For one mother, the momentous High Court decision marked the end of a desperate year-long battle to prevent her autistic teenage daughter from being sucked into what she believes is a dangerous programme of experimental therapies at the controversial Tavistock clinic in London.
Had she not intervened by joining in the judicial review to stop the clinic doling out the drugs, her 16-year-old daughter risked suffering irreversible physical changes and destroying her chances of having children.
But while others celebrated, mother- of-three Angela, whose name we have changed for legal reasons, kept her profound sense of relief very much under wraps.
For what few have known until now is that her daughter is unaware she was at the centre of the landmark case – and that her mother has no intention of telling her.
She continued: ‘I am convinced the Tavistock wouldn’t have tried to dissuade her from going on puberty blockers. They would have affirmed her belief in being trans.
‘I know that because by the third letter we had from the clinic, they were already referring to her by her chosen male pronouns, having never even met her.’
“ But the forums brooked ‘no deviation at all’ from a stringent trans orthodoxy which encouraged children to denounce their own parents. Angela said: ‘If parents don’t support their child 100 per cent [in their aim to be trans], they are automatically painted as evil bigots. Children are told, “You need to get out of the house, live somewhere else. Cut anybody out of your life who isn’t totally behind you.”
We see that with our daughter - she’s fed a constant stream of smears from her friends and others who ought to know better. It’s like fighting a tidal wave and all we can do is hope that we’ve created enough of a loving safe environment at home and strong bonds with her. It’s utterly frightening.
When we had our first telephone contact with the Tavistock the first thing they asked was which pronouns my son went by.
I feel we were lucky in our dealings with the Tavistock, we had a wonderful family therapist called Frank Aust in our sessions, he encouraged my son to question everything and very much said ‘there’s no rush for medication’.
Unfortunately, he left after just over a year of working there, I wonder why...?
If you don’t mind, What has the quality of the service been like since that clinician left? And has your son continued to receive explorative mental health treatment or is it merely affirming?
the forums will include Mermaids et al. Time for a major rethink by all these organisations. They have been a disgrace. Mrs A you are indeed a brave woman who has fought against a tidal wave of misinformation and downright lies.
An excellent article that lays bare the level of online pressure there is on vulnerable children. Many thanks to "Angela' and Keira for this - the outcome is so important in finally ensuring that this vulnerable group are safeguarded.
*But the forums brooked ‘no deviation at all’ from a stringent trans orthodoxy which encouraged children to denounce their own parents. Angela said: ‘If parents don’t support their child 100 per cent [in their aim to be trans], they are automatically painted as evil bigots. Children are told, “You need to get out of the house, live somewhere else. Cut anybody out of your life who isn’t totally behind you.” ‘We didn’t realise the extent to which she was immersing herself in all this. She was radicalised online. It’s only now we realise how far she went down that rabbit hole.’*
Re forums, I think it's also now general popular culture among teens. It is radicalisation; I had to do the online government Prevent training for work and sat through it seeing all the parallels, especially alienation from family.
I read recently a post on fb about a mum wasn't sure how to deal with her autistic daughter who's started to come out as 'non binary,' after coming out as lesbian, but uses very threatening violent language to assert her "new identity" (new name.) "dead name me and I'll <violent acts> " etc.
The aggression around this if there's any query is worrying, it sounds like clinicians have also experienced this.
Regarding the YouTube films, yes the algorithm a few years ago was worse and only showed you the same films. It's still rubbish now even through they've tried to change it. The algorithm has been directly linked to a rise in flat earthers too.
Thank you Angela I have one diagnosed autistic daughter and one undiagnosed. I wish there were more gender critical voices in the Facebook parent support groups I am in. I have to be very careful what I say but I try and get the alternative side out there when I see yet another parent of an autistic girl who wants to support them being trans.
I think what Angela says here is really important: Angela continued: ‘I did this to safeguard Kate’s long-term future. But it was also a question of medical ethics. There is an absolute crisis in a service that is supposed to be doing good, helping kids.’
I can't believe any of this gets through a medical ethics committee, is there even one and is it independent?
I always wanted to know about your background. It was courageous to go to court to safeguard your daughter and brave to tell us what has been happening in your family.
I always wanted to know about your background. It was courageous to go to court to safeguard your daughter and brave to tell us what has been happening in your family.
Same here. Kudos for keeping it all a secret from your daughter -- I can't imagine how difficult that must have been -- and how vital. And how caring.
Winesalot Once we had our last meeting it was also one of Frank’s last meetings, (incidentally we were also one of his first meetings!) my son was 18 so was out of their remit. And for this I am actually slightly relieved, I think we hit the jackpot with Frank, and I don’t think we would have been so lucky again. He realised that my son had internalised homophobia and asked him to explore that, Frank seemed genuinely happy when my son told him he had a boyfriend!
The other therapist who was present in our last few meetings (there were 2 in each meeting, our previous one had gone on maternity leave) struck me as a wet dishcloth, I can’t imagine her challenging anyone’s views, especially not a vocal teenager who was desperate for PB’s.
My son now has the choice of going to the adult services, which is a medical treatment route only. He seems to have desisted a bit, but I am a bit of a coward and don’t like to bring it up in case it prompts him to do something - stupid I know.
I forgot to say, a big thank you to Mrs A and - I never thought I would say this - to the Mail on Sunday for publishing such a sunlight bringing article, on the front page no less!
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