Abiu/ re feminism

(101 Posts)
Annoyedatyourbs Mon 29-Jun-20 18:41:22

that its quite difficult to have healthy debate about the groups of feminism in this specific forum.

It appears a lot of people are quite aggressive in their views within their specific type of feminism and it really closes down any attempt at debate or opportunities to learn.

I'm young and inexperienced and I genuinely want to learn about other perspectives from REAL women but its increasingly difficult here and on twitter.

Would there be any resources / alternatives forums that you all suggest that are varied in their type of feminism but not aggressive in their views / cult like ?

(I love passion and I'm ready for passionate people but I'm specifically talking about people who try and push their pov through demeaning comments and making fun of the other person to attempt to get an upper hand without putting any evidence , thoughtful contribution)

Thank you

OP’s posts: |
ForeverInSunshine Mon 29-Jun-20 18:44:22

I'm going to reply even thought I don't think your post is in good faith. Honestly the best way to learn is to read, so read all the threads, even those with points of view you disagree with. Usually books and article names are shared etc. So spend a weekend and read all the threads you can handle, do that for a few weekends and I'm sure you'll have plenty of other resources to follow up on.

Annoyedatyourbs Mon 29-Jun-20 18:58:23


In what way do you think its in bad faith?

I've spoke about my vulnerability within the subject but have also shared my direct experience.

OP’s posts: |
midgebabe Mon 29-Jun-20 19:07:30

If you view this board more as AIBU than chat it would help

Ignore the posters who are rude, report those that are hateful, and be prepared to think about what in your posts might be triggering such responses

I do sometimes wonder if a 1 on 1 approach might help some discussions, as sometimes you get a lot of women with similar viewpoints all landing at the same time, which could be intimidating, but I guess that might just indicate that you have said something offensive

Remember women have feelings

And I don't think many women here fit with gender norms, many new people here actually have strongly gender biases without recognsi8ng them as such, it may also help if you think of yourself as talking to men and see if that changes how you feel about a response

midgebabe Mon 29-Jun-20 19:08:16

And obs choose a better username ! One might almost think you thought this board bullshit !

BadgertheBodger Mon 29-Jun-20 19:13:07

This board is not and never has been any kind of “safe space”. It’s not aggressive to disagree and to be honest it’s helped me enormously to have my arse handed to me on several occasions where I felt the need to spaff out ill-thought-through ideas without reading and listening and learning. There is so much information here from so many incredibly knowledgable women. What you won’t find is many who are willing to spoon feed you. I very rarely (if ever) see anyone on here demeaning or making fun of others.

wrongsideofhistorymyarse Mon 29-Jun-20 19:16:29

Your username is unhelpful.


Nellydean21 Mon 29-Jun-20 19:18:41

Accusations of aggressiveness is a common insult used to silence feminists. There's plenty to read from previous threads if you want to inform yourself more.

FloralBunting Mon 29-Jun-20 19:20:03

Strap in and read, read, read. Prepare to be challenged on what you think you know. My world was tilted 180° when I started talking to feminists - lots of different flavours of feminist - and I discovered lots of what I thought I knew was dead wrong. Find a good balance between that kind of humility, the courage to be wrong and change your mind, and the confidence to back up your beliefs with evidence and confidence. This board can be intimidating, but if you get stuck in, you will definitely learn lots.

FloralBunting Mon 29-Jun-20 19:21:05

I said confidence twice. That's what happens when you post while eating your tea...

midgebabe Mon 29-Jun-20 19:22:56

Anything good for tea?

FloralBunting Mon 29-Jun-20 19:24:31

Pan fried seabass, rice, quinoa and peas. It's literally the most middle class meal I've ever eaten.

Gingernaut Mon 29-Jun-20 19:25:22

OP, disingenously asking questions in an attempt to stir the pot is called JAQing off.


There are plenty of books on feminism out there.

Try reading them.

WhatAWonderfulDay Mon 29-Jun-20 19:26:51

Well, a lot of us have been where you are. I read so many threads - I find the women (and some men) here very knowledgeable and represent a vast number of point of views. There's always lively discussion and I have learnt so much from reading.

Haven't really seen much aggression either - unless you call refusing to STFU aggression.

Annoyedatyourbs Mon 29-Jun-20 19:26:55

Note taken on my username and will endeavour to change it if I can remember my bloody password !!

Are you allowed to mention threads here?

Just wondering if anyone has suggestions of good threads to read before I trowl through them all?

@Nellydean21 I have no intention of silencing anyone, its just very difficult to engage in any type of debate when said person is rude to others with no merit.

How you are actively getting your own point across by name calling and threats ?

Disagreements will happen and I'm open to other opinions but you do not need to name call, use slurs, swear to get a paint across that is not passion that is aggression.

OP’s posts: |
midgebabe Mon 29-Jun-20 19:28:24

Any specific topic you are interested in? Feminism is quite broad

Kit19 Mon 29-Jun-20 19:29:42

It seems a bit odd to start off by telling us not to do things that no one has done to you


exLtEveDallas Mon 29-Jun-20 19:32:00

Hmm. Are you new to MN or just the FWR Board. Only, if you don’t like swearing you are going to have a bit of a shock. Most of us women here seem to have the mouths of dockers 😂

midgebabe Mon 29-Jun-20 19:33:01

Feet posh floral! More bangers and beans here...but posh home cooked ones

BadgertheBodger Mon 29-Jun-20 19:33:24

“Name calling and threats”

Oh give over

FloralBunting Mon 29-Jun-20 19:33:30

Annoyed, for what it's worth, we get a lot of bad faith posters here who have no intention of decent conversation, some of whom actually wish the posters here very ill. If you get a terse or rude and suspicious response, it's worth persevering.

TheFormerPorpentinaScamander Mon 29-Jun-20 19:33:33

Well starting a thread stating TWAW and then not explaining why you believe that is hardly conducive to a debate...

Ereshkigalangcleg Mon 29-Jun-20 19:34:41

I'm specifically talking about people who try and push their pov through demeaning comments and making fun of the other person to attempt to get an upper hand without putting any evidence , thoughtful contribution)

Very few people do that here. We all have a tonne of evidence for you.

OhHolyJesus Mon 29-Jun-20 19:34:57

I quite like the swearing. I never get to swear in real life, it's quite a release to come on here and swear. You might be better off over in Netmums if you don't like the swearing but if you hang around I'd check the Break It Down a For Me thread to start with.

Just browse around and read latest threads that interest you OP. Maybe find ones with 'newbie' or something in the title, everyone has different interests so you'll just have to find your way a bit.

As for slurs do read the pinned post on the guidelines at the top of this board (you might need to log on to via a laptop as it doesn't show on the app).

FloralBunting Mon 29-Jun-20 19:35:02

midge, it sounds posh, but it was knock down cheap on the fish counter at work today...

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