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How to deal with difficult boss?

(9 Posts)
singingpinkmonkey Fri 12-Apr-19 17:15:46

I'm a bit sad I need advice on this but I really don't know how to deal with my boss.

I have always gotten on well with everyone I've worked with. Some more than others but I've never felt actively disliked before.

I've been at my current job for about 7 months and enjoy it apart from my working with my boss.

She seems to mock everything I do from my hobbies outside of work to the way I speak. I made the mistake of confiding in her when I was new to the company, that I wanted to lose weight. Now she scrutinises everything I eat in front of people Now, I can take a joke. In fact I often joke about myself and definitely don't have an ego, but she always seem to says things to and about me with a spiteful undertone.

For example, I couldn't attend a recent social event as I already had plans with friends. When colleagues asked where I was on this particular night out she told them that I hadn't come out as i don't feel comfortable mixing with people?!?!?

She always talks about people behind their backs and it really gets me down as I hate being party to it even by listening.
She flies into moods at the drop of a hat and today has been particularly hard. She has snapped and rolled her eyes at me too many times I've lost count.

She has been at the company for a long time and pretty much has senior management under her thumb. As we are a small company with not much HR presence I don't feel that there is much I can do.

I am trying to rise above it and not be so sensitive but I genuinely don't think there is a need to be so rude all the time.

Do I need to be more assertive or would that backfire?

Perhaps I should look for another job !

OP’s posts: |
jelly79 Sat 11-May-19 06:44:26

Oh no this is terrible and I imagine really hard! I don't understand people who have to trample on other people to prove their own worth. I am experiencing something similar. I challenge it regularly, have had an informal chat with HR and one of the directors. There is about to be a resignation from a colleague for partly this reason but I doubt anything will get done. I think being honest about how this is making you feel is the right move - I think that's my only option now too!

purplemunkey Sat 11-May-19 07:01:45

TBH I'd look for another job. Small company, no real HR - this won't change. The only way it would is if she left.

Go somewhere else. Life is too short to stay in a job that makes you unhappy.

JenniferJareau Sat 11-May-19 07:05:26

In your situation I'd look for another job. You have a small company, virtually no HR and she is tight with senior management. You have no leverage to get her to change.

WeeDangerousSpike Sat 11-May-19 07:06:29

Look for something else and be really clear why you're going when you hand your notice in to HR.
Even if you complain I doubt anything will change, but if you're gone at least she can't take it out on you, and maybe they'll fix it if they think they'll keep losing staff.

Sorry, I know it's miserable.

BossyBanana Sat 11-May-19 07:09:14

I would definitely be looking for a new job, she sounds horrible, you shouldn’t have to put up with that kind of treatment.

countrywalk Fri 14-Jun-19 08:55:29

Poor you that's horrible, she sounds like a complete and utter bitch.

Unless it is your absolute dream job then I think I would be inclined to look for another job where you will get the appreciation and kindness you deserve.

Proggy Fri 14-Jun-19 08:59:40

Gosh she’s such a cow ! I feel sorry for you.

itsahardknocklife87 Tue 16-Jul-19 22:33:04

My boss is horrendous hyper critical, manipulative , everyone fears her. Today yet again had me in tears. I have sympathy for you hang in there x

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