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Don't know if I want to leave or not

(3 Posts)
Flairhead Wed 08-Jan-20 02:36:33

Right now, I feel like I'm sick of my job. I've been working in customer service for over a decade and I'm really good at what I do, but I feel like I've outgrown it.

The main problem is I'm not progressing. The managers in my dept all know I want to be a manager myself, and they're good about letting me supervise everyone if they're in meetings, but with Xmas we've been pretty busy so I haven't been able to do much more.

I know I'm not happy in the job, because I worked in another dept for a few months last year, and then when I came back I felt seriously down for a couple of weeks. It took me a while to realise that was why, because I didn't know I wasn't happy in the first place, if that makes sense?

I spoke to my boss today about getting me back on track to work towards promotion. I know l can definitely do the manager job, and happily he thinks so too, but I don't interview well and need to be able to demonstrate certain skills, so that's what I need to work on. When I applied a few months ago and then had the meeting to tell me I hadn't been successful, I mentioned I was planning on applying again, she told me I should think about if it was the right time. Well, thanks. It basically felt like she was telling me I wasn't good enough. That's had a hugely damaging effect on my self belief and I've ended up close to tears at my desk on more than one occasion because of that, thinking "I'm not good enough". I'm actually crying now thinking about it, which I know is crazy because I am good enough, but I need other people to think that too. I know i shouldn't, but I do.

The thing is though, I'm not 100% sure I want to work there any more. It sounds bad, but I very rarely actually care about any of the things I have to deal with for customers. I don't enjoy the job, it feels like some of management don't think I'm capable, and I'm getting more and more frustrated that I'm doing a job dealing with trivial issues that really aren't a big deal for people that think the tiniest thing entitles them to all sorts.

Really, the only thing that makes me hesitant about leaving is my colleagues. I've made some great friends there and it really would be such a hard thing to leave them. I know we could stay in touch etc, but honestly, how often does that happen? If it wasn't for them, I'd probably have looked at leaving a long time ago.

I just don't really know what to do now. I did see a job vacancy elsewhere I liked the sound of and I've applied, just waiting to see if I hear anything back. But if I don't, how do I find the motivation to keep working where I am? I definitely don't want to leave for just any other job, I want to do something l actually want to do, but if nothing comes of the one I've applied for I'm probably stuck where I am. Has anyone else felt like this, and how did you get through it?

Thanks for reading, I know it's long.

NewPage Wed 08-Jan-20 07:52:00

Hi there.
I completely get where you’re coming from and have felt just like you have felt. It sounds like you are good at your job and ready for the next level. Did you get any feedback from last interview on what you need to develop?
Regrettably sometimes the only way to get a promotion is to leave and go somewhere else. This is often because politics, managers not wanting you to outshine them and just general reluctance to high a good person internally as they then leave a gap from where they are, if you know what I mean.
I think it’s great you’ve applied elsewhere, it’s also good for you CV not to have worked for one place for many years. You don’t want to be considered institutionalised. Regarding your colleagues, totally get that. However they may move on, things may change and you sound like someone who will make new work friends if you were to move.
So head up high, keep looking for new opportunities and don’t let this situation become you. The next opportunity may just be around the corner and see all the interviews and applying for jobs as practice until the right opportunity comes along.

Flairhead Wed 08-Jan-20 13:32:11

Thanks for your reply. I did get feedback after last time but it was only a couple of days after I was told I didn't get the job and I wasn't in a great place to be hearing the feedback so I can't remember a lot. Oh well.

I will keep chipping away for now, hopefully I at least get an interview for the one I've applied for, we'll see. Hard to be positive sometimes but I'll keep showing up anyway.

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