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Like my job, really dislike my colleague

(6 Posts)
BellaM Thu 09-Jan-20 16:16:20

I'm struggling to explain this but my colleague (she's technically a supervisor but not my supervisor) is just constantly there, listening in to everything I do, answering questions that are directed towards me before I've even had a chance to answer, making changes in my department without consulting me first and the most recent incident: myself and another colleague planned to work on a project together on a particular day, I chose this day as it's a day we both have less to do. This colleague mentioned it to the annoying colleague and annoying colleague told her she didn't think we should as it's a 'busy day'. I honestly think she said this as she's annoyed she isn't involved in it. I feel like she doesn't like the fact I'm good at my job and is trying to outdo me. And this does get to me as I'm not the type to brag (she feels the need to tell management all the tasks she's completed even though these are expected anyway). I know I probably sound really petty but it's constant and I really like my job but starting to dread going in as she is always there and I don't get a break from her. Has anyone else had a colleague like this and how did you deal with it? Do I just need to get a grip and work with her??

livefornaps Thu 09-Jan-20 16:23:14

Ugh. She sounds like an utter douchebag. Just smile at her and then do whatever you want

Chottie Thu 09-Jan-20 16:30:09

I would just ignore her. When she answers a question directed at you for you, just wait until she has finished speaking and then respond directly to the person yourself as if she hasn't spoken. Keep your voice and manner completely neutral. If she says anything, just reply xxx was speaking to me and I have just answered.

If she makes changes, just ignore them and carry on with what you have decided. Regarding the meeting arrangement, just carry on as agreed.

If she says anything to you, just smile, say you are here to work and are just doing your job and that xxxx your direct supervisor has no concerns with how you are working. Then carry on working. Don't give her the satisfaction of seeing how she upsets you. Out of interest, how old are you and how old is the other women?

BellaM Thu 09-Jan-20 16:50:34

I've been trying to be civil and not let her know that she's getting to me, I also don't want her to play the victim card as she always acts so nice calling everybody 'babe' etc, whereas I'm a lot more introverted, I'm polite to people, help when they need it but don't care much for small talk and don't have an alliance to anyone, so feel people are more likely to take her side if I was to say anything to her. Management are very bitchy and cliquey so not likely to have an unbiased opinion. I'm 35, she's about 28. Shes very keen to climb the ladder and progress. I just want to do my job, earn some money and come home to my family!

Chottie Thu 09-Jan-20 17:04:21

Bella that's interesting, I thought she might be an older woman feeling threatened by a newcomer, but this is obviously not the case. Calling everybody 'babe' sounds a bit odd and not very professional to me. Is her behaviour designed to make her look good and that she knows everyone's job? Wherever I have worked, everyone has enough to do to keep up with their own work, let alone butting into other conversations and 'advising' on other people's work arrangements.

BellaM Thu 09-Jan-20 17:25:59

I wouldn't mind her addressing everyone in that way if she was genuinely kind hearted, but she's such a cow to certain people. One person at work who is her equal but lacks confidence in herself, goes out of her way to try and be helpful and all she gets back is awkward and snidey remarks. And it's funny you should say that about having enough of her own work to do, as i just thought the other day how she seems to be neglecting her other duties in favour of helping me. I don't need supervised at my job, so somebody else could be sent to help me when I need it and she could focus on her actual job.

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