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wetting yourself - a feminist issue?

(36 Posts)
vivariumvivariumsvivaria Thu 20-Feb-20 14:33:15

If men became incontinent because of parenthood - we'd have clinics to help for them, right? On every street corner? []

OP’s posts: |
vivariumvivariumsvivaria Thu 20-Feb-20 14:34:17

sorry, messed up the click link Too distracted by trying to do my pelvic floor exercises

OP’s posts: |
DodoPatrol Thu 20-Feb-20 14:43:59

I must be missing something here - why is that on CBeebies?

Doobigetta Thu 20-Feb-20 17:33:27

I had a text from my GP surgery today informing me that “urinary leakage affects ladies of every age”. Thoughtful, but a bit random out of the blue. And made me think of Emily from Little Britain.

Gwynfluff Thu 20-Feb-20 18:24:31

Completely agree and then we’d then look at childbirth and stop forcep deliveries and leaving women to labour for 24 hours.

Al1Langdownthecleghole Thu 20-Feb-20 18:30:01

Incontinence certainly wouldn’t be an “oops moment.”

We need to start from a point that incontinence isn’t an inevitable complication of ageing, or pregnancy and childbirth.

Evenquieterlife33 Thu 20-Feb-20 19:11:25

Yes. If men gave birth oops moment surgery and correction would be part and parcel of post natal care.

Justhadathought Thu 20-Feb-20 19:48:59

We need to start from a point that incontinence isn’t an inevitable complication of ageing, or pregnancy and childbirth

Maybe not inevitable, but certainly pretty standard. Have to say, though, I was always given advice over pelvic floor exercises and so on......I've always had a weak bladder and leaking has beome more of a problem the olde I've become.

My husband had prostate cancer - and that leaves most men with some degree of incontinence, as does the treatment and surgery for it. there are whole sections in the supermarket for men's incontinence 'products, as there are for women's.

Indeed, I even noticed that you could buy waterproof mattresses for double beds the other day - when I was looking out for a mattress protector for my granddaughter.

Siameasy Thu 20-Feb-20 22:28:35

Oh massively. I actually make comments about it at work and at the sport I do because it makes people feel uncomfortable...why should we be ashamed? I will say “I can’t do that move without pissing myself, sorry”. I do gymnastics and trampoline and it is not pelvic floor friendly.
On a serious note I had a forceps delivery as baby was back to back and suffered permanent damage. Wry comments are my way of dealing with it. I went back to work when DD was 12m. We are out and about with work and there’s not always a loo..I was not confident that I had recovered full bowel continence even at that point and 5 years later it’s still like “if I’ve gotta go I’ve got to go now!”

Grasspigeons Thu 20-Feb-20 22:37:56

I approached my female GP about this issue. She suggested i google some advice and couldnt fathom why i had bothered her as its just life apparently. I'm going to see if a male gp is more sympathetic.

Al1Langdownthecleghole Thu 20-Feb-20 23:00:30

Leaving this link as it may be helpful to some.

Prawnofthepatriarchy Thu 20-Feb-20 23:02:25

I must have a great practice. I went to my GP about my urge incontinence and was off to see the continence physio within a couple of weeks.

Fauxgina Thu 20-Feb-20 23:02:56

Well, I had sole care of two young babies, a severe pelvic organ prolapse with urinary and faecal incontinence and it took the NHS numerous invasive chats. Come back in 3 months and speak to that consultant. Wait 5 months for this test. Failure to offer any physical support eg pessaries, medication for pain relief etc and TWO YEARS before surgery to resolve birth trauma.

My Dad had an arthritic hip, he was referred to the private health care system due to wait times and had a replacement hip in a private hospital within 4 months. Because golf.

I had sepsis, and a failed surgery. Because babies.

Damn right it's a god damn feminist issue.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners Thu 20-Feb-20 23:18:42

It took 5 years for my GP to take me seriously and prescribe Neditol. My mother had an op to sort her bladder out but it didn't work, so I was loath to go down the surgical route. The tablets are a game changer. I'm just annoyed at how long I had to persevere.

Gingerkittykat Fri 21-Feb-20 00:09:46

It seems I was lucky, I developed a problem and was taken seriously. Male GP (no female at the practice at that time) prescribed tablets that didn't work well. Female GP immediately referred me to pelvic health physio who helped me a lot as well as prescribing Neditol.

I do think it should be discussed more openly instead of the constant jokes about Tena. My problems were not a result of childbirth or the standard urge incontinence and I had never heard about pelvic health physios before I had a problem. I felt totally humiliated when I started to have problems but talking about it and being taken seriously made me feel better about it.

LouHotel Fri 21-Feb-20 00:34:15

We talk about it openly at work although weirdly my first babies birth made me incontinent and I had pains going to the toilet for a long time. After my second baby I don't know what the midwife did down there but haven't had an issue.

NYnachos Fri 21-Feb-20 00:42:08

Also apparently lowering levels of estrogen in the menopause can weaken pelvic floors.

So if childbirth doesn't get you...

Middleagedmidwife Fri 21-Feb-20 08:12:24

I went to my GP and was diagnosed with a rectocele and a mild cystocyle. I get constant cystitis and some continence issues with coughing. I’m still waiting for physio appointment and no mention of surgical opinion.
I do feel if I was a man who had these issues I’d have been referred for surgery immediately. My GP sent me off to do pelvic floor exercises!!! I explained I do them every day and teach other women to do them. They don’t work!!!!

Prawnofthepatriarchy Fri 21-Feb-20 11:51:18

I have a rectocele too, Middleagedmidwife and my female GP advised me not to have surgery unless absolutely necessary as apparently it can seriously screw up PIV sex.

Middleagedmidwife Fri 21-Feb-20 13:42:04

Maybe I’ll persevere with physio then. Hope it improves things.

SciFiScream Fri 21-Feb-20 13:55:15

That's my friend. She's ace and does a lot for women and women's rights.

She's touring in Australia at the moment with her educational comedy.

She's very talented and educated about the subject of female continence.

This is content from her comedy. It's been cut together remember.

She's on Mumsnet too.

SciFiScream Fri 21-Feb-20 13:57:41

BTW the way we've been taught to do the exercises is wrong. We shouldn't be tying to stop a pee mid stream. We need to clench the muscles we'd use to stop the worlds smelliest fart. Those muscles are further round and deeper.

I've been doing the routine for a while and have noticed a definite improvement.

Goosefoot Fri 21-Feb-20 19:35:40

I think it's a difficult problem. For women who have had kids, it's mechanics, that is a lot of physical trauma that can happen. Solutions though, aren't simple, anything invasive can have real downsides in an area of the body with delicate tissues, where there is urine and faeces nearby, and where it can impact sex.

PlanDeRaccordement Fri 21-Feb-20 21:03:29

This is stupid argument.
It’s like saying if men were poor, then we’d pave the streets with gold. Oh, wait men do get poor and also get incontinence.

You’re pretending that all men’s problems are addressed by society and they live worry free lives. They don’t.

MrsFogi Fri 21-Feb-20 21:09:05

In France all women get a series of sessions with a physio after childbirth to sort out their pelvic floors. They are always horrified to hear how backward we are in the UK about this.

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