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Going to hand my notice in, maybe, possibly I dunno

(23 Posts)
completetheform Mon 08-Jun-20 18:12:45

SO I'm a lone parent, one stroppy teenager, one year six gamer. Ex isn't in the picture and I've got no friends.

I'm going to list the irritations I have atm.

My line manager is, well here's a list of recent things

During a meeting last week, when I was addressed directly by name. He answered the question incorrectly. When I got a word in edge-ways I gave the status update. When I asked why he did that, patronised me by saying "well, I thought I'd help you" (I would say this occurs nearly every meeting)

Frequently, tells other managers incorrect information which has a direct impact on my work, which has to be corrected.

Give's farcical time scales as to when work will be done.

Redirected invoices, until an auditor found them and cancelled with immediate effect the third party supplier, with no provision for training of the other team members who were to take on this work. So we're now in effect 2 FTE's down.

Does not pass down management meetings (Steercos we call them) decisions from senior management, which directly impacts work.

On a personal level, likes to refer to his one child as "the kids" and that his wife isn't doing anything at home (very untrue).

I'm matrix managed so he's overloaded a load of work so I can't do the other work from other managers, but doesn't tell me he's told the other managers that he's reorganised my work and then BS as to why the work hasn't got done.

He stopped a sideways move for me to get away from him, by saying I was too critical for the work (AKA I'm his dogsbody)

Another team member who is at the same level as me, is a sulky primadonna, this mornings meeting he had a strop about a label because he wasn't using them. So the work had to be unwound so that it doesn't have labels (until he thinks of one).

This one thinks its fun to not to talkto his wife and like to laugh about how it winds his wife up. Again at this mornings meeting complained vigorously , that he had to support his wife over the weekend because (she's a primary head) her school is going back, so he couldn't do his own stuff.

I don't really know how to explain this next bit. We have another third party supplier who is taking over the work from the other supplier because they said they are experts in the work. Except that the certificates supplied that show's they are "invalid". This is causing me some real problems, because a couple of months ago I said that they didn't have the skills. Suddenly this certification appears.

The bottom line is that I've lost all faith in the company i work for, their management abilities (If I get told one more time - I don't need to know their decisions).

Like all of you working from home, trying to manage the children, with zero help, its getting too much. I sort have stopped caring about the job and it may be a really big struggle without it and be really problematic in the short term - but not having to deal with these people anymore would make me feel much better.

I'm chatting with a senior manager tomorrow morning about all of this, the "bent" certs, the dodgy invoicing, but I feel that there will be some real weaselling from my manager and his manager. I have zero trust in them. I have been advised to proceed with caution over the dodgy certification, a paranoid part of me thinks I'm being set up to look like a bitter racist (its an Indian 3rd party supplier) as I seem to be the only person who reports on their poor quality work. And now I think like this as I have absolutely no believe or trust in the workplace machinations.

In many respects I'm venting because I have no one to vent to and 99% of me feels like I should just tough this out. But the last 1% voice is becoming stronger by the day.

I don't know how to resolve this because I've just completed year five of the same old, same old. And I know from past experience if I bring this stuff up it will result in some major sulks, accusations and strops and nothing improves.

I dunno what's your thoughts?

OP’s posts: |
Turnedouttoes Mon 08-Jun-20 18:20:31

Well I think your decision will need to be based on whether or not you have the funds saved to survive without a job? If not then would now be a good time to get your CV in order and start looking for a new job? I’m going to start this this week as I imagine it’ll be a lot easier to attend interviews while working from home (especially video ones) without keep having to have excuses for leaving the office.

Obviously this does depend on what the job market is like near you and for your field but I’ve seen loads of new adverts coming up on LinkedIn over the past couple of weeks so in my industry it does seem to be picking up again

CloudsCanLookLikeSheep Mon 08-Jun-20 18:31:30

You need to get out. I am in a similar boat, micromanaging manager who does my head in, I was trying to move before Covid, have now been furloughed. If they don't make me redundant first, I'm leaving as soon as the market picks up (not yet in my field) . Once you lose faith in your manager there's usually only one way it can be resolved and that's by leaving. It's not the best timing though is it!!

Dozer Mon 08-Jun-20 18:32:16

What is your plan job / money wise?

completetheform Mon 08-Jun-20 19:47:50

I haven't formulated a plan and I HAVE NOT handed my notice in yet.

First step, redo ancient cv.

I think I need to take a few days off as I don't think I can handle another day of workplace gaslighting.

I keep on thinking of more things I can add to the list above. Like five years of never having training signed off and the 3k in training budget "clawed" back every year. On top of that 10K's worth of complementary training for other team members was sat on until it expired.

Being talked over or talked at while I'm doing KT sessions.

