Why don't men fear violence like so many of us do?

Ursula2001 · 2020-05-27 03:08:14

This isn't a thread to 'educate' everybody on the revolutionary fact that men are the main victims of violence. We already know that because barely a month goes by without smug prat turning up and posting it, often accompanied by a statement like 'feminists are xyz...prove me wrong'. (For the record, I'm not really a strong feminist as I feel it's become as much an 'identity' as a set of views [many of which I likely share] but I still eyeroll a little when I see these threads come up, as I believe people are entitled to their views). However, I had a long journey today and had been browsing mumsnet before I left, and it got me thinking. Men suffer so much more violence than us, yet they still dominate society. Is it possible that the competitive, brutal interaction between young boys (physical bullying in a way that not many girls inflict, and things like giving their mates dead arms etc which would literally be assault in the adult world) actually 'prepares' males for the dog eat dog world out there? On the other hand, it may just be that men succeed ^in spite^ of it, but I (in contrast to many on here) often speculate that in many cases it's not so much that men subjugate women so much as simply outmanoeuvre/outgame them - i.e. being less agreeable and more likely to ask for promotions etc. I'm not saying that this shouldn't necessarily be challenged in the instance that it leads to widespread inequality, but I do often get the uncomfortable feeling that many people are basically saying "slow down a bit, Usain, you're leaving me behind" rather than focusing on ways to run faster. I don't expect people to agree with me as it's no doubt a divisive view, and there are of course many examples where it simply isn't the case and where discrimination is more likely the cause. But I do think there is sometimes a fine line between trying to find an approach that works for women and between effectively saying "we can't win this game, let's play another one or change the rules etc'. I've just read this back and I'm so gonna get flamed. 😂 But I don't care. I've found what works for me and ironically it was leaving the corporate sector for a very blokey environment. I never capitulate to men, but despite not really believing in the male/female brain I definitely have an approach that is more similar to that which the average man takes, whether or not it's social conditioning that has caused it in most men - I am very direct, extremely competitive when I care about something (but not just for the sake of it), and I'm not afraid to ask for promotions etc and vote with my feet if I'm not happy. I'm far from a handmaiden, but my attributes seem to have allowed me to flourish in a patriarchal world - which admittedly may mean that my approach isn't very useful to many women who are ambitious but less 'aggressive' than myself. I've gone on a bit of a tangent now, so I'll try and wrap this up with a point. One might be that I often wonder whether fear is what holds women back when compared to men. This fear of say walking alone at night despite being statistically much safer than men - which I believe to be true as being better able to defend oneself does not necessarily make one safer if it's offset by a much higher chance of actually being attacked, and a much lower chance of the individual fleeing rather than engaging in a fight (which is a choice of course, but we must arguably accept that choices are not made in a vacuum and that men's nature and hormonal makeup is much more likely to induce fight rather than flight as compared to a female).

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We've deleted this thread as it looked like the OP was trolling.