Work related stress/anxiety

(24 Posts)
KirstyP0594 Mon 12-Oct-20 23:59:00

I think I am experiencing work related stress/anxiety. I dread going into the office every single day to the point where I don’t even feel I can get out of bed in the morning and feel physically sick. Once I am at work I feel so overwhelmed with the work and want to cry, the work is extremely stressful for me (I work in a logistics company) and to add to things I have only been working in this job for 4 months! It doesn’t help that when I ask for help at work nobody seems to want to help me! I have been feeling like this for weeks and weeks now and I have tried talking to my parents and even cried to my boyfriend about it multiple times and they are supportive but don’t fully understand the way I’m feeling, my Dad says I am lucky to have a job at the moment which I totally agree with but I can never stop thinking about work and everybody has told me I’m not myself at the moment. I’m finding it difficult to eat due to feeling so anxious and have to force my food down which is something I never do. I am desperately trying to find a new job but during these times I am finding it quite difficult. I’m currently awake because I am up worrying about the day ahead tomorrow and I don’t think I can take another day of it! My boyfriend is worried as he feels it is taking a toll on our relationship as I’m so unhappy, I just don’t know what to do! We also would like to start to ttc but with the way I am feeling at the moment I don’t feel I can!

Please could somebody give me some advice, I feel like I am at breaking point right now and desperately need to talk to someone 😢

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rainbowninja Tue 13-Oct-20 00:03:23

Hey OP, just to say I really feel for you, dreading going to work each day must be awful. Have you told your manager how you are feeling?

KirstyP0594 Tue 13-Oct-20 00:13:20

@rainbowninja I haven’t said anything to him no, I work in a really small company and feel that if I tell him this he will think I’m not up to the job or think I’m being dramatic. I also don’t feel very comfortable talking to my colleagues as I work in an all-male office so I have found it a little difficult to fit in as well as I am not used to working with just men. I am trying so hard every day to try and power through but I feel like it’s becoming harder and harder.

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Emancipated Tue 13-Oct-20 00:19:14

You should speak to your GP. Perhaps you could be signed off for a short while and get some R&R. Also self refer to local mental heath team for some support. There’s lots of support out there for anxiety and stress.
You could check out some apps or a stress workbook (Amazon). Most importantly keep talking about it and do something. You can’t just power through this. You need to take action.

PM me if you want to chat more. I have been there several times before. 💐

KirstyP0594 Tue 13-Oct-20 00:37:38

@Emancipated thank you for the advice! Perhaps I will try and make an appointment with my GP, I just really didn’t want to feel like a failure to everybody, I was so happy when I first got this job but now 4 months on I wish I had never taken it 😢

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Emancipated Tue 13-Oct-20 08:49:31

Your mental health is not about failing. You need to look after yourself as a priority. Please seek some help before it gets worse.

Are there any work adjustments that could be made such as a reduction in hours?

CoatesCat Tue 13-Oct-20 09:02:38

Please be kind to yourself. Not every job is perfectly balanced amount of work and responsibilities. The fact you are struggling does not mean you are failing. A good manager should be supporting you and your colleagues should be helping the new person. I have been doing my job six years and had exactly the same issue over summer. It wasn't that I had got bad at my job overnight rather that the workload increased to intolerable levels. In my case I used my works health plan to fund cbt therapy as a long term plan but also spoke to my gp and got a low dose of anxiety/antindepressent. Sometimes you just need to break the cycle of having a bad day at work, worrying about it all night and then not performing as well as you can the next day. This worked for me but it might not be the solution for you. It might just be the case this job is rubbish. That's not a reflection on you. You are obviously trying and care about doing a good job

rainbowninja Tue 13-Oct-20 10:43:42

Hope you're having an ok day OP. Sounds like a combination of the work and the environment is getting you down if you don't feel comfortable there?

You're not letting anyone down by feeling this way, in fact it's your own wisdom sending you distress flares to tell you that something isn't right!

Don't worry about disappointing anyone else just do what's right for you.

