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Surrogacy Contracts - YouTube video - US

(5 Posts)
OhHolyJesus Tue 04-Aug-20 12:26:37

I realise that this is likely to be a US story where effectively it's the Wild West and women no longer have power over their own bodies when they enter into these agreements but there are some interesting points in the video and the update text (sorry I can't c&p).

https://youtu.be/6tly4nZvhHw

She had twins for a Chinese couple who paid extra for her celibacy and paid her 'handsomely' for the surrogacy inc breast milk, and more for when she followed their nutritional plan.

Her sis and BIL aren't paying her above expenses but they have a 120 page contract. It sounds very much coerced as she didn't want to have another pregnancy but because they spent thousands on infertility treatment and she had already been a surrogate mother she was probably persuaded, it doesn't sound voluntary to me.

The BIL thinks no man (her boyfriend) will be able to control himself and not have sex with her during the pregnancy despite the contract which says no sex allowed. He doesn't trust her to keep her word but also thinks men can't manage without sex.

For anyone who thinks altruistic surrogacy through family relationships is better or more acceptable than commercial surrogacy I think this would be recommended viewing.

It was posted two weeks ago.

OP’s posts: |
Wolfgirrl Tue 04-Aug-20 16:56:20

The BIL thinks no man (her boyfriend) will be able to control himself and not have sex with her during the pregnancy despite the contract which says no sex allowed. He doesn't trust her to keep her word but also thinks men can't manage without sex.

This is all too intrusive and creepy for words. I don't even know where to begin.

As I said on another thread there is no 'good' type of surrogacy as all are open to different types of abuse.

To expect somebody to go through this for you is such an unreasonable ask, even if they offer you shouldn't accept.

OhHolyJesus Tue 04-Aug-20 17:11:32

I agree Wolf and in this case they asked, in fact pressured her I think, to do it as she did it for money once before and they need her help blah blah. How could she refuse.

I think it's really dangerous to consider altruistic surrogacy as the 'good' type of surrogacy and actually, in many ways, the transactional kind has all the same risks but far less emotions and long term likely issues.

Like one of the comments on the video, as the aunt (and mother) of the child I imagine the mother being very distant and it really damaging their relationship as sisters.

OP’s posts: |
Delphinium20 Tue 04-Aug-20 18:25:27

Wow. This was painful to watch. I have said in the past I would be a surrogate for a sister or daughter (too late for all of that now), but i really didn't think through the whole BIL thing...that it's not always just a gift from the surrogate to her loving and trustworthy female relative - it almost always involves other parities who think they have a right to a woman's body.

FannyCann Tue 04-Aug-20 18:26:36

Wow. Do a mahoosive favour for your sister and BiL but they want a 120 page contract???
What's the penalty if she has sex or eats the wrong food?
And has her boyfriend signed the No Sex agreement.
And if he can't control himself....is the boyfriend a rapist?

Thanks @OhHolyJesus Looking forward today settling down with wine which by the sound of it I will need, to watch later.

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