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Public terfing: "out and proud" or anon?

(94 Posts)
XXHelenaXX Mon 19-Mar-18 17:04:22

I've raised my voice against a few injustices in my life (I'm in my 50s) and of course expected and received opposition. However, I've never before been made to feel frightened just for holding a belief.

The trans lobby have already mentioned keeping my social media "under surveillance" to "collect evidence" to "report me to the police". Also my name has been given to local activists who have dished out violence to someone who didn't agree with them on this issue. They know where I live.

I'd like to start writing about this issue: articles, maybe a blog or website, possibly even a book. But I am scared of making myself a target for the TRA.

As I am only a couple of weeks into this campaign, it's not too late for me to backtrack and invent a fake online persona and thenceforth cease to mention the issue on my genuine FB and Twitter. Then anything I publish or blog etc would not be traced back to me.

We all know the names of the few brave "terfy" women who openly post on social media, appear in the press, arrange and speak at meetings and go on the telly and radio in their own real names. They must receive threats constantly. Shouldn't I also be "out & proud" in solidarity with them, instead of letting them to take all the flak whilst I cower behind a fake ID?

Or is the main priority to keep myself safe?

If YOU are an "out terf" do you wish you had created a fake ID before you started this campaign?

I'm at a crossroads right now, and would love to hear other women's views and experiences.

GabeIsShocking Mon 19-Mar-18 17:09:51

I am out to people I know. I haven't lost anyone. Though I dumped many people years ago who were not real friends.

I am a background type of person and not skilled at anything, so would not go on social media or main stream media. If you like attention then why not?

People should record what has happened, history requires contemporary reports.

The more out, the safer it is for all.

XXHelenaXX Mon 19-Mar-18 17:53:58

Thanks Gabels. If I "liked attention" I'd want everything in my own name.

I want to "do my bit" to help get the message out there to the 99% of people who know nothing about trans cult madness.

MsMcWoodle Mon 19-Mar-18 17:59:08

I suppose I'm 'out' now - this is by accident and I am scared.

IAmWonkoTheSane Mon 19-Mar-18 18:02:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SuitedandBooted Mon 19-Mar-18 18:06:39

I'm "Out", but I think I probably sorted out my real friends before all this started. I have been told I am "quietly forceful" confused so I suppose people keep away!

DH is "out" on Twitter with a lot of followers. Nobody abuses him, so I think this is mostly about intimidating women.

Buckingfrolicks Mon 19-Mar-18 18:06:46

I'm way too scared for the first time in 50 years of being an outspoken feminist, to speak my mind about trans activism. And that's one way I KNOW that TRAs are bullying, oppressive and ruthless.

You'd be brave to go public. Maybe all of us who tweet blog etc should agree to "come out" same day same time, and stick together.

HakunaDentata Mon 19-Mar-18 18:13:42

I'm not out and the TERF mantle lays heavy on my shoulders.
I tell people I trust about the issue, but never on social media.
There is something deeply malevolent about these TR activists, they're like Orcs. I wonder if they're being mass produced in Mordor.

It's an easy equation: if you're afraid of speaking out, this tells you all you need to know about this ideology.
I salute the brave ones. I'm not one of them.

KerplunkChampion Mon 19-Mar-18 18:16:12

I'm not out 🙁 I have terf friends IRL who are, one especially who connects me to other terfs ❤️, but I'm too scared of violence to post on Facebook or my real twitter.

thebewilderness Mon 19-Mar-18 18:19:46

"I am a Radical Feminist, not the fun kind."
I am old and there is nothing they can do to me that matters.
Keeping yourself safe is the highest priority so I do recommend an internet persona which you can keep separate as needed.

smithsinarazz Mon 19-Mar-18 18:23:05

H'm. I'm torn on this one. I'm still reeling from someone (a woman, at that) suggesting that I should, and I quote, have the shit beaten out of me until I get it. However,
A) I did think that if you were going to beat the shit out of someone it would be unwise to announce it to the world first, so I felt rather less scared than she presumably thought I should
B) it's important not to be intimidated.
But what really saddened me was the thought of upsetting people I like and respect, or making them think me a bigot. So I may go anonymous in future.

HeyRoly Mon 19-Mar-18 18:23:24

I lost friends when I said some terfy things (you know, basic things like transwomen are not women) so I'm far too scared to make the same mistake again.

Ditto Twitter/other social media. I might "like" things said by Hadley Freeman, but even worry that that might be enough to get targeted by activists.

MrsJoshDun Mon 19-Mar-18 18:24:36

I tweet stuff. My twitter handle has nothing to do with my name. No photos of me and I’ve gone back and deleted anything relating to my occupation. So don’t think I could be tracked. How did you know that they are keeping your social media under surveillance? Did they tell you. I know I’ve made the terfblocker list on twitter.

