Do you ever wish.......

[HuckfromScandal]

I sometimes long for the days before I was GC, before I was a feminist, before I knew what misogyny was (and didn’t realise when it affected me).
I feel so worn down by the relentlessness of being a female, consistently pointing out misogyny, being mansplained to, being constantly needing to defend my position.
I think maybe it was all easier when I wasn’t aware of it all.....

Is it just me?

[WineGummyBear]

I hear you. I take a break from it sometimes for wellbeing purposes.

[BillywigSting]

Not just you, ignorance is indeed bliss!

[ChickenMe]

Nope. It's so exhausting- there's so much I don't comment on. And it is wearing, making yourself unpopular-it's very thankless.

Yesterday I got into a debate with a male colleague. I'm a big fan of robust debate so I often do wade in. But I felt shattered for some time afterwards. I think because I get emotional as it matters so much to me. And some men love to what about, interrupt and derail..

I cope by just having a few main topics I will fight for. Eg they've tried to debate the gender pay gap at work. I've disengaged from it as it's emotionally draining.

[Theinconstantgardener]

Yes it is exhausting. Agree about taking breaks. Im lucky enough to be going on holiday soon and have promised myself not to go on line whilst im away

[Mogleflop]

Yes.

I miss being wide-eyed and innocent. It was easier.

[FloralBunting]

Sometimes. And then I remember whole years where I did absolutely nothing that made me happy, lived every single second of my life for the pleasure or service of someone else's ambition or comfort. I can remember cleaning vomit out of the car upholstery in the dark because one of my kids had thrown up explosively in the seat behind me at the end of a journey home, with it still in my hair, dog tired after a day in which I had been serving teas and cleaning up after men who were talking about important things. I had to pause to come and settle the kids to sleep and go back out to finish the car, and when I finally came back in, sick still in my hair, my DP asked if I could just make him a quick cuppa for him before he went to bed.

And I did every last bit of it believing it was the way the almighty God had designed it, and that if I ever felt aggrieved at any of it, that was my pride talking, which was the basis of everything that was wrong with the world.

If I compare that to now, yes, I still serve and care for my family, I still help others, but I have a voice now, and when men rock up with their bullshit, I am well able to tell them to cock off. I have the tools and the vocabulary to pinpoint unfairness and oppression, and yes, it is damned hard work, but good grief, freedom to speak is so much better than silence.

[ChickenMe]

If I'm exhausted I do some small, amusing acts of rebellion
Eg earlier I felt like hanging around in my knickers and a t shirt. DH said oh why are you hanging around in your pants. I said "it's the eve of ManFriday"
So you can do things that women aren't "meant" to do and have a laugh at the reaction