So, basically the title says it all.
I am naturally a super shy person but back home in my home country I had at least one person in my workplace that I chatted with regularly. At this job I have none. No one seems remotely interested in getting to know me at all.
At this job I feel like an outcast. I am a foreigner as I am not British and I think that might be a factor as well as my shyness.
I am from Italy but for some reason I am mistaken as a Polish girl. I've had a couple of people ask me out of the blue if I was or speak to me convinced that I was Polish. I don't look Italian and I know but then I don't have a Polish accent when speaking so I don't know why they assume that and even my name isn't a Polish one. Anyway, I say this as undeniably Eastern European people can be the object of unmotivated dislike among some Brits. I cannot think why someone would come and ask me if I am Polish otherwise.
I am always polite and if someone says hi or smiles at me I say hi back and smile. I don't think I present myself as unapproachable or stuck up. The people around my age or slightly younger just flat out blank me. The older ones are a little friendlier at least.
I work together with these people on a shift then they might pass by me on the way out while I am sitting down waiting for my cab and they act like they don't know me at all and don't even bother acknowledging me. I find it disconcerting.
There was this girl I had the induction with who initially would smile at me (of course I would smile back)... now she sees me and if I smile at her she just looks at me with this blank expression. Nothing whatsoever happened - I don't have any real interaction with these people so there has never even been the chance for me to even do anything bad lol. I really don't get it.
Oh and before anyone attributes this behaviour to a bad day or something like that. That has been happening every single time now so she can't be having a bad day all the time (and it's not that anyway as she hangs out with others just fine).
I have also noticed people working close to me don't even try to initiate chats with me but if they are put to work with someone else they will have a chat, etc. I am talking about newcomers as well so it's like for some reason people don't wanna speak with me.
You will tell me: you make the first move then. Like I said, I am pathologically shy and more so with people I have to speak to in English. Being super shy has never been a big problem for me as at least in my home country there was always the one person who gave me a chance to open up. Not like this here. I have been in this country for like 10 years now and I have 0 friends. 0. Not joking.
Yeah, I am a loner and a homebody but surely even someone like me should be able to befriend one person at least. I don't bite and I am a very calm and polite person. I don't know what's wrong with me that seems to keep these people here at distance. They seem willing to initiate a chat with other Brits like them, even with newcomers like I once was, but not with me. Maybe you can help me understand. Thank you.
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Have 0 friends among coworkers after over 3 years at this job
4 replies
scenicview222 · 20/12/2019 20:39
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