Stress of working FT affecting decision about 2nd baby

[Fraxxled]

Hi mums and belated Merry Christmas.
I don’t know if anyone is reading this, but I feel really conflicted and could do with some advice.

I’m a FT teacher in a secondary school. My son is nearly 15 months and I returned to work this April, initially on 4 days, until we decided to buy our first house so I went back FT at the start of Sept. I’ve found FT extremely hard to cope with as I often feel I’m not doing a great job at work, and by the time I finish I’m knackered so doesn’t feel like quality time with my son. I’m very grateful for the holidays of course, but on normal weekdays it’s hard as my husband doesn’t get in until 6.45pm eve so I have to cook dinner and wash/ put our son to bed.

My husband is ready to have 2nd baby but I’m really hesitant because I find work and looking after our son so stressful at the moment, I don’t know how I’d manage with two!

By no means do I have things worse than anyone but I just feel like I don’t know what to do about 2nd baby decision, as I keep holding back, wishing there was a way I could go part time again, but with a mortgage that’s only going to increase when we re-mortgage in 2 years, it’s unlikely. Plus husband doesn’t want me to go PT as he feels we should use that money to save for hols etc.

I feel so conflicted and down by this dilemma - I want to look forward to 2nd baby, but feel like I’m struggling so much as it is 🙁.

I’m not really looking for solutions, I just wondered if anyone else had been in a similar situation?

Thanks x

[Oly4]

So sorry nobody replied to this! I just wanted to say that the early years are incredibly hard but it gets easier. I’m a FT working mother of 3 and feel run ragged a lot. But how my eldest is 7, he’s got so easy. Don’t let working put you off having a second baby.. you will regret not having another just because of work. Try to get help by having a cleaner etc and enioy the holidays with your son. And your husband is right that a FT wage can go a long way to nice holidays etc