Will it ever get better?

(60 Posts)
IAmFleshIAmBone Mon 29-Jun-20 21:18:40

I really despair of this world. I feel like as women we are being manipulated and gaslighted constantly. We have to comply with everything the trans lobby demands of us or we are called TERFs, threatened, our careers are put at risk and for what? A men's rights movement essentially. I'm starting to feel like we can't win. Anyone can claim to be a woman and get access to our safe spaces. I'm terrified for the future.

I'm so sorry, I had to get this out. If anyone has any words of encouragement I'd appreciate them as I am feeling pretty lost and hopeless, and I can't talk to anyone about this in real life.

OP’s posts: |
risefromyourgrave Mon 29-Jun-20 21:22:02

I am having a bad day today as well. Reddit just tipped me over the edge this evening after Stephen King and Keir Starmer this morning.
Sorry, no encouragement, but I know exactly how you feel. flowers

midgebabe Mon 29-Jun-20 21:26:13

It takes generations to make changes

Each step forward always gets a push back, especially in times of uncertainty and instability and fear

In my lifetime, we can now get a mortgage, rape in marriage is recognised , I occasionally get sex related pay rebalancing , men no longer wander the building just to stare at women in technical roles

littlbrowndog Mon 29-Jun-20 21:27:46

Yeah it will. Nobody I know in real life believes this shite. Not one person

Bring it up in your real life.

I am confident this shite will pass

We never had the vote. We have the vote. We never had the right to not be raped by our husbands we have that right

Keep going keep going keep,going. It’s a fight. We will win cos we are women.

AnotherLass Mon 29-Jun-20 21:34:10

I'm feeling very shit today too. I don't know how to be encouraging - just in the last week, we've had Glinner banned from Twitter, Allison's fundraiser frozen, and the gender critical subreddit shut down. We jump for joy about a tiny handful of minor celebs who are prepared to come out and say that maybe JK Rowling have the right to say that biological sex exists without drowning in rape and death threats, maybe. But lets face it, nearly everyone is silent. Or they actively support the lynch mob.

I suppose that every person and movement has bad weeks.

rabbitwoman Mon 29-Jun-20 21:34:14

It will all come out, it will all come tumbling down, I am sure of it. The tide will change - I just hope we can stop it before any more damage is done to kids, vulnerable women and the genuine trans community - my biggest fear is that it is only when it is too late, the law has been changed and we do actually start to see the consequences will we then see that realisation and change....

In my crystal ball I see a very sudden shift happening with more detransitioners coming forward. I actually think that the hateful crowd are just people who like to be violent, unpleasant and abusive who have happened to find the outlet that let's them be as horrible as they like. All of a sudden they realise that they can 'detransition' and turn all that hatred on the people that supported them as well as the establishment 'abusers' - that's what we will see, another demographic of vulnerable and fragile people being exploited and appropriated.

Then it will all be over, leaving so much damage in its wake that the LGBTQ+ community will be set back even further.


Am I the only one with a crystal ball?

Broomfondle Mon 29-Jun-20 21:35:46

I read this today and found it heartening.
Heartening to see how far we'd come and that that in itself is why we're fighting this particular battle now - because we have something men actually want.
It's all kinds of shit that we aren't even allowed small concessions that protect women without men thinking it's unfair, I agree, but we no one gave us what we have, we made it happen and we can defend them and carry on pushing for a fairer world for women.
We did it once, it sucks that we have to do it again, but we can do it again.



Imnobody4 Mon 29-Jun-20 21:36:41

That's what they want us to believe- resistance is futile. I take great comfort from mumsnet, I'm also alone. If we hold together we can turn this around and then focus on the next battles. The one thing I've learned is the importance of constant vigilance and solidarity.

FloralBunting Mon 29-Jun-20 21:47:52

Ok, take heart. A couple of years ago, we really shouting into the void. The GRA consultation was going to be quietly shuffled through, and women were being punched down, sometimes literally, everywhere from the Girl Guides to Twitter. Women were doxxed, threatened and the only place we could discuss it openly was here.

That's not the case today. It's a big talking point everywhere, on the front pages, in the news bulletins, on Newsnight, and not all fawning, toe the line testimonials, proper critical journalism. There are grassroots crowdfunders for every discriminatory issue regarding women and girls that we've been discussing for years.

Feminism itself is having a renaissance and shaking off the befuddlement of PopFem counterfeits, women are gathering in groups large and small and learning that their voices and experiences matter and can be used effectively to make life better for women everywhere.

Don't be downcast because the Big Beast of Misogyny is lashing out at us - he's only doing it because we've been successfully whacking off the chains he's been holding us down with and he thinks he can frighten us into submission.

He can't. We're strong, we're right, we matter, and we're not giving up.

nauticant Mon 29-Jun-20 21:48:09

Your comment tells me this Imnobody4. Expect them to come after MN much much harder than we've seen before.

Iamhangingin Mon 29-Jun-20 22:13:46

I feel the same, pretty overwhelmed by the enormity of it all. But I do think in this crazy covid world at lot of us are re-evaluating our beliefs and values. It took me a long time to understand the impact of the trans movement, and to change my thinking. I have always been a very liberal feminist. I didn't ask for much and I was very nice and polite. Didn't want to offend or upset. Now I feel a lot more angry and am realising I don't need to be nice, just fair and honest. And I honestly feel like my expectations were too low and for women to be truly equal in society we need a hell of a lot more to change. I don't think I'm the only one and that slowly the tide is changing. Sometimes things need to reach a real low for change to happen. We don't fight when things a not great, but bearable. But the situation is serious now so more and more of us are waking up, getting angry and we will be demanding change. We are 50% of the population. We should have the same respect, opportunities to live full lives and to do so safely. I want my daughter to grow up in a world the encourages her to live hee life as fully and freely as she can so I will continue to fight for women's rights whatever it takes. But yep - it's been a horrible few weeks?

