I work in a public facing role. I've been here for 8 years and have always got on brilliantly with all my colleagues and my boss, it's something I pride myself on. Around 2 years ago my supervisor "came out" as FtM trans. This in itself was not a massive issue obviously, live and let live etc. Although it came as a shock as I'd known him as female for 2 years by then. But I adjusted and everything seemed ok. The issue is everything that has happened since then. My formerly female boss has to all intents and purposes transitioned to become a man, with short hair, facial hair, lower voice and wearing men's clothes and shoes. Obviously presenting as male. But he will not acknowledge this in any way and insists on being referred to not as "he/him" but with his "preferred pronouns" - these are "ze/hir". How the hell is preferred pronouns even a thing, and since when was it ok to just make up your own??? I've googled these particular ones and it takes me to teenager's Tumblr blogs. My boss is almost 40 ffs. I just can't bring myself to use them and so most of the time I manage to avoid using any pronouns at all, but sometimes it's hard and I've had to say he/him. The last time this happened was in a meeting, and my boss took me aside afterwards and accused me of belittling and humiliating him in front of the team. Apparently I face a disciplinary if it happens again. Can he really do this, and can he force me to use ze/hir? In the staff room if people are having a chat he will join in and "call us out" on stuff we say, even if we weren't talking to him. It's making things really tense, and people are becoming afraid to speak. I feel like I'm being pushed out of my workplace in a way.
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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions
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