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Feminism: Sex & gender discussions

Canadian self ID changing rooms

36 replies

TheTamingOfTheresa · 09/07/2020 11:58

Can anyone help me find an article outlining a story about a young girl’s mother unsuccessfully asking staff to challenge a naked man self- identifying as a woman from a changing room ? My friend insists this scenario could never have happened but I know I read it somewhere

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DuDuDuLangaLangaBingBong · 09/07/2020 12:06

How about an entire girls waterpolo team seeing a penis in the women’s shower?

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.desertsun.com/amp/2670287002

California, not Canada though!

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Aesopfable · 09/07/2020 12:07

Why does your friend think this could never happen? What does she think self ID is? Or does she think no legislator would be so foolish as to allow people to self ID? If the latter just point to the legislation that is already being put in place.

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EdgeOfACoin · 09/07/2020 12:09

I know a lifeguard posted something like that on Reddit once. A mother asked him to remove a bearded bloke from a swimming pool female changing room but as the bloke identified as female, the lifeguard couldn't take any action.

May not be the same one as you're thinking of, though. The lifeguard said he felt bad about it. (For some reason I seem to recall that the lifeguard was male.)

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DeRigueurMortis · 09/07/2020 12:11

fairplayforwomen.com/examples/

You can find examples here including one from Canada.

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SarahTancredi · 09/07/2020 12:18

I love how the article says about how they are now putting up curtains and increasing supervision.

Why is that...


Same with the school loos really, every one whos for them says about how much supervision and checks are done yet fail to acknowledge why....

Where were these staff before...if there was as much bullying and need fir supervision where was it all then?

Almost as if they are allowed to hint at the obvious but we can't say

www.google.co.uk/search?source=hp&ei=yvwGX9-VNqCo1fAP_8uCsAI&q=jessica+yaniv+bathrooms&oq=jessica+yaniv+bat&gs_lcp=ChFtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1ocBABGAAyAggAMgUIIRCgATIFCCEQoAEyBQghEKABOggIKRCxAxCDAToFCCkQgwE6AggpOggIKRAWEB0QHjoFCCkQiwM6BAgpEEc6BQgAELEDOggILhCxAxCDAToCCC46CAgAELEDEIMBOgsILhCxAxCDARCTAjoFCC4QsQM6CAguELEDEJMCOgcILhAKEJMCOgQIABAKOgYIABAWEB5Q8ApYzy9g3TdoAXAAeACAAWWIAYELkgEEMTYuMpgBAKABAbABDw&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-hp#imgrc=f3gVKmFP91L9TM

Here you go op something that never happened

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TheTamingOfTheresa · 09/07/2020 12:51

Huge gratitude to everyone. I have felt less alone since I found you all ; it’s hugely helpful for me in this climate of insanity x

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SarahTancredi · 09/07/2020 12:59

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7811843/amp/Transgender-AFL-player-vents-fury-kicked-Australias-womens-handball-team.html

Not Canada. But demonstrating a certain attitude we come to expect from a certain class 50 percent of the population who react a certain way when told no.

Unable to shower with female team mates they quit the team...Hmm

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FantaOra · 09/07/2020 13:00
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SarahTancredi · 09/07/2020 13:12

www.womenarehuman.com/male-transgender-boasts-of-harassing-women-in-crisis-shelter/

Not changing rooms but another supposedly safe space.

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CatandtheFiddle · 09/07/2020 13:24

Can I piggy back on this thread to ask what people feel about being called "prudish" or "over-modest" or "uptight" about mixed sex changing rooms?

Setting aside the voyeur/sexual harasser/sexual assault aspects, have people come up against the:

"What-are-you-so-worried-about-bodies-are-natural-girls-should-not freak-out-at-seeing-penises"
argument.
What do you say (seeking handy hints & tips for the next time I'm accused of prudishness.

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breadfan1 · 09/07/2020 13:43

‘So is masturbation but I don’t want to see someone doing it on a bus/in street/at the pool’

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SarahTancredi · 09/07/2020 13:44

I would probably just ask, why is it on us to be OK with penises , as opposed to men to be OK with not exposing themselves to unconcenting women and girls, and why do they see boundaries and consent and safeguarding as problematic .

