Bullying/nasty 🐄- what is this, what shall I do?

(6 Posts)
Lisyloo725 Wed 02-Dec-20 06:49:59

Hi mumsnetters!
I’ve been working for this company for 10 years and since Dec have been in a new role with a new team. It’s a more academic role, ppl are a little bit arrogant but ok.
Most of the time we are out and about, not together as a team, but lockdown has meant that we’ve been both apart more (lockdown 1) as WFH, but then together more since then as being in (some team tasks were deemed essential) and doing our outreach virtually.

There’s a woman who
1. Announces to us all who she’d be sitting with on a drinks night
2. Laughs at me being on some team project because I’m new
3. Quickly shuts down my suggestion to get a takeaway one night after a long day event before anyone else could answer
4. Is seen (by bosses as well) to be testing and laughing during a team zoom, just when the teams for something were announced.
She speaks to me like dirt in addition to the above. She treats others more nicely add her tone is different with them.

As we’d spent so little time together I raised some of this with my boss and said that it felt like I was being bullied. She immediately arranged mediation but that only began recently due to home issues for the other girl.
Basically in the first meeting I raised my concerns. She said basically nothing and almost stormed out.
In the second meeting I actually waved the white flag (I just want it to stop) but she had scripted an attack on me. There were a list of 10+ things that I have said in her presence that she considers ‘micro aggressions’ - not limited to things I’ve said to her, but also her sidekicks.
Literally, she turned anything I’ve ever said to her into one - eg Swooning over pic of Stormzy...I said something like “look at that body but his face is so attitude-y”.

I’m being asked to kiss and make up today infact. I’ve said I want to delay the meeting.
I’m really unsure what this is, and what I should do next. I feel like resigning but TTC so can’t for financial reasons. It’s making me hate going into work- my eyes are puffy from being upset again last night.
Pls help!

OP’s posts: |
Snog Fri 04-Dec-20 09:01:39

I would start applying for other jobs

Lisyloo725 Fri 04-Dec-20 12:12:18

Thanks for your response Snog! I can’t really delay TTC though...I’m getting on!

OP’s posts: |
Lisyloo725 Fri 04-Dec-20 12:13:03

You’re right tho. I have looked at other stuff and know that I have options.
It’s just the TTC that’s keeping me there. 😞

OP’s posts: |
Snog Fri 04-Dec-20 12:26:13

I feel for you. Your health is super important though and stress won't be helping your conception odds.

Lisyloo725 Fri 04-Dec-20 19:47:48

Thanks so much for responding Snog. I really appreciate it x x

OP’s posts: |

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