Tomorrows meeting, I know what will be said to me. Lots of agreement about how poor this manager is, how poor his manager is. How I'm being mismanaged and my skills not being used effectively.

And absolutely zero will come of it.

Thank you everyone for understanding, bottom line I need to get back on the job market and get out.

OP’s posts: |
completetheform Mon 08-Jun-20 23:43:33

Another thing about this manager and I don't know if anyone can give me an indication about this behaviour. He FYI's me in on things like sitting on training budget or invoices. Or that's he's completely ballsed up a supplier engagement to the tune of 5k.

And says things like "This is MY money" - it's not its set by the finance department in our annual budget. To the point that these companies engage debt collection. And it costs us more in fees.

We loose loads of cash on projects because he's too spineless to deal with the actual cost of things. Things like engaging a support company on a fixed monthly cost and then not giving them work to do. And yet his boss is equally spineless in tackling issues like this.

As I said I'm "looped" in on all of this and it beggars belief

OP’s posts: |
blueshoes Tue 09-Jun-20 00:01:11

Your manager sounds ghastly and incompetent and the company's management weak and clueless.

Yes, plan to leave but in these times, try to get another job first.

At least if you have in your head an end game, it might make it more bearable to wait this out a little longer. But leaving is the right thing - the company and your boss is a basket case.

completetheform Tue 09-Jun-20 07:40:17

Just as I was going to bed last night (and yes I've had a sleepless night going over this), I went to get a book instead of a novel I ended up picking up Lundy Bancroft's book (I have it because Ex) and it started to make me think, that it would be an excellent management training book. When you think about the amount of gaslighting, "you don't need to know about that" to "get on and do what your told".

I'm overly tired atm and another day of trying to run two separate curriculum for two kids who no longer see the point and I think have some form of lockdown anomic response on top of reliving my own DV experiences have put me in a difficult place.

I'm going to try to face another day of being talked at and talked over, dealing with petulant manchildren and mankarens (what would be the male equvalent tame because it needs to be taken back).

Unfortunately, I'm stating to think that the Berlin wall that I've erected to segregate the work life balance is about to come crumbling down.

This is just an early morning ramble and vent because I'm overly tired and its the same old same old of lockdown work from home, school from home and I've got to make my own cup of tea.

Thanks for understanding

OP’s posts: |
Dozer Tue 09-Jun-20 10:55:41

Would analyse your options and make a plan and in the meantime just do what you can at work and seek ways to “detach” from daily annoyances.

CMMum88 Tue 09-Jun-20 11:06:49

I had an incompetent manager and it wears you down. She was an information withholder too and we would frequently do hours of work to find out that it was unnecessary or things would happen and we would be totally unprepared. She quit and thank god for that, or I would have.

BigBairyHollocks Tue 09-Jun-20 11:25:21

Sounds more like you need signed off with work related stress. It sounds bloody awful.

Babyroobs Tue 09-Jun-20 13:57:44

I've lost faith in my manager, hypocritical and I suspect lying to his team to cover his own back. I am looking for other jobs.

completetheform Sat 13-Jun-20 05:41:38

thanks ppl for listening and i feel for you if you're in a similar situation.

So yesterday, I joined the team meeting and my manager started this passive aggressive conversation about looming redundancies, Asking if I'd heard any gossip. I'd forgotten completely about this, internally I thought "yey! hope its me, its what I need to galvanise me to get another job".

So he asks me how I feel about it and I say, not bothered, what do I stand to loose? An Income? I can get another one of those. Inside I'm thinking "hooray - I'll never see you again"

Sorry a bit of a cocky attitude, but it slipped out. In I'm sorry for people who something like redundancy or loosing a job is super scary.

Bit like when I found out the ex was screwing around and I felt "yay! the fker will leave me", no such luck, like my boss, they never let go of a dogsbody who tidies up after them.

OP’s posts: |
CloudsCanLookLikeSheep Sat 13-Jun-20 05:54:50

I get you completely. I'm currently furloughed and dreading going back to my awful boss. If they make me redundant it will be one hell of a consolation prize!

jsfans Sat 13-Jun-20 06:21:29

I thinking of doing the same thing I've been furloughed on allot less pay and realised I don't need the amount I was getting.
This whole situation has made me realise how much of a useless unthought full idiot my boss is so I've got another job lined up.

PlanDeRaccordement Sat 13-Jun-20 06:35:52

Don’t leave this job until you find another job.
Incomes are needed and not always so easy to replace.
You sound fairly young so must not have been in workforce during any of the past recessions where unemployment skyrocketed and jobs were hard to come by.

CloudsCanLookLikeSheep Sat 13-Jun-20 08:47:13


Don’t leave this job until you find another job.
Incomes are needed and not always so easy to replace.
You sound fairly young so must not have been in workforce during any of the past recessions where unemployment skyrocketed and jobs were hard to come by.

