How to manage colleagues your friends with

(7 Posts)
tortillachipsanddips Wed 23-Sep-20 23:40:33

I work in a small team of 4 plus manager and I got on really well with the other two women, we are have kids similar ages. However our manager left and I was promoted into her role. I have never really managed a team and now I have the difficulty of managing people I consider friends who tell me everything. So last week I assigned a task to one of them and asked them to complete by Monday and they have not done it but they are going through a lot at home, and whilst I am sympathetic and care, I also need her to complete the tasks assigned otherwise I need to juggle her work and mine. The other women had a lot of sickness but doesn't take a sick day, just does her hours later etc but I don't know if she does as they have never been set up with timesheets - we are senior enough to not need one really.

I don't really know how to move the relationship into a friend one to a manger role?
Any advice greatly appreciated xx

OP’s posts: |
Carrrs Wed 23-Sep-20 23:44:24


tortillachipsanddips Thu 24-Sep-20 13:27:36


OP’s posts: |
PuggyMum Thu 24-Sep-20 13:36:55

I think you should ask them how they want you to manage them.

Suggest they tell you when they will have things done by and if this goes beyond your requirements ask what else is on their pad that can be pushed back / reassigned.

If working remotely, a daily check in teams call etc should prompt them to provide tangible updates.

It's a softly softly approach at first but they need to know you're the boss.

PuggyMum Thu 24-Sep-20 13:39:06

Do you have review meetings as their line manager?

Make it clear these are for 'work discussions' only as you are conscious the waters could muddy and want to be a fair manager.

BooFuckingHoo2 Thu 24-Sep-20 20:43:57

“X we really needed Y by Z date, is there a reason it couldn’t be done in the agreed timescale”

X will probably say they have personal issues etc. then you say

“I understand, but we really needed to get it completed for XYZ reason or ABC will/could happen, is there anything I can do to support you going forward”

Put the suggested support in place (if possible) and request they check in with status updates for future work. Go from there.

tortillachipsanddips Fri 25-Sep-20 10:40:47

Hi yes I do have review discussions and when I need things by a certain date I do email with requirement and ask for a time to discuss progress but it's so hard to support someone who is good but doesn't really deliver to time or what I need

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