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Please tell me I did the right thing - just turned down dream job!

(23 Posts)
Waferbiscuit Fri 06-Mar-20 15:46:21

Was offered dream job in really competitive sector that I would love to take on. But......

... it would mean a house move (it's on the other side of the country) to a just okay town and taking DCs out of school who are finally settled in school. It's also slight pay drop (of 14% or 8kpa) with no opp for increase.

Collectively with the pay drop and cost of moving (I own a house, so would either rent out and rent there or have to sell), I'm not sure if I can afford it - I would be paying off the move for a while.

Am miserable as would have loved the opportunity. Am needing objective strangers to tell me that I did the right thing! I did, right?

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Isadora2007 Fri 06-Mar-20 15:47:10

For the greater good it sounds like the right choice. Sorry for your loss though.

ScrapThatThen Fri 06-Mar-20 15:49:39

Yanbu you will save your dc from a lot of risk and disruption, you made the grown up decision - there wasn't enough in it for you.

Waferbiscuit Fri 06-Mar-20 15:50:25

Thank you Scrap and Isadora. It's misery-inducing to be given what you want and not be able to take it!!

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Iggly Fri 06-Mar-20 15:52:15

Did you apply or were you head hunted? If you applied then I wonder why you turned it down as the factors you describe already existed at application?

WeirdTrees Fri 06-Mar-20 15:54:27

With the description, it doesn't actually sound like your dream job.

Marylou2 Fri 06-Mar-20 15:56:21

Would be really interested to know what sector your dream job was in? Sorry you couldn't take it but the cons seem to outweigh the pros.

Waferbiscuit Fri 06-Mar-20 15:57:26

@Iggly - I was head hunted and then applied, probably in haste. Got excited by the opportunity and thought the move could work. Sitting back had to really look at the pros and cons....

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Waferbiscuit Fri 06-Mar-20 15:58:25

@Marylou2 - in community arts.

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FizzyGreenWater Fri 06-Mar-20 15:59:58

No, I think you've done the right thing.

A job is only part of your life. Dream job only actually adds up to dream job in practice if you then love your life more. I can see dream job here turning out to be eventually resented job as when you're not actually at it, you're stuck in not-brilliant town, helping kids settle into schools in a place you'd rather not live, and having less cash. Err no.

Iggly Fri 06-Mar-20 16:01:34

Sometimes we get a spot of cold feet when the reality hits - it doesn’t mean it’s a wrong choice, it could mean that you’re scared of change.

But in your OP I think you’ve made the right call (depending on where the move is though and the age of DCs. We moved our dcs and they were fine moving schools but they were young)

Waferbiscuit Fri 06-Mar-20 16:02:19

Thanks @FizzyGreenWater - I'm a bit of a dreamer so need people to explain the REALITY of choices to me sometimes, if you see what I mean! (I am a fully functioning grown up but just veer too much towards fantasy sometimes...)

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Disfordarkchocolate Fri 06-Mar-20 16:02:46

I'd need a big pay rise to move, plus relocation expenses.

Waferbiscuit Fri 06-Mar-20 16:03:24

Sometimes we get a spot of cold feet when the reality hits - it doesn’t mean it’s a wrong choice, it could mean that you’re scared of change.

Good point, Iggly - it's always hard to discern between 'cold feet' and something not being right!

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Waferbiscuit Fri 06-Mar-20 16:04:09

@Disfordarkchocolate - what would you define as a BIG pay raise (in pds or as a %ge)?

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anotherypasswordtoremember Fri 06-Mar-20 16:06:31

Mate, sounds like you made exactly the right choice.
It wouldn't be a dream if your kids were unhappy and you struggled with money.

Treat it as really awesome confidence boost rather than a missed opportunity.

Disfordarkchocolate Fri 06-Mar-20 16:07:28

Perhaps 10-15%, especially as they asked you to apply. The move wouldn't phase me if they relocated me because it takes away the stress.

Waferbiscuit Fri 06-Mar-20 16:14:12

@Disfordarkchocolate - yes 10 to 15% up would be worth it.

I probably underestimated the costs of moving - buying and selling fees and the cost of renting in between. It can end up being 15-20k. ack.

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RB68 Fri 06-Mar-20 16:15:48

fundamentally its not the perfect job - its in the wrong place and pays the wrong salary - pretty major things on the job consideration stakes

msmith501 Fri 06-Mar-20 16:31:52

From your post OP, I can't really understand what makes it the dream job. Massive upheaval for all those you care about and for a lot less money and miles away from people you know.

Waferbiscuit Fri 06-Mar-20 16:38:51

From your post OP, I can't really understand what makes it the dream job. Massive upheaval for all those you care about and for a lot less money and miles away from people you know.

Thanks @MsSmith501 - You've made me feel better!

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Mums1234 Fri 06-Mar-20 18:54:52

I have just accepted a dream job- but it turned out to be awful due to a bully manager! Staff are an important part of any job and imagine if you had relocated to find out the staff weren't nice etc

Waferbiscuit Fri 06-Mar-20 21:29:44

Sorry to hear that @Mums1234

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