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Saying I'm gay when I'm not

(61 Posts)
FoxtrotOscar20 Mon 17-Aug-20 06:14:22

I am actively seeking a new job, and not getting an interview. More than one person has suggested I say I am gay on the form to get a guaranteed interview. Is this a thing? Really?
I would rather not lie to get a job, but people obviously do do this
AIBU to just be myself, or is it everyman for himself out there, and I should do it to get a foot in the door?

I'm genuinely interested in opinions

OP’s posts: |
OverTheHandlebars Mon 17-Aug-20 06:20:20

Why would being gay get you an interview?? I have never seen that hmm

spaghettihoops16 Mon 17-Aug-20 06:20:41

Lies escalate and eventually, always catch up with you. Are you really prepared to live the life of a lie?

Perhaps take another look at your CV, appearance or the type of job role your seeking?

WhatwouldRuthdo Mon 17-Aug-20 06:23:12

Of course it’s not a thing. If you are not getting an interview, make sure your application forms are clearly addressing each of the required criteria, concisely providing examples of how you meet the competency or have gained the experience.

AdriannaP Mon 17-Aug-20 06:27:23

Don’t be ridiculous!
What next? You are pretending to have a minority background?

I can assure you that I have never seen it on a CV and no serious employer would hire someone on the basis of their sexuality.

Chapellass Mon 17-Aug-20 06:32:50

Why would being gay get you an interview?

That kind of question is relevant at recruitment stage for data to be analysed for attraction stats (along with gender, ethnicity). The answers don't go to the person selecting candidates for interview.

Later on it might be passed (depending on GDPR permissions on original form) to HR for stats but more likely they would recollect when you complete HR joining / on boarding forms.

I think the people you are talking to sound pretty ignorant and arguably homophobic.

I'd find some other more knowledgeable people to talk to and ask them to take a critical pen to your CV / forms. Also consider if you are applying for jobs where the ask is aligned to your experience.

Good luck it is a very tough job market.

ivfdreaming Mon 17-Aug-20 06:42:17

I don't think it's as crazy as it sounds I know many companies mine included that are talking about diversity targets for HR

If you are a white heterosexual male then I imagine at some point you may suffer from these policies

It wouldn't hurt to send in 2 identical CVs but with "certain" differences and see what happens? You can always then try a claim against them for discrimination if the more "diverse" you gets an interview

RoseAndRose Mon 17-Aug-20 06:43:07

Is this a thing? Really?


It's an unusual form of homophobia, which is seeing (non-existent) unfair perks.

It's not relevant to most jobs, but may be preferred or required in some specialist (usually support worker) areas.

bluesoup1 Mon 17-Aug-20 06:46:33


*Is this a thing? Really?*


It's an unusual form of homophobia, which is seeing (non-existent) unfair perks.

It's not relevant to most jobs, but may be preferred or required in some specialist (usually support worker) areas.

They're essentially saying "pull the gay card" as if it's a "card" us queer folk can use to our advantage.
I agree in the case of support roles but 99% of jobs it won't make a bit of difference.

EdithWeston Mon 17-Aug-20 06:49:21

I've seen forms asking about quite a bit of demographic data, but never sexuality (trying to think what options they'd need to include opif it was a drop down box!).

It is of course wrong to lie in an application to secure advantage. For some employers it's a sacking offence, others disciplinary, and it does call your integrity into question. It's a pretty bad start to a new position.

The advice above on how to improve your CV (or pre-prepared answers for online form) and write a better covering letter are sound. Everyone needs theirs reviewing from time to time.

Cam2020 Mon 17-Aug-20 06:51:22

I wouldn't feel comfortable lying. Also, they might just think you're a bit odd or inappropriate to be mentioning sexuality on your application.

Mandatorymongoose Mon 17-Aug-20 06:53:05

There is the disability confident scheme which companies can sign up to. Under that they would guarantee an interview to anyone who met minimum requirements and had a disability.
Maybe your friends got confused and thought it was any sort of protected characteristic?

gingerbeerandlemonade Mon 17-Aug-20 06:54:08

Where would you even put that in a job application? I've never been asked my sexual orientation on a form. A ridiculous idea and as others said even if it did ask you and you did get the job, you'd then be living a lie or always wondering if you got the job because you had said you were gay. Really curious as to where you'd put this information.

OnTheWheelOfLife Mon 17-Aug-20 06:57:29

No, no one does this. When I’ve been hiring I’ve never seen this and I would ignore it, I don’t care about someone’s sexuality, just how good they are for the job.

To pretend is a horrendous idea. And utterly selfish. Please do not do this.

KatherineJaneway Mon 17-Aug-20 07:00:35

No, it's not a thing.

Much better to look at your CV etc. What type of jobs are you looking for and in what industry?

Chocforthewin Mon 17-Aug-20 07:01:10

Sexual orientation is on majority of official job applications, police, fire services, most government sectors. It does have a box saying 'prefer not to say' but it's on majority of applications. Shocked people haven't seen them, am sure even NHS online applications do.
I've previously worked in the police force - not going to say which police force understandably but there was a common belief that if you 'ticked' some boxes so to speak that you would be certified an interview.
Don't risk it OP. It will come out later on & you can get done for misleading information on an application form.
You will get the job you want, keep pushing 💪🏻

FoxtrotOscar20 Mon 17-Aug-20 07:03:16

@adriannap. It's just a check box on the form to say what sexual orientation you are.
I am not going to pretend I'm gay, but have been astounded at people who suggest it to fullfil their criteria of minorities

OP’s posts: |
suggestionsplease1 Mon 17-Aug-20 07:07:28

Anyone who does this has no integrity and they have undermined their credibility with the company from the get go.

KetoPenguin Mon 17-Aug-20 07:10:28

Sounds like the premise for a sitcom. You'd have to live a double life at work,talking about your fake girlfriends and meeting guys in secret hoping no one from work saw you.

FoxtrotOscar20 Mon 17-Aug-20 07:12:20

@ivfdreaming yes, this is what I mean. I am applying for uniformed jobs, and folk have said, My daughter/son have said they are gay to try to get into the police after being rejected once before, and then they are getting the job. Maybe it's an urban myth!
And no, I wasn't planning on doing it, I just wondered if it was A Thing that's all

OP’s posts: |
Minimonkeysmum Mon 17-Aug-20 07:12:24

If you applied for a role where I work, the recruiting manager would never see that information - it's for HR only, so there really wouldn't be any point.

Ginfilledcats Mon 17-Aug-20 07:14:08

If you're not getting Any interviews it's because your application needs work not because you're straight

Cam2020 Mon 17-Aug-20 07:15:29

It's just a check box on the form to say what sexual orientation you are.

Oh I see. I have come across this form many years ago when I temped for the local council. It was used for stat compilation on equal opps, rather than filling quotas so I don't know that it would improve anyone's jances but could get pretty sticky for someone who lied.

ivfdreaming Mon 17-Aug-20 07:17:31


Yes this is also the same for religion.
I know many companies are going to be bringing in more aggressive diversity targets - i sit on a group at my company discussing just that - and it will ensure there more diverse people are invited to interviews

Spaceshiphaslanded Mon 17-Aug-20 07:20:10

Don’t do this and I hope it’s not a thing, sadly I suspect there are probably mire employers who will screen you out for this rather than get you the interview. @KetoPenguin I’m gay and have had fake boyfriends at work 😂 it’s a PITA. I don’t recommend to anyone!!!

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