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Professional advice and personal. Director...Am I to harsh

(11 Posts)
Lilith81 Fri 10-Jan-20 03:33:05

I worked for a letting agents owned by two directors. Both in thier early 60s. Husband and wife. I handed my notice in a week ago as im Weekly paid and have a new job monday. The wife director offered me more money to stay however it still wasnt enough as it was alsoncosting me two thousand pounds a year to park. The wage wasnt great anyway and the wage rise was still not enough to even cover that. The job Im moving to is 6000 pounds more a year and free parking.
Anyway...the male director has always been if anything a little difficult to discuss things with as he spouts nonsense as dictators tend to (yes dictator) and treats his wife appallingly in the office, but hey I always thought thats none of my business etc.
I was having an interesting conversation with him this morning and had a chance to show my knowledge and background of many subjects and we bonded i thought because, he can see im good for his company. He leaves the office and rings his wife. (Whose my direct line manager) her mobile is so loud the whole office hears the conversation. I quote verbatim.
'I dont like or trust that accounts person' (he couldnt remember my name)
'Shes too clever by half, she knows too much and she is too clued up, you know about contracts and employment contracts and stuff like that' (they never made me sign one, i dont even get wage slips)
'Dont trust her with the bank and dont let her transfer money, it wouldnt surprise me if she transfers money into her own account' ( I dont have access to the bank)

Everyone in the office turns to me as they can hear it as well. They are shaking heads in shock at what hes saying. I walk into the cloakroom pick my coat up and bag and walk out to my car. I have never quit a job before, never been accused of being a thief or too clever for that matter! The wife comes out and apologises on behalf of her husband. By this time im crying and she asks me to come back in. I say no. Hug her and say thank you for all your direction (shes never be bad) and I drive off. Im angry and i message the director. I couldn't help it. He was so personal and vile I had to just try and put him straight about who I am.

I can not believe you think that of me. I have never stole from anyone, I never would. . Im clever because I am a strong intelligent woman whose worked in numerous important diverse jobs including housing and social services. Thats what made S and J offer me the position, because of my experience, my personality and I'm not an idiot. I havent and would never steal. What you said about me, even on a phone call (which the whole office heard) was not ok! Im sorry you feel me being knowledgable is bad. I learnt from many good people that I had the pleasure of working with that a company should employee staff better than you to help it suceed. You did, well S did. But after your jaded views and your slander that was overheard by the office embarrassingly you lost her. You will probably say good riddance but thats your way of not understanding or caring that your wrong and have been inappropriate.

You did not see me upset in the office, or crying all the way home. No one should make anybody feel like this. It wasnt a professional criticism it was personal. Not once have I given anyone the impression that Im a thief. I dont know if you will take my advice but the next person or employee who follows me, treat them with respect, the utmost care, dont descriminate because they are intelligent and be professional about them.

I hope xxxxxx carry on doing well and I wish the company all the sucess.

I message my line manager and explained i quit and that I had messaged the Director.

Heres my line managers reply.

Oh K I'm so sorry. I spoke to S as soon as I got back to the office. I don't want to diminish your feelings but I would like to assure you that N comments are not shared by S or the office. In fact S was hoping to call and talk to you again today, she genuinely would not have offered you options to help balance your life if you were not highly regarded. Despite it making you feel better, I wish you had not messaged N as S and I would still like the opportunity to help resolve this. N is a good person and I have personally witnessed him help staff and support them when needed. However, he is prone to expressing himself poorly. Would you consider retracting your message on N LinkedIn and accept a call from S later? We love having you in the office. J

I blocked his calls and messages after that as well as all the other managers and directors. Im not expecting my last wage.

Any thoughts? Was I wrong?

Sparklfairy Fri 10-Jan-20 03:54:36

Was your message to dictator public on LinkedIn as you were asked to retract it?

How long had you been working there?

GiveHerHellFromUs Fri 10-Jan-20 04:29:04

If that message is public I'd retract it for your own sake.

But I wouldn't communicate with them any more. You've said your piece and there's no coming back from what's happened.

Toomanygerbils Fri 10-Jan-20 04:39:04

Sod that, you have done nothing wrong, make it public, you have nothing to lose, but they do

Sparklfairy Fri 10-Jan-20 04:39:37

If that message is public I'd retract it for your own sake

Don't do this (yet).

Lilith81 Fri 10-Jan-20 07:03:52

Hi, No i sent it via LinkedIn through a personal message. I made sure it was just for his eyes. I kept him friends for awhile to see if he would reply then i blocked him.

strictlymomdancing Fri 10-Jan-20 09:04:03

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

GiveHerHellFromUs Fri 10-Jan-20 09:26:53

@strictlymomdancing put your claws away. I know people who earn 4x what I do who don't know the difference between of and have.

Spelling and grammar and intelligence aren't mutually inclusive.

Lilith81 Fri 10-Jan-20 10:15:01

I wrote this post at 3am while crying using a phone. I am asking for advice. Someone comes forward and complains about my spelling and grammar! Yeah please dont comment if its not constructive. You are as bad as the person I've asked advice about. Please just pass this post by if you have nothing to contribute but your vile hatred. Thank you.

GiveHerHellFromUs Fri 10-Jan-20 10:21:17

OP save your post into a word document with the date the incident happened in case you need it for future reference.

They absolutely need to pay you for the days you've worked.

Sparklfairy Fri 10-Jan-20 16:41:14

Ok. This advice might not be for everyone but it was what I would (and have) done.

Wait to see if they pay you. If they dont, send a recorded letter (find a template online) saying to pay within 7 days or face a tribunal claim for unlawful deduction of wages.

They will probably pay then. I would suggest looking at a legal case with an employment solicitor, but the reality is you haven't suffered any loss or consequence of his actions apart from hurt feelings. So the best you can hope for is to give them a headache with a lot of paperwork and stress, but really it's not worth it.

Hope you're ok OP.

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