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Am I exploiting my children?

Crummy Mummy wonders whether the success of her blog is costing her children too much

exploiting children

"Have you heard about Victoria Beckham trademarking her daughter's name?

Apparently, she's registered Harper Beckham, five, for use in branded products including perfume and make-up, as well as use in the entertainment industry.

Of course, the newspapers have had a field day, criticising Posh for exploiting her kids - and you've got to admit trademarking your child’s name does sound pretty ridiculous on the face of it.

But is she really exploiting her kids? Or is she actually being quite shrewd and protecting their future interests?

Either way, it made me wonder: as a blogger, am I exploiting my kids? Because when you think about it there's a fine line between the likes of the Beckhams and a blogger."

Thursday's blog of the day: Conversations with my son

Life As A Widower was taken aback when his son asked him about loneliness, a new mother - and a baby brother

in conversation widower

"It was late at night when my son asked me a question I couldn't keep hanging. It was late, he knew he should already have been asleep, but sometimes you just know when it’s time to pause and have a proper chat.

'If you get a new wife would I be able to call her 'Mum'?' he asked.

'Would you want to?' I replied, slowing bringing myself to sit on the bed next to where he lay, somewhat taken aback by his completely unfamiliar line of questioning.

He nodded softly but quickly went quiet; it was time to talk.  

'Do you actually want me to get married again?’' I asked. Again, I noticed a gentle nod but he didn't really commit.  

'I want a baby brother,' he added, the conveyor belt of new relatives getting longer by the second.

'But do you actually want me to be with someone?' I pushed, suddenly realising I was conversing this way with a six-year-old, like any of it was his decision to make.  

'I just don't want you to be lonely,' he said cuddling up to me. 'I think you’re lonely when I'm not around.'

'I'm alright you know, Jackson. I'm not that lonely,' I went on.

'You are. I can tell. I know everything about you. I've known everything about you since I was three.'"


Wednesday's blog of the day: Feminist facepalms

All that Chas revisits Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale and finds new relevance in the cautionary plot and imperfect heroine

feminist facepalm

"We've all known those women, and we've all been those women, at some time or another. We've all fallen short of what we know are feminist ideals and instead resorted to individualism. We can relate to Offred's human shortcomings - she meets her husband Luke by having an affair with him, she feels little solidarity with many of the female characters in the book, rejecting the idea that women necessarily have any kind of obligation to one another.

But I believe Atwood constructed Offred's character in this way to show just how ultimately disempowered these failures will leave us, if we take them to extremes. If we persist in screwing other women over, if we think it makes us look cool and tough to say we don't need feminism, if we fail to take notice of the world around us and understand that justice witheld from women anywhere is injustice to women everywhere - then we will have no one to turn to, and no one to blame but ourselves, when we and our rights end up against the wall."

Tuesday's Blog of the day: "Terribly beautiful and horribly ugly" - life with a newborn

Make a Long Story Short finds herself unprepared for the complicated feelings she has towards her third baby

mother and newborn baby

"I really thought that having done this twice before, I'd have it down. That there wouldn't be anything to be surprised about. I don't feel tortured over any of our baby choices – because I'm more confident in them and because I don't have time or space to fret about them. And the tiny baby developments are even better and lovelier than you remember.

On the other hand, I have found a lot of things to be hard work. And they've almost been worse because I feel guilty about STILL finding them hard work, the third time around. I feel like I should be more together than I am.

I love it and I can't stand it. I want her to be older and I can't bear to think of her being any bigger than she is right now. It's terribly beautiful and it's horribly ugly.

I think it's probably time I accepted the contradiction as the messy, essential, really definitely OK thing it is."

Thursday's Blog of the day: "Over 30 and childless - should I freeze my eggs?"

After watching all her close friends have babies, Grey Eyebrow Girl confronts what she describes as 'womb ache', and considers her options

Woman thinking

"I love my friends and I love their babies even more. But hearing their woes of sleepless nights, childcare arrangements and running out of nappies breaks my heart.

When will it be my turn to cope with an untimely poo? Or to travel on a nine-hour flight with a crying baby while all the other passengers glare at me?

These things may be bloody awful for mothers - but all the horror you go through, is the horror I desire. All the arguments you have with your other half about who is going to do the 4am feed is the type of argument I crave.

For those of you 30-somethings who are happily childless. Bloody good on you. Whether you have or do not have a child is totally up to you. I unfortunately have womb ache."

Last updated: 21-Apr-2017 at 11:09 AM