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Invited to chat to school

(27 Posts)
youdidask Fri 25-Sep-20 11:13:47

Oh wise vipers some guidance if you please.

The school sent out it's policy on PSHE and I went through it with a fine tooth comb having learnt a lot from these very boards.

The head has responded very positively and is going to review where they have used gender instead of sex!

Victory- happy dance

I have also been invited to talk to the relevant staff on my questions about who was providing external materials etc.

Help me formulate who I should be pointing them to and who they should be avoiding. This is especially important since the fishtailed organisation has done a reverse ferret.

I don't want to sound bigoted.
I want homosexual children to feel happy and safe expressing themselves, I want gender non conforming children to live their best lives without being labelled trans.

OP’s posts: |
FindTheTruth Fri 25-Sep-20 11:23:17

OP the updated government guidance yesterday is perfect for you grin

thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4032584-Updated-relationships-sex-and-health-curriculum-guidance

ShagMeRiggins Fri 25-Sep-20 11:24:16

I’ve just done the very same thing—deep breaths—and while I haven’t heard back I thought it was the perfect opportunity as three of my children attend the same secondary, which is reviewing all safeguarding and gender/RSE etc policies in Autumn 2020.

How could I miss this opportunity?

ShagMeRiggins Fri 25-Sep-20 11:27:41

OP is yours secondary as well?

youdidask Fri 25-Sep-20 11:29:14

It is. But academy so the guidance covered primary as well.

I did tell them that fishtailed ones were particularly problematic.

I'm loving the new guidance!

OP’s posts: |
persistentwoman Fri 25-Sep-20 11:38:41

It's now so straightforward. Every single one of these lobby groups undermined safeguarding of children - all the evidence is there in the trans guidelines country wide. Impossible for them to hide from this.

And the reminder to schools about education law that forbids schools involving political activist groups is helpful:
Schools should not under any circumstances use resources produced by organisations that take extreme political stances on matters. This is the case even if the material itself is not extreme, as the use of it could imply endorsement or support of the organisation .
The examples include:
opposition to the right of freedom of speech, freedom of association, freedom of assembly or freedom of religion and conscience
&
a failure to condemn illegal activities done in their name or in support of their cause, particularly violent actions against people or property

The first one must disbar every organisation that signed up to #nodebate doesn't it?

youdidask Fri 25-Sep-20 12:08:16

Is there a list somewhere? Of the nodebaters?

OP’s posts: |
wellbehavedwomen Fri 25-Sep-20 12:33:54

a failure to condemn illegal activities done in their name or in support of their cause, particularly violent actions against people or property

Which of them have condemned, unequivocally, the rape and death threats to Rowling?

zanahoria Fri 25-Sep-20 12:38:48

I wouldn't worry about sounding bigoted as you are obviously not.

I would worry about false accusations of bigotry.

Remember that distinction and you will not go far wrong

FindTheTruth Fri 25-Sep-20 12:39:07

Is there a list somewhere? Of the nodebaters?

list of people who signed this letter? possibly hiyamaya.files.wordpress.com/2020/06/letter.pdf

ArabellaScott Fri 25-Sep-20 12:40:25

How bloody lovely that you can bring the new DfE guidance with you and be completely backed up by it. I am so thrilled and pleased with this unexpected turn. It's such a weight off.

Well done, OP!

zanahoria Fri 25-Sep-20 12:51:55

Emphasis it is a discussion and all opinions are welcome. I am sure most teachers are getting sick to the back teeth of 'training' about these matters, after these are all intelligent people.

Suffrajester Fri 25-Sep-20 13:10:29

Quite right! You're the opposite of homophobic, you're stopping kids who may be gay or lesbian from being pathologised and told they're in the wrong bodies.

Jintyfer Fri 25-Sep-20 13:32:46

youdidask

Oh wise vipers some guidance if you please.

The school sent out it's policy on PSHE and I went through it with a fine tooth comb having learnt a lot from these very boards.

The head has responded very positively and is going to review where they have used gender instead of sex!

Victory- happy dance

I have also been invited to talk to the relevant staff on my questions about who was providing external materials etc.

Help me formulate who I should be pointing them to and who they should be avoiding. This is especially important since the fishtailed organisation has done a reverse ferret.

I don't want to sound bigoted.
I want homosexual children to feel happy and safe expressing themselves, I want gender non conforming children to live their best lives without being labelled trans.


Me too!! I shall be watching this thread for tips as I want to be as informed as possible. I've had many email conversations with my son's new secondary school already but the anti was upped the other week when I discovered they are a Stonewall Champion school. That's moved the goalposts. This morning I emailed them highlighting in red loads of stuff from the new RSE guidance. I want to know what they plan to teach in PSHE too. I've asked loads of direct questions and although they have been receptive, I haven't had straight answers yet. We shall see.

persistentwoman Fri 25-Sep-20 13:51:07

Jintyfer
Sadly there are a lot of people in education who are going to have to reverse some of their previous decisions. The Mermaids reverse ferret is an interesting display and I suppose we are going to have to be gracious and allow people in schools to quietly backtrack on some of their previous pronouncements/ actions.

sashh Sat 26-Sep-20 06:21:32

I read this yesterday but didn't get round to responding.

