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Feminism: Sex & gender discussions

Ireland, same as it ever was

90 replies

OncewasLangandClegtwo · 08/02/2020 23:12

"I realised I wanted a living wife, not a dead husband."

Interviewer repeats, and says that's profound.
Fuck off you wanker.

@tinselangel

Hope its OK to copy you into this?

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OncewasLangandClegtwo · 08/02/2020 23:24

The reason for my thread heading.
@glinner is getting a lot of shit for posting the pic of a transwoman, the transwomans image was protected onto a building in Dublin. He said something about same old priests.
I'll admit at first I was thinking that yes he has gone a bit too far. But actually he is right.
How is it fucking profound to say your husband would have commit suicide if you didn't validate their trans identity.
It's a cult and non believers are punished. (in this case it seems the punishment would be this womans fault for causing a suicide)

This is not a drill.

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OncewasLangandClegtwo · 08/02/2020 23:25

*image was projected

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SonEtLumiere · 09/02/2020 07:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DuchessDumbarton · 09/02/2020 09:28

I dunno.....
There are so many dynamics going on inside relationships.

I didn't see the interview - did they have children?

I dont agree when (s)he says that they are like all women and have to be careful walking the street- the danger is different for XX women.

Coercion is such a powerful force...and women's people's need to do the "right thing" and "loves conquers all" and so on and on...

Dont know what Im saying and will have to have a think before I can be coherent

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ArranUpsideDown · 09/02/2020 09:37

My major takeaway for how insidious this is that pretty much all the parties in Ireland are heading towards criminalising any healthcare that is anything other than "gender affirming" for children.

That's the perfidy of allowing the 'suicide leverage' to preclude any discussion.

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ThinEndoftheWedge · 09/02/2020 12:01
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NothingWrong · 09/02/2020 13:06

Yes, Ireland is leading the way.

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NothingWrong · 09/02/2020 13:08

She wanted to be 'a living wife' (female), not a 'dead husband' (the man she was.

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NothingWrong · 09/02/2020 13:09

She basically stated that she was suicidal as a man from my watching of the interview.

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Mayorquimby2 · 09/02/2020 13:19

We're not the ones sending the old bill round if you call a man a man on Twitter

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NothingWrong · 09/02/2020 13:29

I don't like your tone about Ireland.
What does 'same as it ever was' mean?
As for 'fuck off you wanker' to Tubridy?
Who do you think you are? Or why do you think you're in a position to comment on what Ireland does?

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NothingWrong · 09/02/2020 13:30

Does that couple somehow upset your existence?

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MCBerberLoop · 09/02/2020 13:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pachyderm · 09/02/2020 13:55

The OP is Irish as far as I know. So is perfectly entitled to comment on the shite state of affairs here.

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OldCrone · 09/02/2020 13:58

"I realised I wanted a living wife, not a dead husband."

This is from a report on Transgender People’s Experiences of Domestic Abuse from the Scottish Transgender Alliance

A quarter of respondents stated that their partner or ex-partner had threatened or attempted suicide or self-harm as a way to make them do, or stop them doing something. receiving such threats from a partner or ex-partner can generate intense feelings of guilt and concern for the wellbeing of the partner or ex-partner particularly since suicidal thoughts, threats and actions are strongly associated with mental illness, severe emotional distress, and vulnerability. As a result of these associations, it can be difficult for a person experiencing domestic abuse to identify their partner or ex-partner as holding abusive power over them. They may instead feel obliged to fulfil a care-giving role towards the threatening partner or ex-partner. The presence of threats of suicide or self-harm can lead people to try to excuse (through narratives of illness and diminished responsibility) other abusive behaviours carried out by the person making the threats. Where a transgender person already feels guilt about possibly causing distress to a partner or ex-partner by coming out as transgender or starting to transition, threats of suicide or self-harm by a partner or ex-partner are particularly likely to result in a transgender person feeling unable to express their gender identity or continue to transition.

So according to the trans lobby, the partner of a transgender person threatening suicide is likely to be abusive behaviour towards the transgender person by the non-transitioning partner. But a transgender person threatening suicide is never abuse of the non-transitioning partner.

Why the double standards, I wonder?

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ArranUpsideDown · 09/02/2020 14:12

'same as it ever was'

I'm most familiar with it as:
House of Pain's album name;
Talking Head's Once in a lifetime ;
variation of SAMO in guerilla art - particularly the "enigmatic epigrams" that featured so heavily in the Barbican's recent Jean-Michel Basquiat exhibition.

I can see the similarity between transference of unthinking acceptance from a religious faith to contemporary social phenomena. I may be wrong in that.

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OncewasLangandClegtwo · 09/02/2020 14:26

It's that line about wanting a living wife, not a dead husband and the fawning over it.
This line comes up again and again and has been said by some prominant TRAs. It ties into the suicide stats they use and the threat of suicide if they are not affirmed.
To me it seems to put the onus onto the other person if they don't affirm.
I worry for people who watched it and could now be worried that they might cause someone's suicide.

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OncewasLangandClegtwo · 09/02/2020 14:56

I can see the similarity between transference of unthinking acceptance from a religious faith to contemporary social phenomena. I may be wrong in that.

Yes that's what is happening.

Just to add the couple on the late show seemed nice I've no issue with them at all, I have an issue with how talk of suicide is being used in this way.
It's completely irresponsible.

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NothingWrong · 09/02/2020 15:04

It's reality. We talk about that shit in Ireland these days!

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pachyderm · 09/02/2020 15:11

@Nothingwrong "we talk about that shit in Ireland these days" and yet you aggressively questioned OncewasLangandClegtwo's right to talk about it. What hypocrisy.

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3timeslucky · 09/02/2020 15:28

@NothingWrong
You're saying It's reality. We talk about that shit in Ireland these days!

But on Craicnet you're stating:
I'm not in Ireland. I'm observing from the sidelines!

So you're not part of any "we" that is talking about anything in Ireland? You're sitting elsewhere talking about Ireland - which appears to have been your criticism of the OP?

Make up your mind where you are.

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Coyoacan · 09/02/2020 17:31

But it's certainly not exclusive to Ireland, is it?

It's not just the religious aspect of the Irish though. When I lived in the Republic I found people were very much inclined to be kind and think no evil.

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LizA49 · 09/02/2020 17:41

How is it fucking profound to say your husband would have commit suicide if you didn't validate their trans identity.

Reminds me of my sisters ex who told her he was going to commit suicide if she didn’t have an abortion. Same old manipulative shite. Angry

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OncewasLangandClegtwo · 09/02/2020 21:03

LizA49

It really is manipulative.
It just struck me because I've seen it used by prominant TRAs a lot.
I'm wondering if they heard it from trans groups..

No coyoacan not at all exclusive to Ireland but I think its fair to ask why people are so unquestioning, like Ireland was with the church in the past..
There was no debate then either.

I can't find the thread, but here's the article about doctors who's concerns about puperty blockers were ommited from minutes of a meeting.

www.google.com/amp/s/amp.independent.ie/irish-news/health/doctors-in-row-with-hse-over-claims-childrens-transgender-care-is-unsafe-38920159.html

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MenopauseIsMySuperPower · 10/02/2020 00:00

Ireland has a significantly higher suicide rate than the UK and higher male to female ratio (and presumably NI rates are included in UK figures and they are higher than the mainland figures so Britain would be lower again.

Insufficient data to form conclusions on attitudes to suicide we can only speculate, but it may mean women in Ireland are more worried about the possibility of men in their lives committing suicide so more susceptible to it being used as coercion

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