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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Non binary 12 year old on Today Program

84 replies

PancakeAndKeith · 10/10/2019 07:55

Quick post as I’m getting ready for work.

Boy said he was non binary and talked about how he didn’t feel that he fitted in.
However everyone referred to him by a male name and called him him.

It struck me that he was a very articulate and sensitive boy who was never going to fit in with the standard idea of masculinity. I wonder if he is struggling and the more gendered world of high school.

It’s a shame that children like him feel that they have to tie themselves in knots just because they don’t fit in with a stereotype.

OP posts:
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nauticant · 10/10/2019 07:58

One thing made me sigh and to me indicated that his parents are not necessarily guiding him as they should. In explaining what non-binary means he said that humans are animals and animals don't need to have two distinct sexes. Like worms.

This tweet on the non-binary segment was interesting:

twitter.com/SophieRunning/status/1182186574487937025

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IfIShouldFallFromGraceWithGod · 10/10/2019 08:01

That's true. Instead of saying you don't have to be a boy or, as I read in a FB group, asking toddlers if they are a girl or a boy😱
They should be saying you can like and play with anything you want. There are w no boys toys or pastimes, everything is ok

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LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 10/10/2019 08:02

He’s a kid. All he knows about boys and girls at that age is ‘boys like football and blue’. He probably doesn’t like either - and I wonder if his school had a ‘special assembly’ by a particular group or ‘charity’?

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ContessaLovesTheSunshine · 10/10/2019 08:03

The thing that mildly amused me was that it was immediately followed by a Thought for the Day on the topic of mantras and how helpful they can be. Transwomen are women, perhaps?

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FannyCann · 10/10/2019 08:07

Is anyone teaching children about (human) sexual reproduction and contraception these days I wonder?

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SlowasaSnail · 10/10/2019 08:11

That boy articulated the feelings I had at his age. I was still sure I was a girl though. It’s a shame his parents aren’t affirming his biology as well as his right to reject social stereotypes.

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ArnoldWhatshisknickers · 10/10/2019 08:12

humans are animals and animals don't need to have two distinct sexes

Um, mammals do. What the hell are they teaching these days if a twelve year old doesn't know that?

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SarahTancredi · 10/10/2019 08:14

Um, mammals do. What the hell are they teaching these days if a twelve year old doesn't know that?

And again, who benefits from the fact they dont...

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nauticant · 10/10/2019 08:23

It was annoying that because the child obviously needed to handled with great sensitivity it was not possible to examine him on any of the stuff he was coming out with (which I assume had been absorbed from the Internet). The BBC interviewer said in a tweet she was "stunned by your maturity and bravery".

Apparently there's going to be a follow-up segment at the end of the Today programme, I think 8.50 was mentioned. Having heard the non-binary segment I'm not expecting informed discussion.

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ArnoldWhatshisknickers · 10/10/2019 08:28

If the lad is so stunningly mature and brave surely he can handle searching questions.

Could it be that he is not, in fact, mature and brave at all?

This habit of using children to push agendas is quite sinister.

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TheRollingCrone · 10/10/2019 08:37

What stood out for me was the father saying "it's easier for us as well" ! FFS NO - be a parent. It's easier to let your child not go into school/ stay out all night/ smoke weed all day/eat shite morning noon & night.

But we try to make sure they do the right thing, because that's it sometimes holding the line because we DO know what's best. I hate that already this little boy want out of the 'man box' cos he sees no place for himself Sad

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LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 10/10/2019 08:39

He is a child. He has come across this idea and thinks ‘I don’t fit in with boys*, must be a ‘they’ then’. He is reading this - most likely online, or getting info from charities/lobby groups who seem hell bent on shoving kids into gender boxes.

*I am assuming he is more of a bookworm/computer kid and not football mad, shoot em up gamer (or whatever boys are supposed to like). Of course he isn’t interested in girls (or boys) yet as he is only 12 (although some may, and others will pretend) and as with most kids ‘eeeooowwww I’m never going to have a girlfriend/boyfriend/get married’.

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SisterWendyBuckett · 10/10/2019 08:42

This habit of using children to push agendas is quite sinister.
Yes.

Interesting timing for Today programme.

It comes just as Cambridge Scholars has managed to overcome the long drawn out legal wrangles and can now publish Heather Brunskell-Evans' new book, Inventing Transgender Children and Young People.

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LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 10/10/2019 08:43

And before there was someone on (talking about isis captives) about how these people get radicalised as teenagers but grow out of it by mid 20s.

I was half listening but heard this comment.

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LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 10/10/2019 08:44

I am curious as to what the 8:50 slot will be (about to walk into office...)

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BarbariansMum · 10/10/2019 08:47

That item made me really cross. I dont blame the child for not identifying as either gender, I always felt like a really crummy girl because I never liked anything that girls were supposed to like (except, later, boys). But I just wish, wish, wish the BBC would distinguish bw gender and sex and structure interviews accordingly.

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LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 10/10/2019 08:50

We didn’t have this new fangled ‘gender’ when I was a kid 😉. Bowie wore a dress, every glam band seemed to have a bloke in heels and flounces, and even Dylan wore eyeliner...

My sister was a major league tomboy (and would have been ripe for these barmpots If they’d been around and if my parents had been idiots).

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NellieEllie · 10/10/2019 08:54

The boy was clearly from his language not a typical “boy” of that age. But the father’s clear insistence on use of “he” and “him” did make me wonder if he buys into it. But then , why let him on TV?

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OrchidInTheSun · 10/10/2019 08:54

Ooh they've got Steph Davies-arai on now!

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ArnoldWhatshisknickers · 10/10/2019 08:56

We didn’t have this new fangled ‘gender’ when I was a kid

Ha! Trans ideologists make me disturbingly nostalgic for the 80s, which were objectively shit.

But, oh my, Adam Ant as a dandy highwayman........I still have a crush near 40 years on.

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LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 10/10/2019 09:00

Even my very macho brother had waist length hair back in the 70s! Dear god my dad even got himself a man bag on France (he thought it was a genius idea)...

We played with action man. We had pogo sticks and robots. We loved meccano and were always climbing trees and making dens one the woods.

Bet he wishes he had that much hair now!!

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AlwaysTawnyOwl · 10/10/2019 09:01

Stephanie Davies Arai fantastic on the Today programme at 8:50 am

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LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 10/10/2019 09:02

Hey I’m loitering with a coffee.

SEX SEX SEX not gender hahahahaha hahaha.

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TheRollingCrone · 10/10/2019 09:02

Arnold same here - the brilliant picture of Bowie & Angeles in the park. Him in a beautiful dress & full face An gie in a beautiful suit. Fuck where'd it all go wrong ?

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BarbariansMum · 10/10/2019 09:03

Dont kid yourself @LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD They might have let me climb trees but I wasnt allowed play football, or study graphic design, or woodwork (it was textile or parentcraft for girls), and computer club was only for the boys. Meanwhile the choir was girls only, drums were the only instrument boys ever played and any boy who tried to join a ballet or tap class would probably have been kicked to death on the playground.

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