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Odd situation with co-worker

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Elsiewhere Fri 24-Jan-20 10:37:08

I am very unsure about co-worker and 'friend'. She is older than me and makes friends with women who are younger than her. I have watched her over the years 'groom' our new starters into becoming her friends. She then becomes a mother-figure to them and they get to participate in HER life, doing HER things, HER way. She then has a very close circle who are all friends together; a little 'clique.'

Having witnessed this, I've reciprocated her friendship from a distance, doing things only if I want to do them too etc.

I am sharing some clients with her at work and she has tried to tell me what I should be doing with them (we both have a set area of work). She knows very little about what I do and I know very little about what she does so there isn't much overlap. I've nodded and said 'yeah, maybe,' then do my own thing anyway.

However, I've recently been complained about twice, by clients I share with her. Never from any other clients. They have moved over to a new member of staff following the complaints, both were simply through not liking my 'method' of doing things.

When I have spoken to my colleague about it, she wants to change the subject and doesn't appear to want to talk about the clients. She appears to be very much involved with both clients herself, having a great rapport with them etc.

It has just dawned on me...

Could these 2 complaints actually be something to do with her? Or a complete long shot? Is there a 'type' of person that makes the sorts of friendships I describe and perhaps punishes those who don't oblige?

A new starter began 12 months ago and I literally could foresee exactly how things would unfold. The befriending, the support and help she would give, to her now basically being a part of her extended family spending the weekends with her, her husband and children.

Am I crazy for even thinking this?

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