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Any more new recruits?

(36 Posts)
mcduffy Thu 11-Jun-20 17:53:30

My DH was slightly startled when I burst into tears last night when I read JKR's essay whilst our DC were watching a post-dinner film. I sent him the link to it and I think I've created a (GC) monster. He's spent the last 24 hours sending it to all his friends individually and asking them for their views (including counterpoints). He's just reported back to me that the best they can come up with is sex being "assigned" at birth, gender identity being innate and "a fucking unicorn".
I hate the "DH says" posts usually but just thought I'd relay that this radicalised-by-mumsnet feminist has doubled your money grin and men in their early 30s across England are having to deal with some awkward questions from a tenacious friend!
Anyone else have any converts?

OP’s posts: |
Lordfrontpaw Thu 11-Jun-20 18:05:58

I managed when I wasn't trying to a right-on type.

His little daughter had just taken up gymnastics it that must've been with the rules changes to allow boys to change with the girls and compete against them.

He came wandering through the living room (on a visit) just as I was reading the newspaper report out the DH and he just switched. Just like that. I wasn't even trying...

talkingdeadscot Thu 11-Jun-20 18:06:56

Wish I could say the same. My lovely DH who I've been with for 10 years is a lost cause. It's been a real shock for me and shaken who I thought he was. Admittedly we're getting on a bit (me 58 him 61) but he is a raging socialist, anti racist etc and not just in his head, this is how he lives his life and also, I thought, a feminist.

According to him if a man feels as though they're a woman then they won't have been socialised the same way as a man. Therefore, they're perfectly safe to use women only spaces. Also, transmen have to use the female spaces because, you know, male violence. If we, as a society, provide a third set of facilities then we (as a society) are ghettoising trans people.

Therefore, it's perfectly reasonable for women to budge over because a)transwomen are no threat and b) transpeople shouldn't be ghettoised.

He know's my history with abuse/violence with men but nothing can persuade him that women shouldn't give up their spaces.

During this discussion he also referred to me as a cis woman!! He won't be doing that again but I think he believes that as he doesn't mind being referred to as a cis man then what's the issue.

I'm so, so disappointed. It's not my job to educate him but between him and my grown up daughter I feel like the last 50 years of my life didn't happen or means nothing.

They will never persuade me though that my sex doesn't matter and the language used to describe my experiences needs changing. Fuck em

NonnyMouse1337 Thu 11-Jun-20 18:10:33

That's sounds tough, talkingdeadscot. I'd feel quite upset too. flowers

mcduffy Thu 11-Jun-20 18:11:42

Sorry Scot that's tough.

OP’s posts: |
MujeresLibres Thu 11-Jun-20 18:27:31

@scot like this person? Unfortunately there are some bad apples within the cohort.

JKRowlingTransExplosion Thu 11-Jun-20 19:39:57

I’ve converted loads, including my (male) partner, my ex, my cousin and sundry others. I also know several GC people at my former workplace (BBC), but they naturally keep it quiet unless sure they’re in like-minded company.

BarbieandKenBruce Thu 11-Jun-20 20:05:40

Talked about it with my DH for the first time last night. Don't think I 'converted' him as he was pretty much there, just hadn't had to think about it or crystallise the arguements in his mind. He's mainly shocked at the arguement of the TRAs etc and there was lots of 'people don't really say that though do they?' 'but nobody really thinks that?' kind of things. He also thought no one would lose their job over expressing a GC belief. I still don't think it's really sunk in how insidious it's all got at one point he dismissed it as 'just some people on twitter'.
He's a psychiatrist and some of his patients have gender dysphoria so he's not unaware at all. I think he takes people as he finds them and tries to help them feel better in themeselves without politics coming into it.

AsTreesWalking Thu 11-Jun-20 20:06:55

I read my DH Daniel's little note today - his immediate response was how dare he, what a narcissist!

Collidascope Thu 11-Jun-20 20:12:06

I converted my partner a few years ago - on the same day I realised myself how sexist it all was. He has a beard too so that must be bonus points.

justanotherneighinparadise Thu 11-Jun-20 20:13:16

Scot I think I’d end up being really insolent and discussing my cunt a lot just to piss him off.

My DP Is a fabulous man. Completely understands my feelings and listens to my rants she. Something triggers me. He also rather enjoys the use of the gender neutral toilets on the third floor. No one else uses them apparently and they’re nice and fresh.

justanotherneighinparadise Thu 11-Jun-20 20:13:48

*when something

zen1 Thu 11-Jun-20 20:23:51

I’ve been ‘banging on’ about this for for some years now (largely thanks to Mumsnet and Magdalen Berns). DH has always been ‘sympathetic’ to my GC views but after reading JK’s essay, came up to me this morning and said, “You’re right.” My teenage boys take the piss out of me all the time for ranting whenever this issue comes up in the papers, but do actually agree with me. 17 year old DS says all his friends think the same, as does his girlfriend, so that is encouraging.

