Northern Ireland, grammar school, rugby and toxic masculinity

[UppaMonaghBypass]

A few years ago, when the absolute farce that was the Ulster Rugby rape trial was ongoing, there was a very good thread on FWR about it, with lots of discussion around the sense of entitlement and misogyny that seems to go hand in hand with the sport, and how this doesn't seem to be challenged in NI.

Apologies if you've already seen this, but in recent months there has been more cases of ex grammar school rugby playing boys committing some extremely serious crimes against women.

This journalist went to school with some of them, and has written two articles, which popped up on my Facebook today.

I went to a grammar myself, and I've actually found myself quite reluctant to discuss this with any old school friends. I agree with her, but strangely my instinct is to say nothing in "public" as it'll get "known". This is a really small place at times

Not sure how to make clicky... If you scroll down the two articles are linked on her "Writing" page

gemmamcsherry.com/work

[AnonymousIsAWoman]

I know so many women, myself included, who’ve had ‘incidents’ with players. Both at school and on nights out in certain places in Belfast (we all know which places). The trial brought up a lot of stuff for me that I’m still working through now.

Rugby is like a religion in certain families - my nephew started playing at three. I just hope growing up in a family of strong women will be enough to counteract that feeling of being owed something they all seem to have.

[AnonymousIsAWoman]

Forgot to say, thank you for the link Uppa. The whole thing is just terrifyingly familiar.

[UppaMonaghBypass]

Yes, and the feeling of entitlement that goes hand in hand - and with justification, in most instances, these young men are never stuck for employment, once they leave their rugby days behind, there's always a job waiting for them in someone's business.

Of one group of friends I had at school, I would say that by today's standards, we were all sexually assaulted and/or in abusive relationships in our teens and early twenties. Although this wasn't all due to rugby boys, they popped up with alarming frequency, and when I look at the men/situations, that untouchable pack mentality is definitely a recurring theme