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Accidentally googled something rude on work computer...

(24 Posts)
bfordmama Fri 22-May-20 13:47:54

Okay so I'm such an idiot. Today is my day off, wasn't even supposed to be working today. Higher education teacher currently WFH, decided to log into remote desktop on my home laptop and get ahead for next week with a bit of work. In the background my partner is watching a documentary about sex on Netflix. Person on doc starts talking about BDSM and 'Rule 34' - my partner and I are like wtf is that, asking questions. So I without thinking and being very naive, open a new tab and googled 'what is rule 34?" and 'difference between sadism and masochism'. Then I learned what Rule 34 was (google it) so obviously me and my partner were curious and said 'whats the most random thing you can think of?" and I look out the window and go 'um, I wonder if someone has ever done porn with a tree?".

So I bloody googled on my REMOTE desktop for a college 'man has sex with tree". Nothing comes up, only innocent pages, no porn (obviously know now its because my college desktop has a filter on rude content) but the penny still hadn't dropped so I said, 'that's odd' and tried different variations like 'person has sex with tree' and 'tree porn' and even just the words 'Pornhub' because no adult websites were coming up and I was confused. It was on the last search that I noticed the blue remote desktop bar at the top and my stomach fell out of my body. I didn't click anything, just searched. I'm so annoyed at myself!!! My question is, am I completely f*cked? Half term is tomorrow, maybe it will slide. Will there be someone monitoring it right now? I'm still in my probation, I'm literally I am literally staring at my phone waiting for it to ring. Imagine this is why I get fired. Should I come clean to my manager? How should I play this? Helpppp I promise I'm not a deviant sad

AmyFl Fri 22-May-20 18:51:16

I don't think anyone routinely monitors your search history do they?!

AmyFl Fri 22-May-20 18:54:29

If anyone does comment I would just tell the truth- you say it was your day off and you opened the laptop and forgot it was your work laptop. It really is best just to come clean with these things, we all make mistakes. Your searches were funny btw.

FourPlasticRings Fri 22-May-20 18:56:24

Oh, OP! Sorry but 😂

I'm sure it'll be fine. The guys from IT might give you some funny looks though.

PegasusReturns Fri 22-May-20 18:57:50

My very relaxed company track and log this.

You wouldn’t get a telling off, in fact you’d probably never know we knew but it might be pulled out if needed in future.

PegasusReturns Fri 22-May-20 18:58:43

When I say “this” I mean porn and other undesirable related searches

toomanyplants Fri 22-May-20 18:59:00

You really do learn something new every day.
Rule 34 was today for me!

Sweettea1 Fri 22-May-20 19:00:35

Surely they don't check your search history unless there is a reason todo so.

SinisterBumFacedCat Fri 22-May-20 19:01:03

grin thanks Op!

Yes they will think you are a tree pervert. Imagine if that actually was a thing? The SPLINTERS!!!

Tiredmum100 Fri 22-May-20 19:04:05

My dh works in IT he says if you didn't click a link it shouldn't be flagged.

borntobequiet Fri 22-May-20 19:07:44

You work in HE? Gosh.

FourPlasticRings Fri 22-May-20 20:18:17

You work in HE? Gosh.

Horticultural deviants come in all shapes and sizes, you know.

(Again, sorry OP grin)

MrTumbleTumble Fri 22-May-20 20:24:31

I think it depends what type of firewall is on the computer. Sorry to say this OP but our IT guy gets an email everytime someone tries to access a site that is blocked by our filter.

I know this because a colleague of mine had to have a stern word with a staff member who tried to access porn when he was alone in the office on a night shift envy (<- not envy).

Having said that, I agree with PP that say come clean. If I were your manager I'd laugh and tell you not to do it again and that would be the end of it.

Try not to worry too much flowers

Icequeen01 Fri 22-May-20 20:26:48

Where I work an alert is sent to our Head Teacher if certain words are searched. The word sex or porn would definitely trigger an alert!

bfordmama Fri 22-May-20 20:27:39

Thanks everyone blush such an idiot! I wouldn’t even mind if it were regular porn (might be more excusable) but the fact we were sat their laughing our heads off, trying to thing of the most bizarre porn - I stopped laughing pretty quickly confused
OH is still laughing now.

bfordmama Fri 22-May-20 20:30:11

Should I confess to my manager now or wait til the screenshot gets slid across my desk? blush I hope the fact I googled moments beforehand “what is Rule 34” proves my story sad

bfordmama Fri 22-May-20 20:32:32

Plus, the fact I was off the clock, in my own home, on my own device, in the middle of the day and didn’t click any links. Surely there’s not a case to fire me? I’m worried because I work in a educational setting they’ll string me up!

bfordmama Fri 22-May-20 20:33:41

It’s not a company laptop, it’s my laptop I was just logged into the Remote Desktop that allows me to access my files for added clarity

Inandoutthedustybluebells Fri 22-May-20 20:36:57

Do you by any chance have any teenagers in the house? Perhaps you could possibly shift the blame in the direction of a random 15 yr old.....

Aria2015 Fri 22-May-20 20:42:27

I work in IT and I don't think you have anything to worry about. Because most places of work have filters on their work issued computers that prevent inappropriate content (more to protect against viruses) it's not something that's generally monitored. Your IT helpdesk could run a report of search terms but this would only happen if someone requested it and that usually comes about because a manger suspects or knows that someone is using their computer for inappropriate purposes. I wouldn't sweat it!

Aria2015 Fri 22-May-20 20:43:28

Just saw it was your laptop but you were using your work network. Same applies to the above regardless of the device.

yorkshirecountrylass Fri 22-May-20 20:45:03

Oh OP! Honestly, I would just come clean with your manager at the earliest opportunity. As you say it is your own device during your own time, you simply tell them the truth and apologise they'll have had far worse! Work in healthcare with significant safeguarding responsibilities, when looking up specific pieces of legislation I've on more than one occasion had to do the walk of shame to the IT desk to let them know I'm working on an FGM policy so their alarm bells will be going off or putting together a domestic abuse information pack, they don't need to stage an intervention for me, you'll be fine. Cousin is a secretary and managed to get letters mixed up in a website address sending her directly to an extremist site before now her company had to inform police and explain what she'd done (she is dyslexic, it was an accident waiting to happen!). Bob your manager an email keep it friendly and low key but you just need five minutes of his/her time as you've realised you dropped a clanger and were searching personal things on work Remote Desktop then leave it to have a proper conversation. And tell your OH next time he can search it on his phone ;) !

ManualFlusherSnot Fri 22-May-20 20:49:36

Oh OP that’s so funny grin
I’m now going off to google pretty much everything you googled grin

ManualFlusherSnot Fri 22-May-20 20:56:42

closeronline.co.uk/real-life/news/reactions-closer-magazine-s-m-love-tree-s-best-sex-ve-ever/

There you go OP wink

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