5 unfair yet immutable rules of the school Nativity Play

Not everyone gets to be Mary, the sheep will almost certainly do something unspeakable, and the narrator forgets his lines... Mumsnetters shared other universal rules of the Nativity Play.

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1. Shirley Temple looks will get you everywhere

"I was Mary every year, apart from two stints as the Angel Gabriel... ah, the joys of being blonde and angelic looking." 


2. Teachers are legally obliged to give a 'part' to every child

"I was a grain of sand."

"I was half a worm in a school play once. Yes - half a worm."

"A friend of mine was the anus. Her line was 'I am the anus and I get rid of waste'. (Who's anus was in the nativity play? Mary's perhaps - on the birthing table?)"


3. School governors are the Kimye of UK primary schools

"All school governors, including parent ones, get front row seats at productions. The rest of us can't see a thing."


4. If your child gets a starring role, you will see a new side to other parents

"My daughter was picked quite out of the blue as the main part in a school play. One of the mums whose child normally got the main role came up to me and said, 'I don't understand why your daughter has got the part - there isn't anything special about her.'"


5. A starring role does not necessarily translate into future life success (however, failing to secure said role will leave you bitter forever)

"Our Mary was always the same girl - a brunette - who was the 'big I am' - pretty, brainy, intelligent. By all accounts she's a drug addict now."

And when in doubt, just remember this wise maxim...

"There are two types of people in the world: those who admit they get pissed off when their child doesn't get the part of Mary in the Nativity... and fucking liars."


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Last updated: almost 3 years ago