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(52 Posts)
littlebillie Fri 18-Jan-19 11:47:06

Walking to a meeting, wrapped up in boots and overcoat a man walked passed me and uttered "you slut". He was mid 50s - I feel sorry for him and the next women he meets on his way today.

What a strange world we live in.

MagicMix Fri 18-Jan-19 11:49:37

What a piece of shit. I'm sorry you had to hear that flowers

LouiseCollins28 Fri 18-Jan-19 11:53:31

Oh dear! Sorry you had to hear that. Was this out on the street or in your workplace, I'm guessing outside given you mention being "wrapped up?" Properly weird too, though I've had some odd incidents myself in the past.

Tonightstheteriyakichicken Fri 18-Jan-19 11:53:47

He must have felt very powerful. hmm
What goes through these people's heads at such times - "I know, I'll insult a stranger".

littlebillie Fri 18-Jan-19 11:56:01

On the street, I was walking to meeting in business wear with overcoat and boots. Pathetic male!

LouiseCollins28 Fri 18-Jan-19 12:00:55

@littlebillie. I assumed so, what a prat! Overcoat and boots is fairly standard in January, struggling to even think what is remotely "slutty" about that to prompt such a comment!

Badstyley Fri 18-Jan-19 12:00:58

Arsehole!

Not long ago I was walking back from the local shop with DS. A young lad, probably about 15 who passed us going the other way spat at my feet and called me an ugly slag. That of course is not the only, or most recent time such things have happened, not by a long chalk, but that one sticks out in my mind.

Why is it all fine and dandy that we should put up with this shit from boys and men? I think the answer is that the good men don’t notice or experience it so they don’t really care, and the arseholes think we deserve it and don’t care. Basically men just don’t give a shit.

Also I think individual men wouln’t be happy if it happened to their wife, mum or sister and would cheerfully punch another bloke out for doing it, but any other women they wouldn’t give a shit, presumably because they don’t feel protective/ownership over them.

Beerincomechampagnetastes Fri 18-Jan-19 12:09:07

I was shopping for some resources for my class one day and a man deliberately hit me in the face with his elbow. Just walked past me and gave me an uppercut to my face.
He was young and strong and I have no idea why he hit me.

woopdedoodle Fri 18-Jan-19 12:14:33

We are in their way, simple as that, and they wouldn't do it to a man. So women get the both the" she's in my way" plus the" he's in my way but I can't do anything about that" hate.

Hope that makes sense.

I have a feeling that if women could they would do the same.

woopdedoodle Fri 18-Jan-19 12:17:20

Ouch, been shoulder barged, but that is nasty.

Tonightstheteriyakichicken Fri 18-Jan-19 12:23:31

I was walking at a snail's pace holding my youngest's hand in a seaside town once.
A small group of lads came towards us and they weren't rowdy or anything. The last two to go past were grinning and the one nearest me 'copped a feel' of my breast as he passed by. I was so shocked I almost questioned did that really happen? and didn't even say anything. Nor did I feel able to shout after them as I had my toddler with me. For the record wearing a summer dress and thin cardi.

Racecardriver Fri 18-Jan-19 12:27:17

How odd. People do such strange things sometimes that it makes you wonder.

LouiseCollins28 Fri 18-Jan-19 13:33:44

I have experienced plenty of such incidents in the past myself @woopdedoodle, my latest one, similar to the situation you describe, being just yesterday morning!

An impatient male driver, after turning into a side road and nearly running into me, stopped suddenly and wound his window down and told me to "get out of my way you stupid bitch!"

AbsintheFriends Fri 18-Jan-19 13:48:50

That's quite shocking. Totally believable, sadly, but shocking.

Do you think it's a caused by being porn-soaked? So, that guy just walking down the street is still partly in the porn world he's inhabited most of the night and on his commute, and he sees a woman and his automatic, visceral response is to sexually degrade her?

Don't know why I'm trying to understand it. It's fucking depressing.

woopdedoodle Fri 18-Jan-19 18:52:01

The worst that ever happened to me, I was attacked by three young teenagers, while I was dressed as a gorilla.

I'm tall often called strapping, it was lunchtime, and there is no reason for them to know I was a woman.

Men feel able to let out their aggression in ways women don't.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD Fri 18-Jan-19 18:58:16

I’m shocked at reading some of this. Last time I had anything like that I was walking through a busy area with DH (who didn’t hear - but I have ears like a bat) I was so enraged I squared up to the little shit and bellowed in his face ‘you f***ing what??? (In my best Glaswegian) and puffed my shoulder back and leant into him (no idea what I would have done as my next move) and he and his little mate scurried off. I would never recommend confronting idiots.

thefirstmrsdewinter Fri 18-Jan-19 21:50:33

I'm sorry for you all but not shocked or surprised. I just did a mental tally of my own experiences - two flashers, one boob poke, countless bodychecks, countless hissing sex stuff, one weirdo who tried to hold my hand on a tube platform etc etc - and I've stopped because it's depressing and I manage to keep it out of my mind usually. (I almost wrote that I'm very average-looking as if harassing hot women is understandable.)

FlyingOink Fri 18-Jan-19 22:13:09

I was so enraged I squared up to the little shit
Unfortunately I do this too, and I've come off worse because of it. It's an instinctive thing, though, I wish I didn't do it.
I just did a mental tally of my own experiences
I wouldn't. sad

BlindYeo Fri 18-Jan-19 22:37:52

Sorry that happened OP. Horrible individual.

This thread reminds me of that incident when a man pushed a woman into the path of an oncoming bus and luckily the driver swerved in time. There was CCTV footage but I don't think he was ever identified.

ChattyLion Fri 18-Jan-19 22:44:07

It was fucking horrible slowly realising that when you are a teenage girl, a lot of boys and men are projecting all kinds of degrading and dangerous or just fucking weird shit of their own on to you.

It isn’t a series of random unlucky incidents involving being groped and grabbed and hit etc etc. It’s what you stand for as a woman on your own (or out in public only with other women) that makes them behave like that. sad

ChattyLion Fri 18-Jan-19 22:46:02

Only mentioning the teenage girl thing because I found it was a lot worse around that age. It wasn’t magically hassle free as an adult of course.

thefirstmrsdewinter Fri 18-Jan-19 23:16:27

Chatty yes, before you've become completely cynical about it it's quite a shock.
I remember my mum being uneasy about how an 'uncle' used to demand hugs and cuddles from me (I was probably around 10) and that whole phase too, where previously cherished relationships with men you know suddenly become uncomfortable, make sure you're covered up, legs together etc then boom! the sudden confusing random attention from strangers. That was an exciting time when just going for a walk or standing somewhere meant invitations from passing men. I imagined the younger better-looking ones might fall in love with me.

Acornriver Sat 19-Jan-19 00:52:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thesepreciousthings Sat 19-Jan-19 18:44:49

So sorry you went through that OP.

A Pp mentioned that it happened to them more when they were a teenager, that was certainly my experience. During one summer, when I was 15, I was flashed and then 10 days later a man pulled up next to me, wearing nothing on his bottom half, masturbating. Police response - ‘what did you expect, wearing that’. (Denim skirt and a vest, standard teenage girl uniform IME).

Fast forward a decade, I had a BMI of 12 due to my eating disorder. Men (strangers) would routinely tell me that I was ‘unfuckable’ or ‘my dick would break you’.

Turns out, no Matter how much or how little you weigh, no matter how invisible you try and make yourself, you are still worth little more than how much men perceive you as a potential sex interest.

Beerincomechampagnetastes Sat 19-Jan-19 19:27:35

thesepreciousthings

flowers

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