XXHelenaXX Mon 19-Mar-18 18:26:09

Sounds like everyone else feels the same as me!

Suited that makes me think that, if I go for a fake ID it should be as a man.

BTW I do not mean "out" to my friends, I only mean social media.

XXHelenaXX Mon 19-Mar-18 18:30:12

MrsJoshDun A friend directed me to a FB thread in a trans group. The OP named me and asked members to watch my social media. I took note of all the names on the thread and blocked them. But it alerted me to the fact that I have "come to their attention" and I really wish I had not.

XXHelenaXX Mon 19-Mar-18 18:31:54

Another worry is, someone once reported my Facebook profile as fake and FB made me send a scan of my passport to prove my ID. If I start another FB account in a fake name, I won't be able to prove my ID and it will be closed down.

tobee Mon 19-Mar-18 18:35:56

It's appalling that so many of us are scared, isn't it? I "came out" on Facebook in that I shared the government petition link. No one responded. sad. But at least I didn't get any hate or ridicule.

What's bothering me most is the way we are all spread out, kind of cottage industry terfs, and the TRAs seem to be an organised bunch. (Seems to be the only thing they can do). Surely there are many more of us terfs, and many, many unaware who would be than TRAs? How can we be more of a coherent force?

Ihavesomeballs Mon 19-Mar-18 18:36:28

I'm out out... I don't give a sod but currently having issues at work related to trans issue. I'm a fighter and I think we need to fight this rubbish any way we can. The more we stand up together against the tea's the better. I would like to see marches, demonstrations and outing of trans violence. I am constantly sharing posts on Facebook and Twitter, arguing with people on Facebook currently. Twitter is awash with 'our kind', it really helps keep me sane.

HairyBallTheorem Mon 19-Mar-18 18:37:30

I am trying to put my big girl pants on over this. I have an unusual surname and my workplace might possibly get arsey over it.

The majority of my RL friends are pretty terfy - I have a couple of friends who might go off on one (though one said some mildly gender crit things last night which I took as a hopeful sign - the other is Canadian and has completely bought into the ideology, but is a very dear friend on a whole number of levels).

ColinTheDachshund Mon 19-Mar-18 19:12:41

I have an unusual name, and a DD at uni... nuff said?

SuitedandBooted Mon 19-Mar-18 19:14:37

If you're setting up a fake profile, I would definitely do it as a man.

Not least because this is seen by many as a niche "feminist" problem. And for a lot of people Feminist is a dirty word.

Look at some of the comments on the DM re the Man Friday swimmers.
Lots of - "Well, what's the problem if we're all equal" confused

If men (real or fake!) come out and say "This is wrong" I am sure it will get more attention. Because, as we all know, men get listened to much more readily.

TheFootOfMyStairs Mon 19-Mar-18 19:41:14

A few years ago I had a FB account in a made up name and after I'd had a very minor disagreement with a MIT on a mutual friend's page my account was suspended until I provided ID verification - which of course I couldn't do even if I wanted to. And I wouldn't on principle anyway! Who do they think they are?! A bunch of hip dudebros who force women to take down pictures of breast feeding their babies while allowing rape videos....

I've always been very careful about online content attached to my real name - pseudonyms all the way for me, they're safer. In my view, getting the message out there is more important than putting my actual name to it.

thebewilderness Mon 19-Mar-18 20:31:21

Same for me. I used the same name on FB as I had used for ten years on the internet. No problem for five years and then suddenly the MRAs started reporting everything I posted. I provided FB with proof of ID and they changed my account name without so much as a by your leave.

Juells Mon 19-Mar-18 20:44:58

I made a couple of mildly terfy facebook posts because a long-time friend shared a post from Amnesty International Ireland were complaining about a Finnish girl who was refused a gender recognition document unless she'd had surgery. Amnesty said she was being forced to have sterilisation. I mildly said that I was surprised they knew all about one transgender person in Finland, but weren't doing anything about women being silenced by transactivists just across the Irish Sea. Two friends have, I know, demoted me to Acquaintance as a result.

I'm in a sticky position as well because my daughters' gay half-brother is into drag - which is something I find fucking insulting to women - and any time I've said so I've had to listen to a lecture about compassion.

I've started dipping my toe in the water with an old twitter account which I've rendered (I hope) anonymous.

I do find it shocking that we're afraid to voice our opinion on something that attacks our very being, that 'woman' has become all about the identity of a few men.

Juells Mon 19-Mar-18 20:48:16

I provided FB with proof of ID and they changed my account name without so much as a by your leave.

I don't understand that. Do you mean they put your real name on the account, without your permission?

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