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Thelnebriati · 09/07/2020 13:57

CatandtheFiddle
Its not ok to expose girls to an increased risk, and expect them to make a complaint after the fact. That enables abuse. Predators look for weak safeguarding.

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DuDuDuLangaLangaBingBong · 09/07/2020 13:59

@CatandtheFiddle

Can I piggy back on this thread to ask what people feel about being called "prudish" or "over-modest" or "uptight" about mixed sex changing rooms?

Setting aside the voyeur/sexual harasser/sexual assault aspects, have people come up against the:

"What-are-you-so-worried-about-bodies-are-natural-girls-should-not freak-out-at-seeing-penises"
argument.
What do you say (seeking handy hints & tips for the next time I'm accused of prudishness.

The first and only time I used a mixed sex changing village a man stuck his head under the side of my cubicle. This was more than 20 years ago and I have deliberately avoided them ever since,

I was actually working in a hostess/table dancing club at the time, so even someone whose idea of consent is so scrambled they will drink champagne in their underwear with (fully clothed) bankers knows that being creeped on by voyeurs at the swimming baths is wrong.

It’s got nothing to do with prudishness and everything to do with privacy and safety.

You may quote me!
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Mumsnut · 09/07/2020 14:45

Cat and the Fiddle: There was an article somewhere by a female prisoner who had been forced to share showers with a transwoman inmate, and was told that their erection was a physiological
response the transwoman had no control over , so no harm no foul according to the prison authorities. Even if our daughters are supposed to
Overlook the penises, would the people challenging your think the erections are ok to view?

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SarahTancredi · 09/07/2020 14:49
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Mumsnut · 09/07/2020 14:51

Very probably

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curleyismyname · 09/07/2020 19:56

I would say that girls should only see a penis when they are ready to see a penis.And with their explicit consent

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Lamahaha · 09/07/2020 21:13

Can I piggy back on this thread to ask what people feel about being called "prudish" or "over-modest" or "uptight" about mixed sex changing rooms?

I don't care about any of these so-called slurs. I particularly embrace the term "prudish". My naked body is private; only those I permit to do so are allowed to see it, and I don't like it being seen by strangers. This was the case even when I was young and many times more physically appealing. I never liked men ogling me, I did not like to be called sexy (because I wasn't) and I was not interested in men who thought they had a right to my body. And I am heterosexual.
To me, the greatest freedom is freedom from sexual needs. Which by modern standards is certainly prudish or uptight, but I just don't care.

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wellbehavedwomen · 09/07/2020 21:22

@CatandtheFiddle

Can I piggy back on this thread to ask what people feel about being called "prudish" or "over-modest" or "uptight" about mixed sex changing rooms?

Setting aside the voyeur/sexual harasser/sexual assault aspects, have people come up against the:

"What-are-you-so-worried-about-bodies-are-natural-girls-should-not freak-out-at-seeing-penises"
argument.
What do you say (seeking handy hints & tips for the next time I'm accused of prudishness.

I'd point out that 90% of sexual assaults happen in 30% of changing rooms, because the latter are unisex. Other people can be as cool, inclusive and welcoming of an increased risk of sexual assault as they like. I have sufficient self-esteem to know what my boundaries are, and that I have a right to assert them.
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wellbehavedwomen · 09/07/2020 21:24

That's also a form of grooming when applied to kids, btw. Personal modesty is an important developmental stage, and it happens naturally.

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SittingAround1 · 09/07/2020 22:03

CatandtheFiddle
Throw the argument back at them and ask why do they think you don't have the right to be prudish. Because you do (I'm not saying you are, but you can be if you want to be).

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Lamahaha · 10/07/2020 06:20

In my case it's not even about fear of being attacked. I always hated the idea that men might be imagining me naked, having sex with me. Even that makes me shudder. Why make it even easier for them?
I don't want to be seen naked by men. Now, as a widow not interested in remarriage, not by ANY man.
I'm fine in communal showers with women.

My advice, if accused of being prudish, is to just say so what, and shrug it off. Embrace the term. Too often I see here people defending their opinion by the disclaimer, I'm not prudish, but.... Drop the disclaimer. Know that it's OK to have tighter personal boundaries. Don't be impressed when someone says, oh I'm so free, I don't care.
I'm free too, but in a different way.

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