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It’s not easy being a work from home mum!

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WFHM Thu 27-Jun-19 09:46:05

3 yrs ago after the birth of my son, the death of my Dad, the death of my horse and a passive aggressive manipulative bullying boss all in one year, I decided to leave the NHS as an employee and step out on my own, self employed!

I was already running 2 jobs having started for my husbands business in 2015, so I wasn’t unemployed, just facing giving up my career that I worked 18 yrs for and becoming wholly dependent on my husband.......scary and life changing for someone like me!!!

My self employed career didn’t go to plan, it was hard, soul destroying, to think I had worked towards something for so many years and I felt powerless to share my skills. I resigned myself to being a work from home mum and housewife. It was hard, very hard, after being so independent in all aspects of my life.

Working from home in a job that requires little human interaction was a shock! It seemed my only interaction was with the kids and dogs. The pups have given me another job! It’s no easy task raising 2 sibling Rottie pups to be well adjusted and behaved, it’s testing and tiring! Every walk is a training session and when something goes wrong it’s nearly catastrophic, but I’m very proud of how they’re doing at 12 months old! I was putting my time in on the house renovation too, balancing it with still giving the kids the attention they deserve and work etc! I was also solely responsible for organising the kids lives and the running of the house......full stop.....as my husband was very busy making the business successful, running 2 rugby teams and working on the house! It is very true that behind every successful fulfilled partner, is an equally strong and dedicated one!!

It took me nearly 3 years to adjust and then the company that I’d been doing the odd day of my work for, asked if I had more capacity! At this point we were in the throws of the biggest renovation project of our lives, the business was booming and the kids lives becoming evermore demanding......did I have the time?!

For once I knew I had to put me first, a happy mum and wife, leads to a happy family life. I wasn’t unhappy but I wasn’t fulfilled, I was just going through the motions! We would have to share the fall out of me ‘working’ more.

So I said yes! After 6 months I’m doing what I dreamt of, working from home, supporting my family and supporting the NHS again! I’m sharing my knowledge and skills, but without the chore of going to work, sitting in an office! I can spend my lunch, walking the dogs or working on the house or playing with kids! I don’t really have a weekend, all my days are the same but all are different......and I’m starting to feel alive again!

So why am I writing this.....on a number of occasions I’ve been challenged about not working! When will I return to work, how can I think about expensive hobbies like a horse when I don’t work! I haven’t really made any sacrifices!! Most recently on my birthday this year whilst enjoying a drink with friends, I quickly changed the company I was keeping!

So I reflected, as I felt worthless, a parasite, a failure to my husband and family, I didn’t feel that for long!! I then felt anger towards those who had judged me without living my life! And in true Whittle spirit I came back fighting!!!

So why have I shared this.....because outwardly I’m seen as a strong, independent, got my shit together person! But I nearly fell apart! I had to seek help from GP, my closest friends. I had to make a choice to accept my life, to change it, to not listen to arrogant, judgemental, idiots!

I could have very easily been a mental health statistic, but I chose to be the master of my own destiny!

Live is not always what we want it to be, there will always be those few idiots that are cruel and unnecessarily nasty but the only person we have to compete with is ourselves!

Be honest, loyal, fair and true to yourself first and then others.

Everyone is valuable in this world for different reasons xx

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