

5. The one where it's all too quiet

“I had my son in the back of the car – clean, smart and ready for school. He was a bit quiet, which should have warned me. Got to school to discover that he'd found my make-up bag and smeared foundation all over his face, hands, uniform, and chair. I didn't realise how much those little bottles contain…”

6. The one with the drive-through

6. The one with the drive-through

“That would be driving into my child's school and out the other side, without stopping to let him out.” Whoops.

7. The one with the vomiting child

7. The one with the vomiting child

“Once, when looking after my friend's kids, the three-year-old was sick in the car. Which would be bad enough in itself, except she was sick on the baby.”

8. The one with the WRONG child

8. The one with the WRONG child

“Having three children means the school run is always pretty hectic. One day I managed to buckle up the wrong child and drive off. It wasn't until my son asked me why were were taking Katy swimming with us that I realised. Luckily her mum was waiting for us with my daughter in tow and was pretty cool about it.”

9. And finally: the one that didn't happen at all

9. And finally: the one that didn't happen at all

“The worst school run pick-up for me was when I forgot to do it. Cue frantic drive to school an hour later, full of shame, to see the kids sitting there like Paddington Bear, all forlorn and forgotten about.”