WeAllHaveWings Tue 13-Oct-20 12:31:08

4 months is very early and it is completely normal to feel overwhelmed in a new job learning everyday, worried you get it wrong, and getting to know your new work colleagues. I have always hated new jobs and found things start to click into place around 6-8 months in.

The important thing is you feel supported to learn, and are allowed to (occasionally) make mistakes when learning and you have somewhere to go if you need to ask for support. Have a chat with your line manager, say if you need some support but don't say you find it hard to talk to men - you need to work that one out yourself. Could you ask your line manager to allocate one of your willing colleagues to you as a mentor/point for help to get you through the initial learning period?

KirstyP0594 Tue 13-Oct-20 18:18:45

@Emancipated Yes you are completely right, unfortunately they can’t reduce my hours as the job is so high pressured I quite often have to stay after hours to help out where we get so busy in the late afternoons.

@CoatesCat thank you, that makes me feel a lot better, it’s nice to know that I’m not the only person who has gone through this. I unfortunately didn’t have much training when I first started, the guy who trained me has now moved to a different side of the business and I feel as though I am just expected to know everything now which adds to the stress I’m feeling every day!

@rainbowninja it has been ok thank you, was hard to force myself to go this morning and couldn’t wait to get out of the door! You are right, the job really isn’t for me and I honestly couldn’t imagine working there for any longer than I have to, I feel it is dragging me down and I’m no longer interested in the things that I used to enjoy as I feel so down and stressed out all of the time.

@weallhavewings I should really talk to them yes I suppose I am just afraid of what they will think. The only person who could possibly mentor me is the guy who used to do what I am doing, but he has now moved to another part of the business and seems quite happy to be away from the job that I’m doing if that makes sense. I feel as though it’s all been thrown onto me to be honest.

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rainbowninja Tue 13-Oct-20 18:58:28

I remember a job years ago I realised quite quickly that I didn't like. I didn't have enough confidence to recognise that the job was inherently stressful and it wasn't just me. With hindsight I wish I had either moved on quicker or raised concerns. On the plus side the people were quite nice and it ended up being a stepping stone to another job which I did like.

I know it's easy to say with hindsight but I wasted a lot of energy worrying that I was getting it wrong when it was the company at fault. Don't be afraid to either cut your losses or raise your concerns. It's easy to feel indebted to an employer that has taken you on and it's great you want to do your best but not at the cost of your mental health.

Babyroobs Tue 13-Oct-20 23:46:44

I've been feeling the same. I work with the laziest bunch of colleagues and the team leader makes excuses for them and blames me for working at a faster pace than the others. The truth is most of them would never survive in a normal work environment. I really am ready to blow my top and emailed boss today to say I was taking a sick day due to stress and will speak to him later in the week.

KirstyP0594 Tue 13-Oct-20 23:57:40

@rainbowninja you are right I think I need to move on, I have been applying for lots and lots of jobs but finding it difficult at the moment as there aren’t many jobs about due to the pandemic and so many businesses struggling and people losing their jobs, it almost makes me feel bad for wanting another one! But I know I can’t stay there as it is only going to get worse, and I don’t want to feel this way any more.

@Babyroobs Oh I’m so sorry you are also going through this sad well done you for taking some action! I wish I could take a sick day for this reason or even just some annual leave but every time I want some time off I’m not able to have it as somebody else always seems to be off and we are not allowed to leave the office short, so I would feel guilty and like everybody would be annoyed at me if I took a sick day!

