NC, wasn't sure what topic to put this in but relates to a colleague so settled on work.
I became friends with an man at work after joining the company last year. He offered friendly advice as a mentor figure, and I was glad of this at first. I'm in my 20s, he's in his 60s, but he didn't give me any reason not to trust him in the early days.
After a few weeks he suggested we go down the road from the office for a coffee during lunch hours, so we could chat freely about work. I went, thinking it would be a one off. However, he then asked if I would go again a few days later, and sulked when I said I was too busy to go. He asked again, and after continued nagging I gave in. He always wanted me to hug him at the end of these lunches, but he asked in such a way that made me not think it was weird at the time, but now I feel very uneasy about it. He then asked if I could spend every lunch with him, I said no I don't have the time for that but we could go at lunch sometimes (I didn't want to come across unkind). Nevertheless, he waits by the coffee shop every lunch time and sends me continued messages asking if I am coming, and comes back to the office sulking when I ignore these messages and or no.
I see him staring at me across the office and whenever I walk past his desk he always seems to get up too, and follow me to the toilets (men's are next to the ladies). 9/10 this happens whenever I go.
At the same time, he started to send me more and more messages at any time of day. At first I would reply back, as I didn't want to come across as rude to a senior colleague at my new job. But he started to send a message every 10 minutes or so in the evening. When I don't reply he asks 'are we still friends?' And asks why I have changed.
Sometimes he sends long messages, which is where it starts to get even more creepy. saying how he's upset I've 'changed' and how he cares deeply for me. How he gets jealous when he sees me with male colleagues because he feels connected to me. He says he's never felt like this about anyone before, and wishes he was younger so he could be with me. He says I mean the world to him, and no one will ever love me like he does. He says I'm the most beautiful woman in the world and he thinks about me all the time - he sent this message while on holiday with his wife and teenage children. He said there's something about me he's never seen in another woman. he visited his parents grave and told them all about me and how special I am.
I find this overwhelming and haven't told anyone - whenever he sends these messages I ignore. We don't have a HR person so if I told my manager it would cause ripples and gossip across the organisation - he has a very important job and I may not even be believed despite screenshots.plus it may be partly my fault for leading him on by going to coffee with him and replying to his messages at first, and letting him hug me.
I feel very awkward at work but like my job in other aspects. I find extremely hard to be rude to people though, even creepy lecherous men
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.
Work
He's obsessed with me
11 replies
shiny2pence · 07/03/2020 19:48
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.