Talk

Advanced search

Bbc article about filmed rape on pornhub

(13 Posts)
ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings Mon 10-Feb-20 09:12:17

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/stories-51391981

Trigger warning - graphic descriptions of sexual violence.

This article has really disturbed me. Her description of her state after the attack, bloodied and beaten, and the police asking her "was it consensual? Was it a wild night gone too far?" And after it was discovered that the footage was on pornhub, how her classmates not only watched it but bullied her over it, with parents telling their sons to stay away from her in case she "seduced them and accused them of rape". This is footage of an unconscious 14 year old beaten to within an inch of her life being violently raped, and people still blamed her and accused her of lying. And how it took so long for pornhub to take the footage down, only when she pretended to be a lawyer. What chance does the victim of revenge porn, or the rape which didn't leave her almost dead, or where their was initially consent have, when even such an extreme and clear example of rape is treated this way?

The thing that shocked me most though is that pornhub still has videos up titled "unconscious teen gets abused" with the justification that it's a "popular fantasy" and "all forms of sexual expression should be allowed". It's so revolting to me that any man could be aroused by that. Without doubt a lot of men who watch porn are watching rape and they just don't give a shit.

I don't know how we come back from this. I was reading an autobiography the other day where the author was describing visiting a porn shop in the 80s, and how the feminist bookshop opposite would put cameras in their window to catch and shame men who went in their. It made me realise that if we weren't able to get a handle on porn back then, when it was actual shops not the Internet, when feminism was united on the issue, when the images of extreme abuse weren't mainstream, how can we ever hope to now? How can we even begin to put the genie back in the bottle? And if we can't - if porn, even extreme violent porn, can't be stopped - then where do we go from here?

OP’s posts: |
ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings Mon 10-Feb-20 09:13:53

Sorry, the app seems to have posted my thread twice and deleted all my paragraphs!

OP’s posts: |
Clymene Mon 10-Feb-20 09:21:43

We do it by making porn completely unacceptable. We are where we are because of all the people who think porn is just harmless fun. And as long as men normalise porn in our schools, our courts and our media, we have an uphill battle.

But I'm glad stuff like this is getting out there (although my heart goes out to the victim). This is how you make people see how vile and deeply misogynist it is. Women - all women - need to take a zero tolerance approach.

Siameasy Mon 10-Feb-20 09:25:04

Dreadful. At some point - or a gradual process more likely - porn went from something seedy to completely mainstream. I do try to shame men who use it but honestly those types of men do not care. They tell me all men do it.

JustHereWithMyPopcorn Mon 10-Feb-20 09:34:34

I haven't read the article because your post made me upset enough. I have sons and I hate the fact that they will be exposed to this horrific stuff and in all likeliness see this as normal despite my best efforts to teach them otherwise. I genuinely want to cry at the state of the world and my inability to stop this juggernaut of hateful abuse.

I hope that the girl in that video, and others, somehow manage to get through this and live a good life.

NeurotrashWarrior Mon 10-Feb-20 09:35:28

Thank you for posting this. I read it this morning and found it shocking to the core.

It feels like the porn issue is completely and utterly out of control to me.

I feel scared and sick for my two boys, how to approach this with them in the future. Scared and sick for girls wand young women who then meet males twisted by porn.

I'm being impressed with the articles this reporter does actually, given her awful title - gender and identity reporter. At least she is focussing on extremely gritty core female issues. Identity issues for her appear to be intersectional with racism in the original meaning of ten word. (From my twitter foray.)

This is her twitter re the story: (the victim has commented and approves of this.)

https://twitter.com/meghamohan/status/1226571376724783107?s=21

VortexofBloggery Mon 10-Feb-20 09:35:54

Bloody hell. Since when has "extreme abuse of unconscious teen" been a form of sexual expression? Disgusting.

Allinadaystwerk Mon 10-Feb-20 09:41:06

I cant bring myself to read the article. Too scared to. I think porn is hugely damaging to society. I talk to my ds (12), he knows boys who have watched porn and they encourage him to. I'm pretty sure he hasn't as he is clueless to what it shows but clearly curious. I tell him its bad. I treat it like all other social ills that you would teach you dc not to do...lie steal violence racism bigotry cheating mysogony... you know all the vile stuff that causes pain to others. I'm hoping he hears and understands and chooses not to do any of that stuff. But the social pressure is huge. I agree zero tolerance

ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings Mon 10-Feb-20 09:44:04

My dp tells me he never watches it and I believe him, we've had enough conversations about the abuse inherent in the industry that he could never claim ignorance. So at this point if I found out he was watching it it would be a deal breaker for me. But when we first met I told him that I didn't mind because I was trying to be a "cool girlfriend". This was a long time ago, before we had our children and I found FWR and my "feminist awakening". Of course I also didn't realise at that point how extreme a lot of "mainstream" porn is, or how few safeguards their are to stop abuse, coersion and rape videos ending up online. I was naiave, but I think it was a willful naiavity. I was very much brainwashed by the "feminism is about choice, her body her choice" narrative. I am forever grateful to the posters here for opening my eyes on that subject.

I've watched porn exactly once in my life, when I found a dvd hidden in my ex fiancé's laundry. He went ballistic when I asked him about it, and I promised I didn't mind and offered to watch it with him to prove I was OK with it. We were in an inter racial relationship and the video was of a very large black man having very rough looking anal sex with a very small white woman. The pair mimicked us visually in many ways so it became immediately obvious what kind of sex he was thinking about. We only watched a small amount of it and it made things so awkward between us that we never spoke about it again. The relationship later became very abusive in a number of ways. So I guess my personal "journey" towards seeing porn for what it is has been informed by all those things. It really shakes me now to think that I might have been watching a rape all those years ago. I was only 21, and very much thought my duty in relationships was to put mens sexual needs above my own in every way.

OP’s posts: |
ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings Mon 10-Feb-20 09:45:51

I have a son and a daughter and I feel sick with fear for both of them 😟

OP’s posts: |
BINtersectionalFeminism Mon 10-Feb-20 10:01:36

flowers OP that’s awful.

And flowers for Rose. What a brave woman. I don’t know what to say apart from it’s horrific. And the police/courts - you have videos of men raping an unconscious girl and it’s still not enough to get a rape conviction?

Siameasy Mon 10-Feb-20 17:17:39

I am disgusted with porn. I’ve only ever watched it by accident (at a party and someone put a video on, clichéd moustache blokes hanging round a sauna type thing) but that sort of thing and dirty mags seem innocent now. Yet we are expected to not only tolerate it but celebrate it.

SonEtLumiere Mon 10-Feb-20 17:30:04

I really fear for my children. But men really do need to feel women’s scorn, and know that (at best) it makes them a grubby little wanker. Or worse someone who finds watching rape orgasmic.

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in