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Kitchencomposter Wed 14-Oct-20 13:54:40

Same here.. I've been in my job longer but from day 1 knew I'd made a terrible mistake taking it. Tried to get another job but I didn't want to go from frying pan into fire so was very cautious and only applied for jobs which I felt were the right fit and here i am, still in the job and since covid it's been a very difficult time looking for a new job. I have very reactive managers who simply don't communicate so i can be waiting weeks to get an answer to a query on a job they've asked me to do, even chasing several times; most times i don't get an answer at all and the job or project just sits there, never completed. For a person like myself who works pro-actively it's soul destroying and totally demotivating, and you feel that they consider you to have no worth and are disrespected. I have never in all my career worked in such a challenging environment to the point where it causes mental and physical health issues. No one to talk to about this either...

goodjoujou Wed 14-Oct-20 16:25:51

I'm so sorry you are going through this-work anxiety is awful as I know only too well. Is there any chance you could reach out by email to the guy who used to do your job if he is still within the company? Perhaps he might help/give advice (by email) if there is something you are really finding tricky?

Please don't just stuggle on if you are totally miserable and anxious. I did and eventually ended up in such a state I had to go on medication and take time off. I know it's difficult to approach people at work especially if you haven't formed a bond with anyone, but much better that you try to deal with this early. If your employer isn't willing to listen and support you whilst you are still learning then you will feel even more justified in looking for another role and know that you did everyting you could.

KirstyP0594 Wed 14-Oct-20 19:58:34

@Kitchencomposter I feel exactly the same as you! I feel the company I work for is a bit of a shambles to be honest and feel they wouldn’t even understand if I was to tell them how stressed this is making me and affecting my mental health! My thing is I really care about doing a good job and making a good impression but I feel it’s impossible at the moment!

@goodjoujou I work within a very small company so we are all in a tiny office together, I do try and ask the guy for help but where he has other responsibilities now he isn’t really able to help me much. The work is just piling on day by day and I just feel out of my depth now. Today has been an extremely stressful day at work and I think my colleagues may be starting to see this in me now, I almost cried in the office today. I want to take a sick day but we have a person out of the office until next week and we are only allowed one person off at any time so I would feel so guilty.

I am planning on trying to get an appointment with the doctor for next week, although not sure if they are seeing patients due to COVID but suppose I will find out. I am also applying for jobs every day to give me the biggest chance of getting out of there as soon as I possibly can as I know I can’t take it anymore and is only going to get worse.

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goodjoujou Wed 14-Oct-20 20:48:23

Speaking to your Doctor is a good idea. I had a phone appointment last week with my GP-hopefully your surgery are doing the same. Try not to feel guilty if you need to take a day-it’s so important you take care of yourself. I’m sure if you keep looking you will find something much better soon. There are definitely still opportunities out there!

KirstyP0594 Wed 14-Oct-20 22:31:06

@goodjoujou I think it is best yeah as they should be able to help me. Oh really, hopefully they will be able to do the same for me! I just want to feel like myself again, I feel like a shadow of who I used to be. Yes I do hope so I am going to continue looking as much as I possibly can and I’m hopeful something will come up.

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rainbowninja Sat 17-Oct-20 15:39:17

Hope you're doing ok @KirstyP0594 I feel for anyone stuck in a job they don't like right now X

KirstyP0594 Sat 17-Oct-20 17:32:09

@rainbowninja I am okay thank you now that it’s the weekend, trying to make myself feel a bit better haha! It’s not nice right now as it really does feel like I’m stuck especially with what is going on in the world right now!

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nighttrains Sat 17-Oct-20 17:34:32

As others have said you do need to see your GP, that and get another job if you can

Cooltalkin Sat 17-Oct-20 17:41:42

It is not ur concern how many people are in the office or out of it . If you are sick you are sick whether that is with a broken leg or anxiety . So if you need time off then get signed off and work will manage .

Cooltalkin Wed 21-Oct-20 19:30:07

Any better this week ?
How r u getting on. ?

KirstyP0594 Mon 26-Oct-20 21:58:17

@Cooltalkin so sorry I have only just seen this. I’m still feeling exactly the same, if not worse. I haven’t managed to see or speak to my GP as I almost feel worried to take time off because I have to leave all of my work and that in a way adds to the way I’m feeling. My family have been telling me I need time off work so I’m going to try and put some annual leave in, but all I can think about at the moment is finding another job so that I can leave there for good. I have applied for around 20 jobs this evening so I am hoping that I hear something back this week!

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