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The NHS is run by misogynists, say women forced to give birth alone

(191 Posts)
MillyMollyFarmer Sun 20-Sep-20 13:54:00

Tory MP Alicia Kearns has been running a campaign to make all NHS trusts change the policies around women giving birth and for pregnancy check ups during Covid. It’s horrific but I didn’t realise it was still ongoing now. This includes women who have lost their babies and have to proceed with the process alone as partners wait outside. I’m so utterly horrified at the inhumane way they are dealing with this. It’s unnecessary. Apparently Boris has backed calls but some trusts are just ignoring women’s requests. I find this so upsetting.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8751493/How-one-pregnant-MP-fighting-stop-trauma-lone-births-caused-Covid-rules.html

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Melroses Sun 20-Sep-20 15:54:59

It is not like hospitals know when you are going to give birth anyway, IME.

The guidelines have moved on, but many hospitals have not.

Getbettersoon Sun 20-Sep-20 16:00:18

Lots of people are facing awful things when in desperate situations regarding their health atm. You can either believe it's done to try and keep everyone safe or to be spiteful or to make the hospital's life easier, but I don't think it's just about women.

DH had to go and face his cancer diagnosis, then being told he faced an operation that carried "significant risk of death" alone. Is it so different?

AnotherEmma Sun 20-Sep-20 16:17:01

I agree that it's not fair for cancer patients either (or for people with other conditions whose treatment has been delayed and who are not allowed to take someone with them to appointments).

However, the lack of regard for the needs of pregnant and labouring women is a feminist issue. Pregnancy and childbirth make women hugely vulnerable, and the evidence shows that the support of a partner improves birth outcomes for mothers and babies.

It is frankly unforgivable that women who have suffered previous losses have been forced to attend scans alone.

MillyMollyFarmer Sun 20-Sep-20 16:19:06

DH had to go and face his cancer diagnosis, then being told he faced an operation that carried "significant risk of death" alone. Is it so different?

It’s different to actually giving birth or going through a procedure to end a pregnancy alone, yes. But would you mind if we kept the focus to women? Instead of popping in to compare it to a man been given terrible news alone. Thanks.

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MillyMollyFarmer Sun 20-Sep-20 16:20:16

However, the lack of regard for the needs of pregnant and labouring women is a feminist issue. Pregnancy and childbirth make women hugely vulnerable, and the evidence shows that the support of a partner improves birth outcomes for mothers and babies.

Exactly this. It’s about the actual health of the women and their babies and how this affects outcomes. Women’s health is being disregarded to a large extent, during Covid, a virus that primarily impacts men.

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Getbettersoon Sun 20-Sep-20 16:27:13

I'm confused, you wanted it to be about misogyny but it's not only women who are affected by the restrictions in hospitals?

MillyMollyFarmer Sun 20-Sep-20 16:29:55

We are talking specifically about pregnancy and birth and why that’s different and that the restrictions are unnecessary and harmful to mother and baby. If you’d like to start a thread comparing all the health issues and how it affects people, feel free to do so on the coronavirus board. The article I posted is worth reading and commenting on.

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TheDecencyToChangeTheSheets Sun 20-Sep-20 16:41:21

Birth Trauma and Prenatal/Post natal care is a feminist issue and is an ongoing issue - absolutely but hospital restrictions are common bloody sense. I say that as someone who has given birth alone.

MillyMollyFarmer Sun 20-Sep-20 16:45:07

But having a partner there improves outcomes for mother and baby. So I’m not sure it is common sense or that it can’t be worked around. Particularly given that only 307 people under 60 without Pre existing conditions have died from Covid. If the staff can mask up etc how does a partner there put everyone at risk. Women giving birth alone simply isn’t justified to me, or to a lot of trusts who have since changed the policies after the initial restrictions. I note a thread on the increase in still births too.

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alreadytaken Sun 20-Sep-20 16:49:16

I've always considered myself a feminist - and I cant express politely what I'd like to say about this. I'll just say there are more important issues right now, like actually trying to keep the NHS from being overwhelmed so that women can still give birth with trained staff there to help.

PearPickingPorky Sun 20-Sep-20 16:50:57

I think, too often, women are just seen as easy pickings.

Southernsoftie76 Sun 20-Sep-20 16:51:03

Honestly I couldn’t have cared less if my partner was there or not when I gave birth, all I wanted was my midwife and a doctor down the corridor ready to come running if there was any complications. My partner was there because he wanted to be not because I wanted him there. If I had another pregnancy I would be quite happy to do scans, appointments and labour by myself. I appreciate not all women feel this way.

Southernsoftie76 Sun 20-Sep-20 16:51:57

@alreadytaken agree.

