Everyday sexism

[Frogsonglue]

Standing in a queue waiting for my CV vaccine today, I heard the volunteer steward (male, 60s) talking to a man behind me. He was describing a "lady jogger" who came in off the street to have her vaccine last weekend (ie she wasn't booked in but they had spare) - she "hardly had anything on" and he "could have vaccinated more like her" fnar fnar. I felt totally sick and after standing there fuming for a few moments, I turned around and asked him how he thought overhearing that sort of thing made women feel. He said sorry but gave no inclination he really thought it was a big deal.

Throughout the rest of the process I was shaking and fighting panic, and had to really talk myself into going through with it. I don't think I could have let a man vaccinate me at that point (thankfully the nurse was female). It might seem like a bit of an overreaction but I've always been on a bit of a hair trigger around medical procedures and male hcps for various reasons. Anyway.

Several hours later I still feel really pissed off, and wished I'd been able to gather my thoughts better at the time. It's so fucking depressing that we can't even have a Covid vaccine without wondering if male volunteers are leering at our bodies and rating our attractiveness. Incidents like this make me feel that life would be easier if I don't have to interact anymore with men I don't know since you can't know who the creepy ones are. I don't really want to live like this. Fuck, it's so exhausting.

[thepuredrop]

It’s a horrible thing to overhear. I would be inclined to report it to the vaccination centre.

[Frogsonglue]

I have been thinking about that. I'm not sure how to - it's a hub that's been set up in a church, I think it's run by our local gp surgery. I'm going to look into it I think.

[Leafstamp]

That was an awful thing for him to have said, especially within hearing distance. I’m sorry you had to deal with this. My heart would have been pounding too.

I second reporting it to the centre.

[Usernamenotavailabletryanother]

Please do report- I had a soldier administer my second vaccine in my local health centre.

To put me at my ease, he told me ‘When I do it, you don’t feel it going in, then you put your clothes back on and go home’. Twice.

I wondered if I was overreacting and it wasn’t until another (male NHS) member of staff asked me how I was that I realised I was not, and made a complaint.

[MeadowHay]

That's vile. Definitely report it if you feel able to.

[Frogsonglue]

Fucking hell username that is appalling. I'm so sorry that happened to you, and I hope your complaint was taken seriously.

I think what's upset me the most is the feeling that, I go about my business assuming that everyone I encounter views me as a full human being and an equal, then something like this happens and I realise no, we're just meat. It makes me feel so powerless, and part of my reluctance to speak up comes from a fear of being dismissed and laughed at. I've no doubt the men in the queue behind me were rolling their eyes at me. It's just shit.

[WellIWasInTheNeighbourhoo]

I am more and more revolted by men every day. Most of them collude in this sort of crap, or ignore it or think we're over reacting, even if they're not perpetrating it themselves. I project utter disdain to all of them, they only get full human status in my eyes after they proven they deserve it. A small dose of their own medicine.

My one hope is that the internet has allowed women to share our stories on an unprecedented scale, so at least we're all wising up to it. And its not just old men, the young ones are worse, but they know enough to keep it to themselves unless anonymous.

[Mylittlepony374]

God that's gross. I'd definitely report him. Sorry you had to hear that.

[Frogsonglue]

"I project utter disdain to all of them, they only get full human status in my eyes after they proven they deserve it."

Yes this sums up where I'm about at now.

[ginandbearit]

Every post adolescent male who isnt exclusively homosexual will at some stage of their interactions with you wonder , to some degree or other, what you look like naked, what it would be like to have sex with you , what noises you might make having sex, what underwear you have on ...these will often just be fleeting thoughts, and not every time(and ok probably namalt) but yes, men assess the sexual attributes of women all the time . Will never stop, only socialization and education will stop.it being vebalised or acted on , but the thoughts will often be there .

[AssassinatedBeauty]

@ginandbearit

Every post adolescent male who isnt exclusively homosexual will at some stage of their interactions with you wonder , to some degree or other, what you look like naked, what it would be like to have sex with you , what noises you might make having sex, what underwear you have on ...these will often just be fleeting thoughts, and not every time(and ok probably namalt) but yes, men assess the sexual attributes of women all the time . Will never stop, only socialization and education will stop.it being vebalised or acted on , but the thoughts will often be there .

No one cares if the thoughts are happening, no one is looking to control the thoughts of others. It's the ability to realise that the thoughts are private and that it's utterly inappropriate to verbalise them, act on them etc if the situation is a normal human social interaction. Totally different to, say, if you're on a date with someone.

[Frogsonglue]

AssassinatedBeauty exactly.

[TheHandmadeTail]

That would have made me feel so uncomfortable, how horrible. Do complain if you feel able.