And this recession will make the global financial crisis look like a teddybears' picnic by all accounts!

Turnedouttoes Sat 13-Jun-20 10:07:16

Seriously we are not even close to seeing the destruction of the jobs market that coronavirus is going to do. The second half of this year will be when the shit really hits the fan and there will be widespread redundancies. You might think this is a good thing to happen to you but how much would a payout be if anything? And can you sustain yourself if you can’t find another job for 6 months - a year?

I’d love to leave my job and find another one but joining a new company now is extremely risky if you’ve been at your current company over 2 years. I know of a lot of people who handed in their notice at the beginning of lockdown and now find themselves in the position of having their offers withdrawn or put on hold so within weeks they’ll be without any job at all.

completetheform Sat 13-Jun-20 11:38:45

I'm sorry some people felt hurt by my trivial statements about redundancy. It was endeavouring to match the passive abusive behaviour of my boss to that of personal experience of dealing with passive aggressive quasi abusive entitled man.

Thanks to furlough there will be massive redundancy's at my place as it's shown the board that we can maintain and increase profits with much less staff, to be precise we've furlough 1/6th and we still have capacity to launch new products and services to market. Which are being consumed and our customers serviced efficiently and market research shows we are ahead of the competition and have greater consumer trust

Also our strategic partner has reduced costs in order to keep our custom, so we are heading into the recession well placed to maintain and increase dividends to shareholders and institutional investors.

Under normal circumstances we have a three year strategic recession plan for maintenance with a shallower profit curve and Covid-19 with furlough within 6 weeks accelerated that to the 18 month point of our strategic plan.

What this has shown (an I'm one of those people processing the numbers) is that we we're over staffed. Increased staffing was caused by the talent loss paranoia brought on by the changes to immigration. And its an opportunity to get rid of lippy sods like me.

Another factor is that WFH has greatly reduced out indirect costs, moving call centres out to home work has shown that we can greatly reduce our property costs, again, decreasing our payments as we were lucky as our lease renegotiations are just about due, four large buildings in three locations.

I do understand jobloss is a terrible fear, my ex's behaviours caused me to loose a number of jobs over the years and I've always been the primary provider (and caregiver) and I've lived though that abject fear of not being able to pay the bills and having to do the ring arounds to keep the wolves from the door.

I learnt a lot and juggled multiple jobs to pay the debts that my ex would accumulate - that was a shock after separation realising I was never responsible for anothers debt. I certainly toughened up which has sounded hurtful because I was frivolous about redundancy (which was ancillary to my primary point which I got across badly) and again I apologise. Sadly, my personal circumstances have made me very phlegmatic/sanguine/meh! about my work circumstances.

OP’s posts: |
completetheform Sat 13-Jun-20 11:47:04

you know what we should have done with furlough, is put all of the furloughed on skills courses and plan to diversify (we have scope to) using those people. Unfortunately, senior staff have a fear of training as they believe the trained will immediately jump ship to our competitors. I've argued a lot against that policy as I believe a well trained and supported workforce will be motivated to achieve great things for the people who gave them those skills.

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completetheform Sat 13-Jun-20 11:51:54

btw its not an actual policy its firmly held opinion of vocal board members

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moreofthegreenstuff Sat 13-Jun-20 12:09:36

You sound like you really know what you are talking about to me. Are you keeping a trail of all these things? I don't just mean keeping emails, I mean copying them and storing them under other filenames elsewhere. On one occasion I found it useful to have actually printed out some evidence and kept it in my desk. That was the day they got the IT bods to lock me out of the system. I went to the owner of the business with a folder in my hand and could prove to him what had been going on. I handed in my resignation at the same time. It intereste him greatly to discover that the firm of management consultants (that his son had engaged) were trying to strong-arm me into falsifying the VAT returns, by insisting that they were right about a technicality - they were wrong but wouldn't listen to me. If it had been a few quid I'd have let it go, but it wasn't, it was tens of thousands.

MrsSimples Sun 14-Jun-20 22:28:53

No advice but I empathise with you. Sounds really dreadful your workplace.
I was planning on leaving my job due to incompetent management too and being treated as the Hoover.. but nowhere as bad as yours. You should keep records of the dodgy stuff. I dont know what sort of industry you are in but mine is burning cash; I can't take the risk of leaving without a job to go to (although I contemplate it daily and right now sunday night fear). between a hard and rock place. I have had an interview and another next week but I dont think it would go anywhere as there is a hiring freeze everywhere or the manager wants to hire but needs to wait and see... and I'm up against overqualified unemployed candidates who can start immediately.
I'm considering retraining entirely but I dont know in what but that's for another thread I guess.

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