Caramelcamel Thu 11-Jun-20 20:28:39

I have been having conversations with people too about this whole debate and a lot of people have just been baffled by where we are with things.

Kit19 Thu 11-Jun-20 20:37:54

I don’t think I’ve converted ppl so much as woken them up. Sisters & mum didbt take much, DH was a “ph god there goes kit ranting again” until the rugby thing with the TW playing with women and “folding them like deckchairs” and the rugby referees subsequently coming out and expressing their fears for player safety

He manages umpires in hockey & when I said “so what would you advise your umpires in terms of their duty of care if a TW turns up playing in a ladies side?”
the light dawned

His national federation are publicly TWAW but I know privately the umpires are worried about their position with player safety

MrsSlocombesPussy Thu 11-Jun-20 21:11:09

I've converted my DH and my DD who is 15. She's even read Invisible Women. It's the subject of her speaking exam for English GCSE.
I am proud of her!

FloraFox Thu 11-Jun-20 22:20:02

scot you need to show your husband this study:

They looked at every single Swedish person who transitioned over a 30 year period and found that post-transition males have the same pattern of criminality as non-transitioned males.

Also, 60% of male sex transgender prisoners in UK prisons are sex offenders, that's according to Ministry of Justice figures.

Angryresister Thu 11-Jun-20 22:24:28

My brother mentioned it without my saying anything. We are finally in agreement over more or less everything after many many years. Surprising...

TerribleCustomerCervix Thu 11-Jun-20 22:27:40

DH has gone from politely indicating he thought I was slightly batshit this time last year, to agreeing completely with the GC position.

He works in the wokest of woke environments (Irish trade unionism) and has started dipping his toe into the waters at work.

MotherForkinShirtBalls Thu 11-Jun-20 22:29:04

Dh has been agnostic about it all despite my years of ranting. He told me today he gets what I've been talking about now.

Wearywithteens Thu 11-Jun-20 22:35:31

So many people I speak to passionately agree with me (why wouldn’t they?) but when I tried to raise it with my political, sweary, no holds barred book group it was radio silence. I’m hoping that was ignorance rather than wokeness but I’m not sure. One guy meekly admitted ‘he didn’t know much about it’ despite being highly politically literate. I didn’t have a go because at least he acknowledged my rage unlike the snakey silent ones...

My DH is totally on board as he’s a victim of new mixed sex toilets in a huge male dominated workplace. He’s a gentleman and gets embarrassed on behalf of women who have to use the same cubicles as ‘grunting, stinking pigs’ (his words to describe men in toilets).

Lamahaha Thu 11-Jun-20 22:57:28

Among my FB friends are a couple of GC women (not counting the many in GC groups, such as Venice Allen and Posie).

But also one woke-ish woman who has always been very pro-alphabet-salad, inclusive, sex-positive, lib-fem etc. Never actually argued pro-TRA stuff, but just by her other statements you can tell that she is "inclusive", open-minded to the point of posting extremely personal and in my eyes TMI stuff. She is very prolific on FB -- I'm not. In her 50's.

One of the GC women is brave enough to post all kinds of GC articles on her private wall. She usually gets lots of resonance, likes, hearts, approving comments, support for being brave, etc from women who obviously agree with her but never post openly themselves.

The lib-fem one never comments on the GC one, and as far as I can tell never likes her GC posts.

Today the GC one has posted Rowling's article saying it's a must-read, and has had a great response -- including the lib-fem one, who commented that it's a great article!!!! I'm dumbstruck. I cannot believe she is peaking at last!

She is extremely popular, has tons of friends, is very outspoken etc. She's a lovely person (I've met her in rl) but soooooo liberal...

I think a LOT of women are peaking. And men. Many of the supportive Times comments are by males. I am hopeful.

Lamahaha Thu 11-Jun-20 23:02:47

PS I hardly speak to anyone outside my immediate family so don't get the chance to spread the word. But my son, daughter and son-in-law are all very GC, especially the SIL who is a scientist and is always arguing with is very woke sister and I discusses a lot with friends, colleagues etc. He's not one to hold back.

He gets most of his GC info from me, so...

SawingForTeens Thu 11-Jun-20 23:08:21

I converted my friend ages ago and then she spoke to her daughter, who said "why can't you just be kind."

So she decided to be "kind" and I did not lose her friendship, but had to hide my views. That hurt. Is it a real friendship if you only stay friends by holding something in? friend is a huge HP fan who loves JKR and now I am getting cryptic texts. Perhaps a chink of light.

Lamahaha Thu 11-Jun-20 23:09:17

And on the subject of how to talk to people about it, here's a great article: How To Talk to Your Liberal Friends About JK Rowling

"Are you overjoyed by the courage that author JK Rowling has demonstrated, but sad that you don’t know how to talk about it with your liberal friends? Here is a handy, dandy guide to dealing with that difficult friend, family member, or co-worker.

It’s easy. Really! Just stick to the biggest issue that Rowling has raised: the systematic silencing of women who dare to speak about their gender heresies."

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