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What is your experience of bereavement leave?

(27 Posts)
fortheloveofmoney Fri 10-Jan-20 16:28:48

Just that really – I know in the UK most places will give you up to 3 days paid leave and then it is up to them to decide what they want to do, but it seems to be such a mixed bag.

Purpleartichoke Fri 10-Jan-20 16:31:00

For my mother’s death, 3 days and they were understanding when I wanted to use some additional annual leave sporadically.

fortheloveofmoney Fri 10-Jan-20 16:34:01

glad to hear they were flexible about it @purpleartichoke – were you happy with that amount of time?

okiedokieme Fri 10-Jan-20 16:36:04

It varies, from experience some workplaces allow weeks for a parent even others get sniffy about the day of the funeral

Dollywilde Fri 10-Jan-20 16:42:15

Not me, but DH - working for a large multinational based in London. His dad died unexpectedly on a Saturday night and he called work to let them know he wouldn't be in first thing on Monday (was prepared to use annual leave if necessary - FIL was divorced from MIL for many years and DH next of kin). They gave him the week off on compassionate which was a huge help as DH had a lot to sort out and FIL lived 3 hours away.

The following week DH went in - they said that he could take the week if needed but everything was organised for the funeral so he didn't think there was much point in staying home. I think they made sure nothing too taxing or stressful crossed his desk though.

Week after that was the funeral on the Thursday so he was granted another day of compassionate for the funeral day itself but used two days of annual leave on Weds and Friday.

He has since said he felt very well supported, although with hindsight he feels he should have taken more time off. However, it was him pushing himself to get back to work sooner, and that if he'd asked for more time work would have been accommodating.

Soontobe60 Fri 10-Jan-20 16:47:13

My MIL died last weekend. My DH has had the week off and been paid. No question.
I had a month off when my DF died, the first week as compassionate leave when he was in hospital, the last 3 weeks as sick leave with a sick note off the GP, with 'bereavement' as the reason for sickness.

Cantdoleft Fri 10-Jan-20 16:49:00

I I’m didn’t get any when my Dad died. Had to take annual leave for the funeral and the Monday after he died on the Sunday.

Small business without people to cover at short notice. Actually suited me to keep busy but realise that doesn’t apply to everyone

mum2girls3 Fri 10-Jan-20 16:49:10

We get a week for a parents death, most people take longer by being signed off

Soontobe60 Fri 10-Jan-20 16:49:17

Oh and my DD went into work on Tuesday after being off Monday, and they sent her home for the rest of the week as she was so upset. Again no questions asked, not expected to work from home nor classed as sickness absence.

DH works in a small factory, I was a teacher and DD works for a big global accountancy firm.

OnlyFoolsnMothers Fri 10-Jan-20 16:50:45

depends who died- tend to get zero time off for anyone outside of immediate family in places I have worked.

my dad- 1 week (not sure if thats normal but I was only 20)
my grandma - nothing
my aunt - nothing

annual leave to attend funerals.

Ilikewinter Fri 10-Jan-20 16:51:50

5 days for immediate family, 3 days for close relatives, this is to include a day for the funeral.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult Fri 10-Jan-20 16:52:20

My (now ex) got 2 weeks (paternity) off because our daughter was ill, they then gave him 3 days paid compassionate leave when she died.

Other staff members rallied round and did his hours for him so he had more time off and still got paid, which I'll be forever grateful for.

peekybootoyou Fri 10-Jan-20 16:54:45

My dp committed suicide at home. I found him.

I received SSP I was signed off after the 1 stat day and was fired after still being off 7 weeks later. Small private company.

BeyondMyWits Fri 10-Jan-20 16:55:51

Annual leave for the day of my mother's funeral.

Small 8 employee business on a job-share - sharing partner was off on long term sick. I was a walking zombie.

hopeishere Fri 10-Jan-20 16:57:16

I think we get five days paid. I'm in NI and the funeral is usually three days after the death. After my mum died I was signed off for a few weeks as well.

Redglitter Fri 10-Jan-20 16:59:26

Officially 3 days but it tends to be a couple of weeks. After that it would be a sick line.

WhyNotMe40 Fri 10-Jan-20 16:59:31

I got 2 weeks for my father, and 3 days for travel and funeral nfor my grandmother (had a long flight). I'm a teacher

pastaparadise Fri 10-Jan-20 17:01:05

Some of these sound awful.

When df died i got 10 days compassionate leave plus one day for funeral. But it couldn't start til he'd died so the few days ny his deathbed beforehand were annual leave

WhyNotMe40 Fri 10-Jan-20 17:01:28

I will add the 2 weeks for my father was I was executor and had to sort out the funeral and all the legal stuff and finances

NaToth Fri 10-Jan-20 17:01:49

When DM died, should have been allowed five days compassionate leave, but bullying manager didn't even offer it, so I went to the doc instead and got a fit note for four weeks, which helped no end.

When MIL died last summer, I was allowed three days compassionate and made it up to two weeks with some sick leave and annual leave.

AnneLovesGilbert Fri 10-Jan-20 17:03:18

5 days compassionate leave when (now ex) FIL died, no questions. PIL lived a way away and I ended up having to organise everything as everyone else fell apart. Work being decent made the whole thing bearable.

DH got the same when I had a mmc and ended up in and out of hospital for a week.

fortheloveofmoney Fri 10-Jan-20 17:09:53

flowers flowers flowers flowers for everyone on this thread x

avocadoze Fri 10-Jan-20 17:14:41

I went to work after my df died. I knew I would be lonely and miserable at home, and I would be busy and miserable at work. I could have taken 5 days. I did take a day for the funeral, of course. flowers to other on the thread.

Lellochip Fri 10-Jan-20 17:26:31

I had 3 days after DM died, then one more for funeral.

Had the 2 weeks before she died off though, and this was a mix of compassionate and annual leave I happened to have already booked in. They were also pretty flexible about the odd day for hospital visits in the months leading up. Still have no idea what the official policy is though

beenrumbled Fri 10-Jan-20 17:33:43

I had 5 days paid compassionate leave when DM died. I had to the have a sicknote for SSP.

FIL died just before DM, and they let me use leave for the funeral.

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