12 terrible car crimes committed by children

Despite all the clever tech now built into cars, sadly Mumsnetters prove there's no such thing as an entirely 'child-proof' vehicle

Share this on Facebook

1. Failing to grasp the difference between leaded and unleaded

"When my cousin was little, he posted the entire contents of my aunt's cutlery drawer into the petrol tank of his parents' car. The entire thing was fried and needed replacing."

2. Letting little creatures loose in the back seat

kermit the frog driving

"My children collected tadpoles in a bucket and snuck them home in the car. Next thing I hear 'Muuuuuum...there's a frog loose!'"

3. Treating the air vent as a slot machine


"I kept blaming my other half for the trolley pound going missing. Turns out my daughter was 'posting' it into the heater every time she climbed into her seat. Whoever buys our car will be extremely happy when that heater eventually pays out."

4. Putting the car window up, down, up, down....oh

"When my dad got our first car with electric windows I played with the control so much on one long journey that I broke it. The window was stuck down on a long motorway trip to London. The noise!" 

5. Channelling Regan MacNeil

"My four-year-old daughter vomited like something out of The Exorcist all over the back of our car. Despite numerous professional cleans it still smells like vomit on a hot day. It was everywhere, ceiling, floor, windows, her siblings!"

6. Inviting stowaways on board

"My daughter somehow snuck the cat into the car. I discovered him 45 minutes into our journey, only after turning the radio off to listen more carefully to the odd noise the car was making. Turned out to be our fat old ginger puss snoring under my seat."

7. Losing a single Tic Tac  

"When we’d had the car for a very short time my son managed to throw a Tic Tac in through an air vent. Whenever it's turned to maximum, the Tic Tac shifts and rattles. It's still rattling five years on."

8. Running the worst car wash ever


"My children "cleaned" the car by rubbing it thoroughly all over using gravel from the driveway. You can imagine how that turned out." 

9. Making an indelible impression

"My son recently decided it was a good idea to scratch his initials on the car with a stone. I asked him 'Why?' and his answer was, 'I wanted you to remember my name'."

10. Taking (and losing) the biscuit

"My daughter shoved biscuits down where the windows go up and down when she was about two. Years later we've still got the same car and her window still crunches whenever we open it."

11. Incurring the wrath of passing wildlife

"My kids were winding a peacock up in the car park of a country park on a day out. It charged for them, they ran like the wind and the peacock ran straight up to the car and hammered out its frustrations with its beak on its reflection on my nice shiny car."

12. Going the full Tracey Emin


"If anyone is interested I am launching a new modern art exhibit entitled 'McDonalds French Fries - A Study in Mould' in my car. Entrance is £20 per person and we are currently courting a Turner Prize nomination."

Liked this? Try these:


Choosing the right car for your family


Best car seats - as recommended by MNers

20 signs you've been hanging round kids too long


Last updated: almost 3 years ago