Book turn-offs: 10 things that get our literary goat

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1. Chick lit with a 'scatty' heroine

"Chucking her brand-name lip gloss and heels all over her little flat and having 'hilarious' scrapes involving dresses tucked into knickers or tripping up on an escalator in front of a hot man."

2. Twee, overly contrived titles

"The Hundred-Year-Old Hedgehog That Climbed Out Of A Ukrainian Tractor To Join The Lemon Drizzle Cake Society."


3. Fantasy books where the characters have ridiculous names

"'Lo!' said Khxörxhæs, wielding his spear, 'I can see the land of Lhīühãxh in the distance!'" 


4. Repetition and more repetition

"I used the search function on my Kindle and found 82 'growled' references in Fifty Shades Of Grey."


5. Photo of the writer on the back of the novel

"Love Margaret Atwood, hate reading a book that has her staring at me with those piercing eyes."


6. Miraculous anachronistic medical skills

"Oh yes, I, a peasant woman in 1432, have simply found that it is better to scrub up before performing operations on my patients. Also, I sterilize my instruments in ye olde cauldron.'"


7. Enough with the dialects

"I've just started a book set in Liverpool. The author lives in Liverpool (as do I) but God, it's like 'Eeee lad, go 'ead ya mef' in every other sentence." 


8. Endless description

"Thomas Hardy, yes, you love the West Country - we get it!"


9. Misery lit

"You know, all of those books called  'My life in the cupboard' or whatever."


10. Male authors who don't bother to check basic details about women

"I read one in which a woman slipped her bra off over her head. I cannot see this being the seductive and graceful movement intended, somehow."

 

Last updated: over 1 year ago