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Feminism: Sex & gender discussions

Dr Jess Taylor from Victim Focus

16 replies

MaudTheInvincible · 12/03/2021 13:47

Wants to hear from women in the UK [who have been] subjected to all forms of male violence.

https://twitter.com/DrJessTaylor/status/1370336494423044100?s=20

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SirVixofVixHall · 12/03/2021 15:47

Bumping.

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334bu · 12/03/2021 16:43

Have just filled this in and feeling quite upset about how much abuse some people must have suffered. My life has really been quite charmed in comparison. However, I suppose " low level" abuse and it's frequency is important too.

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ValancyRedfern · 12/03/2021 17:03

Done

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Callmejudith · 12/03/2021 18:37

Interesting that Caitlin Moran has retweeted this....is she peaking?

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CaveMum · 12/03/2021 18:44

@334bu

Have just filled this in and feeling quite upset about how much abuse some people must have suffered. My life has really been quite charmed in comparison. However, I suppose " low level" abuse and it's frequency is important too.

I felt the same. I’m one of the lucky ones, the vast majority of my experiences are low level - catcalling, having my bum/boobs groped in a nightclub, etc. There are a few exceptions that filling the survey in brought back to me - the slightly older boy on my street who asked to “look in my pants” when we were playing in his house aged about 5; the guy on a date when I was 19 who thought it was acceptable to stick his hand down the front of my jeans while we were dancing, despite me trying to pull away.
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MaudTheInvincible · 12/03/2021 19:49

Do you think these things always sound horrible when other people tell them, like really horrible, but our own experiences become less shocking to us because we've lived with them and processed them and (for want of a better word) normalised them somewhat?

Thanks

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ArabellaScott · 12/03/2021 19:52

Would like to warn people that it is quite a horrible thing to relive all these things. A bit jarring to actually write it all down.

Take care of yourselves, take a break if you need to. Flowers

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FemaleAndLearning · 12/03/2021 20:24

Maud
I guess everyone is different. Whilst j was in my abusive relationship it was all very normal only once I left did I comprehend how bad things were and his abnormal my life was.

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TalkToTheWind · 12/03/2021 21:16

@ArabellaScott

Would like to warn people that it is quite a horrible thing to relive all these things. A bit jarring to actually write it all down.

Take care of yourselves, take a break if you need to. Flowers

It's an important study but I agree about self care... self care at the Wind household has been a bottle of red...
WineThanks
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Siablue · 12/03/2021 21:34

I had filled it in a while ago. It is quite challenging to do. I do think that you normalise a lot of what has happened to you.

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TheFnozwhowasmirage · 12/03/2021 21:35

Done. Its quite telling when you really have to think about how many times/ how old you were when you were cat called in the street,and that you realise that it's been happening for so long that you've normalised it. I can't even remember the first time I received an unwanted comment or unwelcome attention,it seems a constant.

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334bu · 12/03/2021 21:45

Bumped

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EmbarrassingAdmissions · 12/03/2021 21:50

I filled it in and it left me very dispirited (that's no reason not to have done it). It was a shock to realise that normalisation meant that it would never have occurred to me to report so many of those items (particularly when I was

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ArabellaScott · 12/03/2021 22:04

@Siablue

I had filled it in a while ago. It is quite challenging to do. I do think that you normalise a lot of what has happened to you.

Completely. It's jarring to see it described in clinical terms. To see it in writing, even.

Wine and Flowers to everyone.
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Councilworker · 12/03/2021 22:10

My answers were so often "men in the street" man I didn't know. Male colleagues. In fact I remembered a couple of incidents that happened in 2 work places which are low level but tie into the whole perception of women just being there for male pleasure. In one I literally bent down to tie my shoe lace and a male colleague jabbed another one in the arm and stood over me and said while you're there love what can you do for me. I was only 21. It's nothing in the grand scheme but I felt so embarrassed when it happened and never ever wanted to be near him again.

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WendyTestaburger · 12/03/2021 22:16

I'm so pleased she's doing this. Going from personal /friends experience I think that women report to the police even less than we think and that sexual violence from strangers is more common than we think.

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