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DD wants a breast reduction.(170 Posts)
Her breast are not too big for her body, they do not cause her back pain and she would not be able to get on on the NHS. She says she wants a reduction because she feels disgusted when she looks at how big her boobs are.
She is a 32EE and a size 8 top and bottom for reference. She is 18, 2nd year uni and has an internship this summer which would fully cover the cost of the procedure. She has said it’s been bothering her for years and has no issue of it causes her to be unable to breastfeed as she doesn’t want children.
I think she would like to go down to a B to C.
Is there any links or advice I can give her. I am happy for her to do it if she considers all the risks but I know the plastic surgery regret rate is quite high so I want to inform her of all the risks.
I would try and persuade her to delay the decision for a few years. Lots of people say they don't want childrdn when they are aged 18. Doesn't mean they will feel the same in 10 or 15 years. Eighteen is very young to opt for this type of surgery IMHO.
@Viviennemary I mean she has done her research and has a an argument that most women in the U.K. don’t breastfeed anyway. So it won’t really prevent her having children if she does change her mind. I know the children argument will be a non starter with her because of this and I don’t want to make it seem like I’m not listening to her. If she said she definitely wanted children I wouldn’t be telling her she might change her mind.
She's 18 - of course she doesn't want children. Very few of us do at that age. There's no way she's in a position to make a call on that at the moment.
Has she been properly measured and fitted for a supportive/minimising bra? Properly supporting them could make a big difference to how she feels.
Someone of that age having surgery to permanently change their body is just so unnecessary. She's only just finished growing, she'll still be getting used to her body as a woman. How sad that she's so uncomfortable with it.
I would be very much pushing against this if I were you. I know technically she's an adult etc but this is such a huge decision to make and it just doesn't sit right that she could do something like this and then end up regretting it a couple of years down the line.
FWIW my DS got a tattoo on his 18th birthday. He was adamant he wanted it, had been planning it for years. Two years later and he now wishes he'd done it a different way. Would still have got one but potentially not the same one. Luckily he doesn't wish he'd not had it done at all and there was literally no talking him out of it at the time, but if it had been something as drastic and potentially life altering as the surgery your DD wants I'd have been very upset if he went through with it.
I did ask her to wait a bit but she replied that now is when she’d have the most recovery time as in a job she wouldn’t get paid leave for long after surgery whereas at universities she has loads of holidays.
If there were a magic risk free way of getting them reduced, I would too, it's a nightmare. Mine are cartoonishly disproportionate, and I live in 28g sports bras.
My concerns around surgery are things like scarring, pain, that the breast tissue might grow back later, and also breastfeeding. As a pp said, up until my 30s, I didn't want children either, and then the bloody biological clock clicked in.
Not that there's anything you can do about any of this of course.
Has she tried posting to places like reddit and googling for stories about outcomes?
I don't have any advice but I don't believe she can be a size 8 top and a 32E bra size. It's far far more likely she is a much smaller back size and correspondingly much bigger cup size - size 8 tops in correct fitting bras would typically be around a 28 back. She's probably more like a 28G - and I don't mean to be flippant but wearing well fitting bras can make a big difference to confidence, appearance and comfort so if you can gently suggest she has a fitting with a reputable company like Bravissimo (or use the Boob or Bust calculator) in the meantime I would do so.
@MarkRuffaloCrumble yes she has been fitted and that’s when she found her bra size. I also think success stories on tiktok have influenced her, the young women on their seem to have become much more confident after the surgery. I do agree that she should wait but there aren’t really many convincing factors except ‘You may regret it.’
I have a relative that has the procedure done in her early 20’s, she got it done on the NHS and was so much happier after surgery, she has had children since and not being able to breast feed didn’t bother her. She went from EE to a B cup.
I don't think its just the issue of having children. A breast reduction at 18. It just seems a little young unless it was a case of her breasts causing backpain or one breast being larger than the other then I think it should certainly be considered. Would it be worth having a consultation with a reputable clinic to discuss it if she is very determined.
@cinammonbuns the only reason she might want to wait is that they might grow back (mind did, I was 17 when I had it done) and had a repeat op in my late twenties.
I was very similar size and proportions to her and both ops were the best thing I've ever done - no regrets and so much more confident. I only regret not getting my second op sooner!
It's everything. The feeling, the weight, the way people (men!) look at you - I remember it well as a late teen and lived in baggy clothes because of it.
One possible suggestion; I have gone down a full cup size in the last year just by losing some weight and doing regular exercise like boxercise and weight lifting - so I would recommend that as well. Being as healthy as possible pre-surgery will help her to recover too.
@zzizzer I understand she may change her mind about kids. But 1. I don’t want to reinforce that a women will always eventually want kids as that is simply not true and kind of feeds into the idea that a woman who doesn’t want them has something wrong with her.
And 2. She has rightly pointed out that most women in the U.K. don’t breastfeed for long if at all. It’s not a barrier to having children at all. I didn’t breastfeed her as she had absolutely no interest in breast milk.
