Mortified. Was asked if I was pregnant.

(76 Posts)
tuberr0se Fri 13-Sep-19 19:47:18

Just that really. A client came into work today and asked me if I was pregnant. And how many weeks along I am. I know I am slightly overweight and have been on a diet for the last month but ffs why would you ask someone that?!! I nearly burst into tears. Now feel a bit pissed off with her for saying it. I'm very aware of my stomach being too big as it is. Why would a woman say that to another woman?

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Singlenotsingle Fri 13-Sep-19 19:51:06

You'll have to toughen up, you know. No point getting upset just because some rude woman speaks out of turn. Just look round - his many women have got flat stomachs? No one's perfect. Did Rude Woman have a perfect figure?

SummerHouse Fri 13-Sep-19 19:51:08

Happened to me too. I just thought oh well. She didn't even ask me she said "oh wow, I didn't know you were pregnant again!"

"I'm not."

Biggest tumbleweed ever.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 Fri 13-Sep-19 19:52:45

Some of us were raised by decent parents who taught us that it's rude to make personal remarks.

Some of us were dragged up. Like the woman who asked you if you were pregnant.

MythicalBiologicalFennel Fri 13-Sep-19 19:54:46

I have been asked without been pregnant too and it sucks... to be fair I am slim with a podge of belly fat so I guess I do look pregnant. The woman who asked me wasn't fazed or apologetic either when I said "erm no I'm not pregnant". I would NEVER ask anyone even when it's obvious.

ComftyCushion Fri 13-Sep-19 19:55:10

Happened to me a few times... I was mortified the first time but then realised that I have got a belly so they just jumped to the wrong conclusion 🤷🏻‍♀️ they're more mortified when you point out that you're not!grin

Nonotmenori Fri 13-Sep-19 19:55:59

I had this a few years ago. A client I was visiting said to me when were you going to tell us your news?! I said what news? She goes, The baby news when are you due? I was like er, I'm not pregnant just fat! Her face though. My mother goes if that's not enough for you to go on a diet, I don't know what is! I take these things with a pinch of salt, but it always reminds me to never assume if someone is pregnant or not. I never ask just because of my own experience. Head up OP sometimes people just don't think before they speak 😘

bobstersmum Fri 13-Sep-19 19:56:33

She obviously has no manners or social etiquette!

Greenmarmalade Fri 13-Sep-19 19:58:05

I’ve had this several times... isn’t it awful? I don’t know why it’s such a stinger but it really is!

tuberr0se Fri 13-Sep-19 20:00:38

Trouble is, I never managed to get rid of my post baby stomach so I can kind of see why she might have thought it , but really, why on earth would you comment on someone else's figure?

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Fleetheart Fri 13-Sep-19 20:04:27

Not the end of the world is it really?

tuberr0se Fri 13-Sep-19 20:08:23

No, it isn't.

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Treaclebee Fri 13-Sep-19 20:11:57

I've had this a few times too. I tend to put weight on my belly and boobs rather than anywhere else. Was once asked in a job interview, and another time while I was in probation period for a new job. Heaven forefend a woman might just be a bit fat.

People can be thoughtless rude arses OP.

MythicalBiologicalFennel Fri 13-Sep-19 20:14:41

Not the end of the world is it really?

Very little on MN is about the end of the world @Fleetheart. Do you get to decide what subjects are worthy of discussion or is there a memo somewhere that I have missed?

GetUpAgain Fri 13-Sep-19 20:16:59

Someone asked me once, I was skinny at the time but with a curved stomach... my advice is put weight on all over and you won't be asked again wink

Don't worry about it. Happens to the best of us.

MadameForest Fri 13-Sep-19 20:17:23

I've never had it but am ashamed I've said it on two occasions to women who looked pregnant but were just overweight. I never comment now.
OTOH if it happened to me I would use it as awake up call to lose weight.

MitziK Fri 13-Sep-19 20:17:55

Not the end of the world, but it can feel like it when you've put on weight because, having miscarried, you haven't got hyperemesis anymore.

Fleetheart Fri 13-Sep-19 20:18:06

grin, it’s just that most of us have probably had similar comments at some time, and actually it just means we are a bit plump!! I was offered a seat on the tube, I think they thought I was pregnant. It made me slim down a bit (but I took the seat grin)

tierraJ Fri 13-Sep-19 20:22:57

As my work tunic is quite fitted I've been asked when my baby's due a few times by patients.

It stings because a) realistically I won't have a baby now which is a sad thing to deal with

& b) I'm working hard on my diet!

It tends to be older women who are guilty of this.

DobbyTheHouseElk Fri 13-Sep-19 20:25:43

Someone said it to me, I was having a heavy period and was mega bloated. Ooh she said, pregnant again I see! I said no. I’m not. At the time I was wanting to be so it wasn’t nice.

mummTum Fri 13-Sep-19 20:29:55

Sorry that happened to you. Exactly the same thing happened to me yesterday. We were celebrating at work and our office manager was serving champagne. She said to me quietly, ´here’s a small one for you’. I didn’t get it at first until we were talking later and she said ‘so....did you drink your champagne?’ and gave me a knowing look. The penny dropped and as we were with other colleagues I said pointedly, ‘yes, and I had a top up’ - thinking she’d drop it but she just carried on and said ‘oh, it’s just the skirt you wore the other day made your tummy stick out and i could have sworn you were pregnant’. I was really embarrassed and annoyed with her. It’s just not what you say to someone, just totally tactless. I’m slim too but have a post baby tummy (which I’m desperate to get rid of) and everyone at work knows I eat healthily and work out. I laughed it off at the time because I didn’t want her to feel bad in front of our colleagues but I was upset so I can understand why you were.

I’m wondering what the best kind of clothes to wear are? I used to love wearing dresses but I feel like I always look pregnant in them so prefer slim trousers and shirts - not sure if that’s any better though! Clearly skirts are out!

Ticklemeelmo Fri 13-Sep-19 20:31:33

Honestly what possesses some people to make comments like this? I'd never mention pregnancy to anyone unless I was already 100% certain they actually were

Ferretyone Fri 13-Sep-19 20:48:35

@NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1

How right you are - blessed be those parents [mine anyway]

Bouffalant Fri 13-Sep-19 20:53:09

What are the good comebacks for this?

So's your face?
Yer da sells Avon?

I think the MN collective needs to build a library of witty responses to such a cunty question.

tuberr0se Fri 13-Sep-19 20:55:13

Yes, I'd love to hear those! I wish I had said something, not bitchy, but just a sort of fuck off. In a nice way, obviously smile

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