I am sick of this shit

(81 Posts)
bitheby Sat 15-May-21 14:19:17

I have been trying to conceive for 2 years and at over 40, single and after a miscarriage last year, I am emotional, and managing the impact of possibly never having children.

I am in various Facebook groups for people considering or undertaking IVF and made this comment.

Just had the following response. I've had it. Perhaps rather immaturely I refused to edit my language and have left the group. There was nothing factually incorrect about what I wrote.

OP’s posts: |
FuriousFemale Sat 15-May-21 14:20:27

oh FFS. I don't blame you

Mulletsaremisunderstood Sat 15-May-21 14:22:27

Ah here, talk about insensitive. Why are we not allowed to use the word woman when referring to IVF - utter nonsense.

ComDummings Sat 15-May-21 14:24:38

I don’t blame you, what a ridiculous response to your post!

Brieminewine Sat 15-May-21 14:24:48

No I wouldn’t edit it either. I can’t stand the way the world is going! Sorry for your losses OP, what a shitty comment to kick you when your down.

justawoman76 Sat 15-May-21 14:24:55

Please edit your language to tell lies and deny biological facts.
Don't blame you for leaving, they sound like utter idiots.

sunshineandhappy Sat 15-May-21 14:26:02

Ridiculous response by them. Why does every single debate about women's health and well-being have to be reduced to this?


Lemmen Sat 15-May-21 14:26:36

flowers sorry OP.

There is no excuse for their behaviour.

MonkeyNotOrgangrinder Sat 15-May-21 14:27:54

What a load of shit. Back in the real world EVERYONE knows only women need IVF.
I hope anyone reading this who seeks to police women's language and how we talk about our own bodies realises that normal people think you are absolutely ridiculous 🙄
OP, I hope you have some good news soon. Sorry you've had to put up with this shit while going through a difficult time flowers

toffeebutterpopcorn Sat 15-May-21 14:29:43

How toy didn’t reply (channeling Magdelin Berns) ‘oh eff off you w*****’

Mulletsaremisunderstood Sat 15-May-21 14:36:45


Ridiculous response by them. Why does every single debate about women's health and well-being have to be reduced to this?

Exactly, it's tedious! And of course, men's health issues are unabashedly all about men, without any questioning.

It's only women being harassed about this stuff. Tells me everything I need to know.

Inclusive my arse.

Sexnotgender Sat 15-May-21 14:39:16

This shit needs to get in the fucking bin.

I’m sorry you’re finding conceiving so difficult 💐

lifeissweet Sat 15-May-21 14:41:02

FFS. Was that even written by a transman, or was it a jumped up 'ally'? I'll bet it's the latter.

Just what you don't need when talking about this stuff is the language police.

I'm sorry, OP.

Changednameforthispost11 Sat 15-May-21 14:43:16

I am sick and tired of it too and I couldn’t agree with you more.

We are heading down a particularly scary path and the future looks bleak for us. I can’t see how this will blow over unless those in authority can start to stand up for us.

The fact that people are being taken to court when they have stated biological facts is absolutely crazy!!

PlanDeRaccordement Sat 15-May-21 14:44:47

I would have done same OP. Don’t think that is immature response at all.

Wandawomble Sat 15-May-21 14:47:00

Ridiculous and stupid. In the real world this shit is going to get shut down soon enough as more people get sick of it.

cuteglasses Sat 15-May-21 14:47:42

Utterly ridiculous

Nonmaquillee Sat 15-May-21 14:50:27

I would also have done the same. Only biological women can have IVF.

The fact that this group considers it more important to spout such gaslighting nonsense than to support you as a woman on a painful journey speaks volumes. I hope other women leave the group too and then perhaps you can create your own group free of this BS.

Wishing you luck.

EverythingWasGolden Sat 15-May-21 14:55:52

That response from the FB group can get to fuck. Absolute virtue signalling pish.

Absolutely sick of this shit is right. Hopefully some of the other women in the group backed you up and didn't just think 'isn't it lovely how inclusive and kind this group is'

EverythingWasGolden Sat 15-May-21 14:56:49

As for 'gestational carriers' confused

langclegflavoredbananamush Sat 15-May-21 15:00:18

I hope you do manage to have children, and a place where you can discuss the issues affecting you without this kind of crap.

More and more of us are getting sicker and sicker of this kind of shit. They keep insisting on language that alienates women, that is designed to fragment the humans formerly known as women into unrelated groups, and to validate their misogynistic ideology. And they are getting away with it again and again. I hope we reach the tipping point soon, women have enough other things to be dealing with...

PigeonPants Sat 15-May-21 15:08:58

Assuming that "correction" is in good faith, it's a case of people being uneducated and not understanding basic logic.

If someone says "many types of musrooms are poisonous, so be very careful when foraging", is that incorrect and offensive because they didn't mention that, say, berries and snakes can also be poisonous? No, because the original statement IS correct and makes the point that the poster wanted to make. If I say it's raining in Paris, that doesn't in any way imply that it's ONLY raining in Paris, and NOT raining in any other location. If someone wants to ADD that it's raining in Luxembourg or Port Stanley or Shangri-La too, feel free.

I'd just say "thanks for the additional information", at most. Or just ignore. No need to edit as the other person has added their point to yours and everyone can see it.

Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel Sat 15-May-21 15:09:07

I'm sorry OP Of course they're absolutely fucking ridiculous.

Leafstamp Sat 15-May-21 15:09:56

flowers for you OP

That sort of shit does my head in too and it’s so unkind to pick apart your language within a support group.

forsucksfake Sat 15-May-21 15:10:07

Imagine a Christian or a Muslim asking group members to tailor their language to recognise their beliefs. A Christian would get laughed out of the group. A Muslim might get a sympathetic explanation that all faiths are welcome, with some conciliation.

But men, or women who claim to be men, join a women's group and everyone has to accommodate them by pretending sexed bodies aren't real. Insanity.

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