Whatsnewpussyhat Mon 29-Jun-20 22:18:32

The press coverage of HC views compared to a year ago is huge. Comments allowed on articles, not closed or heavily moderated. More people are waking up daily.
Councils across the UK removing the trans tool kits that misrepresented the law.

NHS changed the wording on trans procedures.

People becoming aware of Stonewall's manipulation and under handedness.

JK Rowling is with us!

We just need to keep fighting.

LouHotel Mon 29-Jun-20 22:27:20

I’m watching AthleteA on Netflix which is basically about how USA Gymnastics was state sponsored systemic child exploitation and abuse.

This will always exists, it will be shut down somewhere and start elsewhere, the fight for children and women will never end because that is what a patriarchal society is. But I truly believe it feels so awful now because women are taking control of the narrative and this is the shut down stage.

In the suffrage movement I would suggest this is akin to the force fed in prison era except instead of a tube it’s disinformation.

ScrimpshawTheSecond Mon 29-Jun-20 22:29:22

In reference to the current efforts to erase the word & concept of 'woman' - it's changing. I've only been aware of this issue for the past - er, I dunno, two years? But I can see big change. People are waking up and discussing it, asking questions. 'No debate' is over.

Maybe an overview will help.


I'm afraid humans will always be humans - we live in an imperfectible universe and I doubt we'll ever get to a place where we can rest up and say the job is done. But bit by bit, we are making headway on many fronts.

Women worldwide are discovering each other, making networks, challenging rape culture, forced marriage, domestic violence, infanticide, FGM, etc etc etc. It's always going to be hard because for the most part, women are bloody busy and often making connections is hard to maintain.

The internet has both facilitated women's organising and facilitated misogyny. We shall see how it continues to unfold.

FloralBunting Mon 29-Jun-20 22:48:51

Well, ask yourself what you would really prefer - the seething mass of woman-hatred bubbling just under the surface, working quietly to undermine your rights until one day you wake up and you're Offred, or have a really unpleasant time as all the poison gets exposed to the sunlight so everyone can witness the putrification and we actually knock a few heads off the hydra as a result?

I know it's wearing. God help me, so I do. I'm mixing my metaphors like nobodies business. But we have come so far. We really have.

NotDonna Mon 29-Jun-20 23:03:18

Do any of you have teen DDs? They really don’t see the harm. Such a desire to be kind. All my friends in RL see what’s happening. Know the frailty of women’s rights. But our teen daughters? Not to be persuaded. That’s worrying!!

Goosefoot Mon 29-Jun-20 23:06:09

I've seen a huge change over the past year, in what's going on in the UK. I suspect a lot of what is going on this week is a sort of backlash to some of the most recent gains. First they have been trying very hard to latch themselves on to BLM and to all the corporate sponsorships they can, and really leverage whatever influence they have. Because they see they are losing ground. They're throwing their reserve forces into the fray, and that feels like a whole new onslaught but it means they are in trouble.

I am starting to see some glimmerings here in Canada, too, women organising themselves, which is the start.

risefromyourgrave Mon 29-Jun-20 23:07:30

Yes. I have a DD13 and I asked her her opinion on trans women. She said that she thinks the ‘nice ones’ should be allowed to crack on, but the ones who say ‘suck my lady sick’ shouldn’t. I haven’t got the heart to tell her that we can’t always tell who the ‘nice ones’ are.

risefromyourgrave Mon 29-Jun-20 23:07:56

dick not sick!

ScrimpshawTheSecond Mon 29-Jun-20 23:14:06

Yes. The backlash and the narc rage is frightening.

I am starting to see some glimmerings here in Canada, too, women organising themselves, which is the start.

Bon courage!

TeaAndStrumpets Mon 29-Jun-20 23:15:04

Daughter aged 36, thinks I'm a bigot. It breaks my heart. She is an academic and as far as I can see many of her contemporaries are very TWAW. Also very strong Labour.

I was so tempted to forward that fab link from Broom...But I just daren't! I think the worst thing for me is constantly guarding my tongue.

One day I'm going to snap.

JKRismyhero Mon 29-Jun-20 23:18:33


Daughter aged 36, thinks I'm a bigot. It breaks my heart. She is an academic and as far as I can see many of her contemporaries are very TWAW. Also very strong Labour.

I was so tempted to forward that fab link from Broom...But I just daren't! I think the worst thing for me is constantly guarding my tongue.

One day I'm going to snap.

I'm sorry to hear that sad

I hope she peaks at some point soon.

I peaked when I had my daughter and I thought what the fuck ?!

Toseland Mon 29-Jun-20 23:26:21

Imagine we are all a flock of birds, flying in a V, it’s fine to fall back for a rest.
One thing that always encourages me is that if I speak to people in real life they all think it’s nonsense.

FloralBunting Mon 29-Jun-20 23:33:31

Four teenagers here. Not a wokester among them. Son says "My gender is yes" whenever he's asked his pronouns because he thinks it's such ridiculous bullshit. (He has long hair and wears clothing from mens and womens departments and is exceedingly pissed off with the idea that this would mean he wasn't a man.)

And previously trans identifying daughter had an epiphany about how much the trans/NB members of the group she was part of are just celebrities and no different to the group of kids who are popular because their parents are rich, and in both cases the popularity was superficial shite.

My kids are fucking fabulous.

TeaAndStrumpets Mon 29-Jun-20 23:35:43

Thanks JKRismyhero I think if she (ever) has children she will see it. Other daughter is a mum so she totally does! I'm sure it does divide a lot of families.

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