I think I would start with some examples of legal discrimination and good practice eg most schools only allow staff and disabled students to use the lift, but most also have a policy of not having one student and one adult in the lift, there has to be either 2 staff or two students. It's a form of discrimination but it is quite legal and is there to safeguard both the student and adult.

youdidask Sat 26-Sep-20 09:18:30

To be fair to the school their policy is sound and balanced- once they changed gender back to sex! I'm more than happy they will be pushing the love yourself whoever that maybe message.

The chat is about my concerns and questions about the outside groups, training and who they point kids to for more advice etc.

OP’s posts: |
FindTheTruth Sat 26-Sep-20 11:36:11

Help me formulate who they should be avoiding. This is especially important since the fishtailed organisation has done a reverse ferret.

@youdidask will examples like this help?

ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings Sat 26-Sep-20 12:11:52

I'm pretty sure that if you look on the transgender trend website they've done a review of all the external school guidance/groups. I think it's free to download as a PDF from their shop, or you can send a physical copy to the school at a discount.

youdidask Sat 26-Sep-20 12:25:05

Thank you!

OP’s posts: |
Jintyfer Sun 27-Sep-20 19:22:00

Hi all of you following this thread, out of interest, and in case I don't hear back from Transgender Trend before 4 pm tomorrow (when I'm having a meeting with my son's school's Safeguarding Lead/Dept Head) what is a sensible and recommended alternative to the Stonewall Diversity School Champion scheme? I'm planning on attempting to persuade my son's secondary school to cut ties with them - which they might do anyway, given the new guidance - but not sure how tied in with them they are. That won't stop me though, they know fine well that's my agenda and I've already explained in emails why.

They have, however, been very receptive, just went quite quiet last week, possibly because they knew the updated guidance was due. But I want this meeting to be really to the point but also very positive. I'd like to be able to point them to other organisations for support to help the gender non-conforming/questioning kids at the school.

They are a great school, their pastoral care is amazing, I know they want to do the right thing. I also finally want a straight answer as to what RSE they'll be teaching, aside from the gender stuff.

Either way, I'll report back how the meeting went, it might be useful for other parents about to do the same thing. Thanks. x

OneEpisode Sun 27-Sep-20 19:42:00

what is a sensible and recommended alternative to the Stonewall Diversity School Champion scheme
Save the money? Transgender Trend can be used for free. Spend the cash on the children. www.stonewall.org.uk/stonewall-school-college-champion-membership
Scroll down for the basic annual membership costs. Additional services extra. Maybe ask what it costs the school at present, all in?

persistentwoman Sun 27-Sep-20 19:48:59

I don't know that there is an alternative? And that's probably a good thing. Getting a school to focus so intensively on one of the protected characteristics is likely to be to the detriment of others.
Why not suggest that the school takes a number of the key protected characteristics on a term by term basis with a focus on curriculum / bullying / peer support etc rather than devoting so much attention to just LGBT issues. For example - does the school's work on race, sex and SEN match the effort put into LGBT? If not, why not and what are they doing about it?

SuitedandBooted Sun 27-Sep-20 20:52:22

I am starting to feel a growing sense of relief now.

Perhaps I won't have to keep crossing out "Gender" and writing "Sex" on school info sheets soon! If a school wants to know about any health problems my children might have, knowing their SEX is quite important...!

Jintyfer Sun 27-Sep-20 21:21:58

Thanks @OneEpisode and @persistentwoman you raise very good points. Tbh, I don't really want them to do anything similar with any other organisation and I bet TT will be able to offer them all the advice they need, if they want it.

Interesting about the cost to be SW Champs though, I hadn't seen the page before. But I do think they are capable of standing on their two feet and I'm wondering if they just bowed to pressure to join Stonewall in the first place. We shall see.

@SuitedandBooted I'm feeling relieved too but also VERY empowered. My voice and tone with the school became even more confident at the end of last week because I know I have the support of the Government in speaking up now. I just wish more parents would. I posted the Guardian piece about the guidance on my Facebook, to everyone, not even restricted, like I normally do, and hardly anyone batted an eyelid. Or if they did, they kept quiet. Unless I'm being shadow banned and hardly anyone saw it. That a think on FAcebook? Why oh why are people and parents STILL not speaking up? I've been so vocal. I hoped I'd start a trend amongst my friends but not really. Hey ho at least I've not been called a bigot yet, yay! wink

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