I will tell her that the breast tissue may grow back rendering the surgery useless. I don’t know if talking about recovery and scarring would make her consider more as she recently has a medically necessary surgery which she recovered well form but I have heard breast surgery after effects are quite bad.
Well, if she's funding it herself then there isn't much you can do, short of pointing out the risks (with any surgery under general, death is a possibility and there'll be other possible complications to this specific surgery) and the pitfalls (breasts swell and shrink regularly due to hormones and especially in pregnancy, so she may well end up lopsided and needing further corrective surgery) and her inexperience (what we think we know about ourselves at 18 is often totally different to what we think we know about ourselves at 30, for instance).
I'd say you're very concerned that she'll live to regret it but you're aware it's her body and therefore her choice.
I would echo that I'm a size 18 and a 32 back size so at a size 8 I doubt she is.
I found a proper size bra life changing and my boobs hurt enormously as a teen and not at all once I was in my 20s. And now in my 40s lockdown has made me happily wander around without a bra - a situation I would have thought impossible when these huge painful monsters grew on my chest age 11.
I really started to change my mind about them after a Rigby and Peller appointment.
I’ve got 36JJs and have had since I was 12. Went through hating them as a teen because I had to wear rubbish, boring bras and couldn’t wear stroppy little vests and the like.
Always maintained I wanted a reduction and when I was around 22 I properly looked into it but I was out off by the risks and possible side effects- one of which is no sensation in the nipples and potentially all over and around the breast due to all the slicing through nerves. Another is the very high risk of infection due to all of the slicing and dicing that goes into it (a reduction is really two procedures in one as it also involves a lift at the same time). Healing is also known to be really slow and complicated with a breast reduction. This all felt like a lot of variables and risks for something unnecessary really (like your DD I had some discomfort but couldn’t, with hand on heart, say I had back pain). But the thing that put me off more than anything was the likelihood of my breasts growing back. This is apparently quite common, especially as you age, rendering the whole thing useless and a total waste of a huge amount of money (if not done on the NHS) that I didn’t fancy just throwing up in the air.
For what it’s worth I made peace with my breasts in my twenties and now as I near forty, I’m quite fond of them. I know your daughter says she doesn’t want kids, but if that changes and she does have them, she could well find that feeding them naturally helps her feelings about her breasts- definitely when I breastfed my girls I finally felt like I’d found the “point” of carrying round an extra couple of stone for 20 odd years.
On balance, I would say it’s something she should think about at length and maybe wait a few years before embarking on.
I had this surgery at 18.
My breasts were bigger than your daughter's but i felt horrified by the negative attention they brought me. I wanted them smaller and I had it done on the NHS. No, I couldn't breastfeed past a couple of weeks but I am still so happy I had the surgery. It will be 19 years ago this year and I have zero regrets, but I know for sure I would have been so unhappy to keep my breasts at the size they were
OP, I had this surgery between my children and breastfed DC2 for longer than DC1 (partly as less issues due to smaller size/more confidence etc) so it's not a given you can't. Whilst it would be good to wait due to her age, I cannot recommend this surgery enough, it's been life changing for me. It's given me so much confidence at work being able to dress smartly and easily find clothes as in proportion, together with being happier and healthier as exercise is easier.
@MeadowHay thank you I will tell her to get measured when she can. I was surprised at the size too as her breasts don’t look that big to me and I wondered if they got it wrong. It was at M&S I’m not sure how good they are.
I think she has some good bras, some bad ones she is on a student budget but maybe if I offer to buy her some it may help. The problem is she is not really worried about support but more about size and would want a bra that made them look much smaller.
Oh god no, M and S are notorious. They had me in 36c or something for years. Then I went to Bravissimo and John Lewis, came out with 30gg from both, and the change was amazing.
My friend had it done in her 50s, so not really comparable. She doesn't regret it but I've noticed they seem to have grown back. Don't know if this is common, if the fat just redistributes. And there are big scars.
Has she had a proper bra fitting at somewhere like Bravissimo .. a well fitting bra can make a big difference to how you feel.
It's actually not a given that you can't breastfeed after reduction or indeed enlargement. Obviously it all depends on the type of surgery/surgeon's skill etc but it's really not an either or situation.
To be honest, I hate my enormous breasts and I can completely see where she's coming from.
I think 18 is too young to go ahead with this, however sure she is.
However, the 2 women I know who have had this done (mid 20's) have no regrets at all. They were able to get sufficient time off work to recover.
So, I would say not to rule it out at all, but just give it a couple of years to be absolutely sure.
M&S?! Say no more.
They are absolutely shite and should be banned from bra measuring. They still add 4 inches on the back for starters.
Get a Boob or Bust measurement and the lovely ladies on Style and Beauty will have lots of recommendations on minimizing, 18 yr old appropriate bras of the right size.