Please talk me out of handing my notice in

[Lookingforpizza]

Hi all,

I’ve hit a massive breaking point after a year of working in a horrible environment. I’ve been crying every morning before work for the last week or so, and cried all night last night and have been crying at work also. I can’t cope with this place anymore.

I am on a 2 month notice period and I know it’s absolutely stupid to hand in notice without somewhere else to go but I feel so helpless and need to do something. I feel like I could find something temporary to go to within two months but I know it’s a huge risk. Please talk me down off this ledge

[Sycamoretrees]

Can you take a few days off sick so you can get some rest and think it through with a clearer head? Never good to Make a decision when you are very stressed and upset. Hang in there, I've been there and know how hard it is.

[RatherBeRiding]

Can you see your GP and get signed off with stress for a while to give you some breathing space - crying at work isn't normal and the working environment obviously isn't at all good for you. Use that time to sign up with some temp agencies.

Ultimately you have to look after yourself and whilst I would never advocate quitting a job without something to go to, if the situation at work becomes extreme then you may have to.

Is the situation at work something management/HR can help with?

[Lookingforpizza]

Thanks for the responses. Unfortunately I am in HR so not really sure who I can go to. My manager is okay but I feel uncomfortable talking about my feelings at the best of times and I’m embarrassed that I can’t seem to just get on with every day life. I’ve never been in this position before so I just feel so stuck.

I’ll try and get in with my GP.

[EleanorReally]

do you have an occ health? can they suggest someone for you to talk to?.;;
are you in a union?

[Pashola]

Just hand it in. Honestly you'll feel so much better.
I know it's not the best advice, but I was in a similar situation, no job to go to, and after a lot of stress and crying just handed it in one day and the relief was instant.

Although it did take a few months to stop feeling anxious about work until I reminded myself that I no longer had to go there.

Life's to short to be that unhappy

[Sakura7]

Definitely go to your GP and get signed off.

Do you think the situation could improve if you talked to your manager, or is the place just too toxic? If its the latter, focus your energy on getting out while you're signed off.

Ultimately looking after your health is more important that adhering to the "never leave your job without another one" mantra. I know people who have done it and it has worked out ok. It does help if you have savings though, and also consider the industry you're in and to what extent your skills are in demand. The job market is reasonably good at the moment.

[Lookingforpizza]

@EleanorReally nope not in a union unfortunately. My understanding of occ health is you’re referred externally if you’ve been signed off work for a period of time. We have an EAP which I have tried to use, but it’s just really basic advice like try exercising and eating well. Which I do!

[CleverQuacks]

6 months ago I was in the same position. Dreading every day at work. I did it: handed in my notice and then frantically looked for something else. I am now in a job I love. It was the best decision I have made.

[MissSueFlay]

Start making an escape plan - get your CV updated, get onto LinkedIn and change the setting that says you're 'looking for opportunities'. At lunchtime go and sit scanning LinkedIn for jobs and see what's out there. When your CV is ready make contact with some recruitment agencies and see what kind of roles they have.

Whenever I've been thoroughly miserable somewhere, being proactive about making my escape plan has really helped to feel like the power is back with me, not them.

Can you afford to be without work for a couple of months if that's what it came to? Are there any specifics that are making it a horrible place, anything that could be changed to make it better? Easier to explain a change of job at an interview if you're still in one, rather than explain a break in employment.

Ultimately, though, no job is worth risking your mental heath, so if it's absolutely awful then you should just hand your notice in and walk away.

[Lookingforpizza]

Thanks @Sakura7 - I have a fair bit of admin experience and I am not too high up that finding a new role would be hard. I don’t have much in the way of savings though but feel 2 months is enough time to find something for now. But I just know it’s risky and then I don’t want to be further stressed by the pressure of that.

I’m honestly not sure how being signed off by a GP works - what if I go to the doctors and they don’t think I need signing off? I rarely visit docs so just not sure what to expect.

[EleanorReally]

just ask the gp,
please can you sign me off, i am crying every morning and every evening. that is reason enough.

[EleanorReally]

2 month notice period?
how long have you worked there?

[EleanorReally]

what is so bad about the job op? spill the beans, might make you feel better

[TDMN]

OP I feel the exact same way about my job at the moment and i highly recommend what another poster has advised above - start an escape plan. Once you've started planning how your life will look in a new position it will loosen the hold the curremt job has on your brain.

[Sakura7]

Tell the doctor you're in a horrible work environment and you've reached breaking point. You're crying at the thought of going in there.

I've had to do it in the past and I felt the same going in, but the doctor was very understanding. He initially gave me two weeks but told me to come back if I needed to. I ended up with four weeks out in total, I was dreading going back but my employer was very understanding. It seemed to give my manager a bit of a kick up the backside as well, and her behaviour improved a lot. I carried on looking for jobs, and found one about five months later (probably could have managed it sooner if I had job hunted consistently, but I took a break from it over the summer. Also the job market was tougher then). I did have a deadline, i.e. if I don't have anything by Christmas I need to just leave, and I saved up in case I needed to do that.

[Missingstreetlife]

Can you get counselling through work or insurance. Will be quicker than through gp.

[Lookingforpizza]

@EleanorReally I get why you’re asking as I hate vague posts on MN too but I’m worries it is outing. I will say it’s been a year of a small office with very negative people and bullying, and managers ignoring it. For some reason now it has just gotten to me.

@missingstreetlife I don’t have insurance and I’ve tried our EAP but didn’t find it particularly useful. I can’t really quantify what it is that I am stressed and anxious about, it’s just a general feeling and I’ve lost control of it.

I’m glad to hear your manager was supportive @Sakura7 - I have been looking for other jobs for a while but have been struggling to motivate myself to do a solid application for them. I do think having an exit plan will help though so I just need to try and commit my spare time to that.

[EleanorReally]

I think being proactive, updating cv, job hunting, will help your mental health, there is life outside of your current job

[HippyTrails]

hand in your notice - you spend far too much time at work for it to be such an unhappy place

[SnuggyBuggy]

OP staying in a toxic situation is also a risk. All you can do is weigh up both risks and decide which is worse

[EleanorReally]

Tell yourself you are only there for the money, and repeat

[Sakura7]

I think taking stress leave will help you to focus on making job applications. It's very hard when you're demoralised and worn out from the stress of just surviving in your current job.

Spend the first few days of leave looking after yourself, go for walks, read, do a hobby, whatever makes you feel more relaxed. You need this to build yourself back up. Then start spending 2-3 hours a day on the job hunt, while also doing things for yourself. It will help you to feel calmer and more refreshed.

I wouldn't exactly say my boss was supportive, but HR were, and I think they had a word so she knew she needed to watch her behaviour. I had no idea what to expect going back, but it wasn't anywhere near as bad as I feared.

[stucknoue]

You know the situation where you live - is there much temp work, or jobs at your experience level? In London or big cities then just leaving and looking for something else is probably more feasible than where I am where anything above minimum wage, living wage if you are a supervisor is unusual

[DontPressSendTooSoon]

Not sure where you live OP but I am in HR and there are usually quite a few temp opportunities where I live (big city in the North) which is good for developing your skills/experience/sector exposure. I was out of work in January and had recruiters biting my hand off to get me to take short term temporary work. So if you're up for contracting this could work.