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Things that only happen to women - a Twitter thread

(22 Posts)
HoneysuckIejasmine Tue 07-Jul-20 18:34:24

Have any of you seen his marvellous thread?

mobile.twitter.com/ariana_erbon/status/1212427311083130880

Well, marvellous only in the ability to collate information, otherwise it's absolutely heartbreaking.

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boatyardblues Tue 07-Jul-20 20:41:46

I feel like “You have major abdominal surgery and are expected to be up and about doing chores for other people in <12 hours and given only paracetamol for pain relief” should feature on that list. I still can’t get my head around postnatal care for women who have a C section.

gardenbird48 Tue 07-Jul-20 20:53:35

its bonkers isn't it - postnatal care in general can be iffy - I went into shock after a 90 minute labour and didn't even get a blanket to shake under - I can't begin to imagine how horrendous it is being expected to get up and about after having a c section - women I saw had to go and get their own food pretty early on.

HoneysuckIejasmine Tue 07-Jul-20 21:18:20

Post natal wards in general are awful. I wasn't told anything at all. It's wasn't until the middle of the night (12 hours post birth) when I'd officially had enough of the other people on the ward that I asked the midwife why I was even there as no-one had spoken to me at all. Apparently I was on hourly obs ... hmm I had bad antenatal mental health and just burst in to tears at the pointlessness of my experience - I could have just gone home if they weren't doing anything. I was discharged sharpish in the morning.

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SunsetBeetch Wed 08-Jul-20 06:13:01

Oh yes that's a fabulous thread.

Gncq Wed 08-Jul-20 06:29:07

Have you noticed Twitter are removing likes and retweets on this thread?

Ifonlyus Wed 08-Jul-20 07:39:28

What a sad and eye opening Twitter thread. One to keep to roll out to those who think gender identity trumps sex.

I still have such vivid memories of how I was treated by different clinicians throughout young adulthood and the childbirth years. There so many fabulous, compassionate women who treated me well but far too many who revelled in treating me with disdain that it points to a systemic problem - and that's in a western country, and towards someone who has a university education. It still appals me and I'm shocked I was so meek and complacent at times I was treated so badly it risked my life.

Cloud1921 Wed 08-Jul-20 12:44:59

Great thread thanks for the link

HandsOffMyRights Wed 08-Jul-20 12:54:21

It's a great thread. Depressing, though. And despite all that - a thread about women - TRAs have still managed to muscle in and make it about them.

I had a difficult recovery from a twin C section yet was indeed expected to be up and about, scolded for asking for pain medication, and back home serving two newborns.

In contrast, my father had a hernia op and was treated 'like a king' in hospital and waited on hand and foot.

boatyardblues Wed 08-Jul-20 13:03:04

In contrast, my father had a hernia op and was treated 'like a king' in hospital and waited on hand and foot.

Yep, I had the same experience although my Dad had keyhole surgery on his abdomen. Visiting him in hospital several days post-op and hearing about his wonderful nursing care and fantastic pain relief made me really, really angry about what post-natal women have to put up with. DS2 was about 18 months at the time.

Michelleoftheresistance Wed 08-Jul-20 13:25:08

Brilliant thread.

And yes, beyond depressing that female people talking about the experience and the unique and many issues of being biologically female and the needs of female people in the world is somehow naughty and Twitter wants to cover it up.

Willow4987 Wed 08-Jul-20 13:43:14

Has anyone got to the tweet about reddit???

Something weird is happening with that thread. I saw a response about reddit shutting down women specific groups like pregnancy and PCOS (sorry I don’t know the correct terms for reddit) and there was a link to another twitter thread on it. But I’ve gone back to find it to link it here and it’s all gone...

TreestumpsAndTrampolines Wed 08-Jul-20 13:51:57

My eldest had been in the same hospital I subsequently gave birth in a few months earlier - they were fantastic on the children's ward . Made sure the carer had had food, if the child wasn't eating, had a chat to see what they could do about finding something they would, kept us informed, had roll-out beds for the parent staying overnight, and the kids beds were electric beds, there were large washing facilities we could use to freshen up, and a little kitchen if we brought food and were just lovely and efficient. I thought my childbirth experience was going to be fine.

After my EMCS, I was put in a bed that I later saw on call the midwife. The showers were 80cm showers, with narrow doors slid across half-way, so 40cm opening), up a step that was a good 8-10 inches - imagine trying to get into that (forget hot, couldn't reach to turn it on until I was in there, so it was shiver until it warmed up), with a fresh c-section wound and catheter (I was covered in blood). No-one told me anything, not even where I could get a glass of water, let alone offered to get it for me.

No pain relief, as mentioned until I picked up my baby with DP and MIL and just said I was leaving. It's not like anyone was checking we were OK, or helping me anyhow.

It was ridiculous.

MondayYogurt Wed 08-Jul-20 14:43:39

Willow4987

Has anyone got to the tweet about reddit???

Something weird is happening with that thread. I saw a response about reddit shutting down women specific groups like pregnancy and PCOS (sorry I don’t know the correct terms for reddit) and there was a link to another twitter thread on it. But I’ve gone back to find it to link it here and it’s all gone...


This?

https://twitter.com/kcarverxx/status/1280184132153126912?s=21

Ifonlyus Wed 08-Jul-20 15:01:45

You've just reminded me of a trip to A&E with DH when he'd cut his finger badly during cooking one weekend afternoon. Two older female HCA fussing over him. After being stitched up, with plenty of local anaesthetic and nitrous oxide (neither of which I was given to be stitched up after my second baby) they wanted us to hang around and were offering him tea and sandwiches! We live right by the hospital and hadnt even had a wait in A & E. It was bizarre. They displayed this strong instinct to look after this 'poor man'.

Willow4987 Wed 08-Jul-20 15:07:28

@MondayYogurt yes that’s the one!!!

Clymene Wed 08-Jul-20 15:15:41

When I was having a suspected miscarriage, they initially told me to sit in a chair in the waiting area. I was in total shock, 16 weeks pregnant and bleeding, my skirt was covered in blood. They didn't even give me a pad.

Redcrayons Wed 08-Jul-20 15:19:09

I had to ask for pain relief the day after the surgery, as ‘most people manage without.
They also insisted I leave the curtains open all the time, even whilst trying to tandem feed twins, because ‘nobody is looking’.

And to be honest I consider my overall experience quite a good one. Shows how much we’re conditioned to not make a fuss.

Redcrayons Wed 08-Jul-20 15:28:08

Oh and I’ve just remembered students being there at my CS despite me saying no in the birth plan.
They asked my exH and he said it was ok (found this out later).

Pasghetti Wed 08-Jul-20 15:48:14

Excellent thread.

Dontforgetyourbrolly Wed 08-Jul-20 15:53:04

I have endometriosis, and I've often wondered that if a man had crippling abdominal pain regularly every single month , would that be dealt with/ investigated, you bet it would .
A couple of years ago I was in A & E with what turned out to be a burst ovarian cyst , morphine only took the edge off , I was treated appallingly to the point of being in tears and I'm convinced it's because it was seen as " women's problems ".

HoneysuckIejasmine Wed 08-Jul-20 16:01:25

I have endo and suspected adenomyosis too. And loads of uterine adhesions. Started my periods in Year 7/8 (I forget which) and finally got referred to a gynaecologist when I was 23. Because periods hurt, so what was the fuss about?

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