MillyMollyFarmer Sun 20-Sep-20 16:52:47

I'll just say there are more important issues right now, like actually trying to keep the NHS from being overwhelmed so that women can still give birth with trained staff there to help

I think you’re wrong there. I think single focus on Covid is risking lives elsewhere and I think dismissing women’s concerns over their health being disregarded isn’t very feminist at all. The NHS isn’t close to being overwhelmed, nor was it at the start. We must not forget all the other health issues just because of one virus. More people are dying from non Covid issues now, and the future looks bleak. I think it’s an utter government failure to forget other health issues during this and I’m dismayed to see a lot of the public have the same attitude.

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MillyMollyFarmer Sun 20-Sep-20 16:53:49

I appreciate not all women feel this way.

I’m glad you said this. Some women are giving birth to babies that have already died, alone.

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MillyMollyFarmer Sun 20-Sep-20 16:55:24

This is worth repeating

the evidence shows that the support of a partner improves birth outcomes for mothers and babies.

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bythehairsonmychinichinchin Sun 20-Sep-20 17:01:59

Which trust aren’t allowing birth partners? The guidance throughout Covid 19 has always been to allow 1 birth partner whilst women are in labour including CS. The restrictions were on visiting and antenatal appointments and scans, which most trust now are allowing a partner to attend scans.

AnotherEmma Sun 20-Sep-20 17:02:15

"there are more important issues right now"

Ah that old chestnut. Covid trumps everything. Especially women, children and mental health.

angry

longcoffee Sun 20-Sep-20 17:04:32

I don't know what the situation was previously with regards to giving birth to a baby who has passed, however I can confidently say that partners are allowed with you now.

I am having a termination at 22 weeks tomorrow, due to my baby girl having severe heart issues that mean she is 'incompatible with life'.

My husband will be with me for the process tomorrow, and, when I'm admitted back to hospital on Wednesday to be induced, we will both be in a suite together, and he'll be with me when I'm moved to delivery too.

I was able to deliver in London, Kent or Sussex. Of the four NHS hospitals I was offered, all have the same provision with regards to partners.

I am hugely grateful that he can be by my side and have a chance to meet our daughter.

I'm petrified, but knowing he'll be there helps a bit. I had to hear the initial news on my own at a scan in our Kent hospital, but he has been there for the subsequent diagnosis and tests, all carried out in London. Throughout this process, we have been assured by various midwives and consultants that the situation is changing, and every fight is being fought to allow partners to be present at every stage

MillyMollyFarmer Sun 20-Sep-20 17:06:42

bythehairsonmychinichinchin you’re right, which is why this MP is so cross about it!

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Bufferingkisses Sun 20-Sep-20 17:07:37

MillyMollyFarmer

*DH had to go and face his cancer diagnosis, then being told he faced an operation that carried "significant risk of death" alone. Is it so different?*

It’s different to actually giving birth or going through a procedure to end a pregnancy alone, yes. But would you mind if we kept the focus to women? Instead of popping in to compare it to a man been given terrible news alone. Thanks.

What a spectacularly rude response! In this case it was a man but plenty of women will have had the same experience. "Thanks angry"

As for giving birth alone, the vast majority of cases partners are allowed in for endvstage labour and birth. Some people have laboured early stages alone. It's not ideal but none of this is. All the bloody frothing needs to stop.

ivfbeenbusy Sun 20-Sep-20 17:07:44

I think the title is misleading. The majority of women ARENT giving birth alone - partners are allowed in the delivery suites or when c sections are happening and in recovery after. They just aren't allowed on the wards/visiting hours. Most women even having had a c section are being discharged 24 hours later though

This issue relates more to baby loss - having lost 6 pregnancies myself the majority I found the news out myself as I went in for routine scans whilst DH was at work but I can understand why people want their partner their for that but to be fair to the hospitals they don't know if a scan is going to have a positive outcome or not? With distancing in the waiting rooms there simply isn't the space for everyone to bring someone at the moment?
Obviously labouring a still birth is completely different and a partner should absolutely be allowed in for that

MillyMollyFarmer Sun 20-Sep-20 17:08:51

longcoffee I am so very sorry flowers although that doesn’t feel enough I wish you the very best and hope you’re ok. I have been through something similar.

Sadly not all trusts are allowing what yours is, this is the point of this MPs campaign.

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MillyMollyFarmer Sun 20-Sep-20 17:10:55

What a spectacularly rude response!

No. It’s spectacularly rude to raise other sad issues on a post about women and childbirth. I was polite. You are not. Describing women upset at their care during labour as ‘frothing’ isn’t exactly compassionate.

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